(Closed) Why do you want to get engaged?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

*Want to start building a life as a couple?
*Want to know he’s truly committed to the relationship?
*Want social acknowledgement of our relationship?

And i would add that i want to begin having children in 2 years (he also agreed to this) and i will not have kids without marriage.  So i feel stalled to plan for those things and moving etc until we are married. 

Post # 4
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think it is the commitment. I have to make decisions about my life and career, where to move, where to apply for things, and I am done with long distance. I want to move in together (where he’s living) but I do not feel comfortable with that (after 4.5+ years) unless engagement is happening ASAP, marriage in two-three years. Yeah, it’s what others are doing, but that’s not why I want it. The ring is a nice perk. I just dont’ want to have to keep talking to people about my boyfriend when he really is my life partner and not just some guy I picked up last week! hahaa

Post # 6
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I want the legal benefits of marriage.
I want to hyphenate my last name.
I want to show the world we are devoted to each other for life.
I want the pretty ring!
I want our relationship to be taken seriously by others, although we have been going out a lot longer than others, we are ‘just’ boyfriend/girlfriend.
We have all the aspects of a married life already, with owning our house together and so on, and I don’t see why we should wait.
We have already tied ourselves to each other financially and emotionally, and just want to make it official already. I’m not interested in a wedding, we want to elope.

Post # 7
Member
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

*Want the legal benefits of marriage?
*Want to start building a life as a couple?
*Want to know he’s truly committed to the relationship?
*Want social acknowledgement of our relationship?
*Want a visible symbol of our love which shows we’re taken?

Those are my reasons as well as moral reasons assurity mainly that I’m not crazy for planning a life together with him. Without a ring, talk of the future together can be touchy

Post # 8
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Fiberoptic:  I want to get married for all the reasons you listed. I want the legal benefits of marriage. I want us to start building a life as a couple, including getting to the point where we will have kids. I want to know that he is 100% committed for life. I want our relationship to be publicly acknowledged, I’m looking forward to having a wedding (and a marriage for that matter). I want the pretty ring. I want a visible symbol that we’re in love. I feel like I am so far behind where everyone else my age is and want to be there too and getting married is at least a step in the right directions.

A few that aren’t in the OP: Boyfriend or Best Friend and I don’t plan on combining finances until we are at least engaged, and I think that combining finances would give me a little more financial security than I have right now (I’m a low income earner, whereas Boyfriend or Best Friend makes a lot of money, I have a ton of debt and Boyfriend or Best Friend has none, things like that). I think I’ll also feel like I’m contributing more to the household when we combine finances, and some of my money will be going towards household expenses (theoretically… although probably what will really end up happening is some of his money will end up going towards my personal expenses, at least until I start earning more!). I also want to know that he feels the same way about me as I do about him. At this point I want more than anything to be his wife for the rest of our lives. But since we’re not even engaged, I don’t know how he feels…

Post # 9
Member
229 posts
Helper bee

Two things:

(1) I want to exchange promises of love and commitment. Even though we say how much we love each other all the time, I believe that marriage vows represent something stronger, truer, and more sacred. Maybe it’s because I take promises extremely seriously in general, lol. I want to be able to give this to SO and receive it in turn.

(2) I want to be able to live together, yaaaaargh. We have chosen to live separately until we get married– our choice (though admittedly our parents wouldn’t be too thrilled if we moved in together, either). Dang it, though, I just want to be able to come home at the end of the day and have SO waiting for me!

Post # 10
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Mine has decision making issues, whether it’s breakfast or me! Afraid to grow up for sure. Mine is 25 but in grad school, so real life seems far away to him. But it’s not you guys!!!

Post # 11
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’m only sort of waiting – we’re planning an elopement/tiny wedding for this year but he hasn’t officially propose so I’ll answer. 

For us, it’s the legal benefits, in that he goes to school in a different country and my daughter and I can’t join him without visas, which we can only receive if we are legally married. I already know he’s committed to me and our family. We’ve already begun building a life together. It’s not about social acknowledgement or doing what our friends are doing, as we come from a place where most couples don’t legally marry and benefits are identical for married and common-law partners (except when it comes to separation). We’re planning to elope, so no big wedding, and the ring I picked out as the one I liked the best is less than 100$. We’ve already lived together and we parent a child together so these things aren’t an issue.

It’s also about the fact that he’s super awesome. If it wasn’t for the legal part of it, I wouldn’t care too much about getting married as long as we were together.

Post # 12
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I never thought about it….because he asked me?  lol

we already have been together 9 years, lived together 7 years and owned a house together for 4 years……we’re already in each others insurance policies….we have our “little family ” (dog and cat)…..

I guess this is “the next step”….to have that social acknowledgement that we’re a couple….to have the professional acknowledgement that we’re a couple….

Post # 13
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

*Want the legal benefits of marriage?
*Want to start building a life as a couple?

*Want social acknowledgement of our relationship?

These are the main ones. The pretty ring and wedding are just perks!

Post # 14
Member
659 posts
Busy bee

*Want to start building a life as a couple
*Want to know he’s truly committed to the relationship
*Want social acknowledgement of our relationship

Post # 15
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think it is the committment so that we can officially begin our life together. We already live together and own a house together, but I would not think of having children without a larger committment from him.

Post # 16
Member
220 posts
Helper bee

I want to get engaged because we can’t really start our lives together until marriage, and engagement is the most significant step in that direction.  As committed Catholics, we can’t sleep together or live together until marriage, so that it pretty big motivation right there.  Additionally, we’re in a long distance relationship now, and I don’t think it’s a good idea for one or both of us to relocate for a relationship that isn’t 100% committed.  While my boyfriend claims that we’re “just as committed as engaged couples,” I need it to be official before I can totally relax and let myself plan my life around being with him.

The topic ‘Why do you want to get engaged?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors