I’ve always assumed I would have children. I have always loved children, and at every family gathering I would be the one naturally designated to look after (and play with) the kids. My extended relatives are all very religious, and so what I have grown up seeing/being taught was that you grow up, you get married, and then you have a bunch of kids. I’m also one of 6 kids, so I grew up with a large family. I didn’t really see any other way of living.
Then I got older and realized that not having kids is actually a thing. And it’s actually a thing that is very appealing to me, in its own way. If I didn’t have kids, I know that I would be able to have a happy, feeling, adventerous life with my SO. We would be able to travel freely, we wouldn’t be tied down by anyone but each other, we could decide for ourselves exactly how we want our lives to look like. It was actually when I started dating my SO that I realized I COULD be happy and content and fulfilled without children, because I love our life together so much. So if we never have children, I am sure we will still have a wonderful life together.
But… Honestly, I DO want children. As much as I would be happy without them, if the choice is left up to me, I would choose to have children. They would be fulfilling in a different way, and they’d be an adventure in their own right. It’s scary to imagine our lives changing so completely, but also exciting. I want to raise bright, giving, thoughtful, kind citizens of the world. It will be challenging, but it will also be rewarding. I see babies smile and laugh and hug their mommy, and there’s this strong urge within me to have my own little baby that can smile and laugh and hug ME. I still my beautiful nieces getting older, and I see them with my brother and SIL, and they’re a close family unit, and I think to myself, “I want that.”
I can think of a lot of reasons for why I want children, but honestly, I can also list a lot of reasons for why I WOULDN’T want children. What really pushes me to want children is that urge in me, that instinctive desire to have them. If I were a person who didn’t have that urge (and I have a couple friends who are CFBC who say they just never had an urge to have children), I probably wouldn’t have them unless my SO really, really wanted them.