(Closed) Why do you want to have kids?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 47
Member
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@NauticalDisaster:  I guess I always felt the same way as you until after my wedding.  My aunt and uncle, who were CBC, told me the one regret they had was not having children.  To put things in perspective, my aunt and uncle are high end architects that have lived all over the world designing buildings.  They own a place in Hawaii, a swanky ranch in Santa Monica, and are really “comfortable” (aka they’re loaded).  However, they are both older now (in their sixties) and retired, so I think the idea of family has become increasingly important to them.  Fortunately, they’re able to have grandchildren vicariously through their neices and nephews.

Post # 48
Member
2890 posts
Sugar bee

@housebee:  That’s one thing Fiance and I agree on though ; we’re sure we won’t regret not having kids. We’ve talked this over, countless times. It was a certainty for both of us even before we met. We’ll bond with our nephews and nieces, and we’re open to the idea of fostering them if ever something dramatic happened to their parents, but that’s it. Having our own children is not something either of us finds appealing. Both of us want to get sterilized (for me = it’s also a statement of woman empowerment).

However, placed in a situation where I would have a surprise pregnancy, and would have to choose wether or not I would get an abortion, that’s a different story. I can’t know for sure how I would react, if I would feel guilty or remorseful about my choice, etc. I don’t know either, if my Fiance died tomorrow in a car crash, if suddenly I would regret not having his kids. I believe there are traumatic/highly emotional situations in life that can make you completely change your mind and change the way you’ve envisioned your life, and I believe it could happen to me if I was going through this kind of situations. What matters to me the most, though, is to always have the choice, because you can regret not having kids (I’m ready to deal with it if it ever happens), but you’re not really allowed to regret having them. That would be the absolute worst case scenario, and I wouldn’t want to deal with it for the rest of my life. 

Post # 49
Member
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@NauticalDisaster:  I guess the difference for me is that I’m an only child and my husband’s brother is CBC, so I wouldn’t have any neices or nephews.  In addition, the fact that we are in a position to have a family comfortably definitely swayed our decision.  However, I agree that abortion is a highly personal decision, and it’s definitely something I didn’t fully understand until I was put in that position.

Post # 50
Member
1122 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I guess we are on the opposite side. As we do not want children. Our reasons are fairly common. We enjoy our independance, and being able to do what we want, when we want. We can take risks in our careers and moves, and the only people we have to worry about effecting are ourselves, we dont have to worry that if we take that job and move across the country that junior will have trouble adjusting or something. We can spend our money on things WE want. We love our things, that sounds materialistic, but its true. We both have nice, fast cars that we love to drive, and I wouldnt want to give up my two seated Audi TT convertable for a mom car. We like our home clean and quiet. Friends have told us to have kids and then theyll clean for you, but that sounds awful. Lol. I love my neice, and love working with children, but at the end of the day they go home to their families and I get to go home to my cat, and thats nice. Lol. And this sounds bad, but I dont want to force  a child to live here. People are awful, and kids are getting meaner. Parents arent as responsible as they once were, and I dont want to have to force a child to deal with some other jerks child. Education standards arent what I would want for my kids, and while I would give them everything I could, I cant protect them from everything. We live in a horrible world that’s only going downhill, why add more people to it that will just get knocked down. I love children, I do. Theyre adorable and sweet and babies smell good and are so soft. I would play with them all day long everyday if I could, but I dont want one. I think its amazing that some women just know their meant to be mothers, im just not one of them.

Post # 51
Member
37 posts
Newbee

Most people romanticize having children.  You really have to consider how your life will be changed.  Not just that but look at the world today – and where it is going – look at the forced flu vaccinations in NY.  Is this a world you want a child to grow up in?  Electronic tattoos and tracking implants; merging humans with machines, robots, etc.  I would not put that on someone to bring into this world.  It is selfless to actually not do it, because you are not really doing anything for them by bringing them into a world like this, it’s not the 50’s anymore. It would be filling your own wants, not what is in the best interest of another human being.  It is hard in this era when you are tempted by the cute stuff and the fact that having babies is very trendy for the last few years.  

 

Post # 52
Member
8482 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Daizy914:  I’ve always been very maternal. Even though I was younger than my brother, I was always trying to take care of him, I always took care of my mom when she was sick (or had a hangover,) and always loved having pets to take care of. I started babysitting when I was 17, and when I was 19 my moms bf moved in with his kids and I was put in charge of watching them. The youngest was a year old, and I basically raised her till she was 2, so much in fact that she actually called me mama. Best feeling in the world. That little girl was the center of my world, even though she wasnt mine, and I was totally broken when she left.

So I guess the combination of being naturally maternal and taking care of kids has done its toll, and now its not so much of a want to be a mom, as a need to be a mom.

I really dont think I would ever be satisfied with life if I didnt have at least one child.

Post # 54
Member
37 posts
Newbee

Most people romanticize having children.  You really have to consider how your life will be changed.  Not just that but look at the world today – and where it is going – look at the forced flu vaccinations in NY.  Is this a world you want a child to grow up in?  Electronic tattoos and tracking implants; merging humans with machines, robots, genetically-modified food, chemicals added to the US food, etc’-I would not put that on someone to bring into this world.  It is selfless to actually not do it, because you are not really doing anything for them by bringing them into a world like this, it’s not the 50’s anymore. It would be filling your own wants, not what is in the best interest of another human being.  It is hard in this era when you are tempted by the cute stuff and the fact that having babies is very trendy for the last few years.  

Post # 55
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I might regret it if I don’t. seems like an interesting adventure, raising a little human. 

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