(Closed) Why does everyone think I’m a freaking bank?

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Say “no” enough times, and the smart ones will stop asking.

Collect on all the debts, too.  You don’t want that hanging over your head.

Post # 4
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@tranquility: I usually do one of two things.

A) Don’t give them the money.

B) Lend them the money but get a repayment agreement in writing which they sign. They have until X date to pay or I start adding interest. People are shocked when I do this, but it keeps them honest.

Post # 5
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@tranquility: is there a way to find out exactly WHAT it is for?  And instead of giving him the cash, buy what it is for him? (maybe shop around for the same thing, only cheaper elsewhere?)

Or, just stick with the “no” and know that you really DO NOT have the extra $$ to give out. 🙂 

Post # 6
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@tranquility: Anytime I “lend” money, I always do so with the understanding that I’m never going to see that money again (I don’t broadcast this, just a mental note).  If you are saving for your wedding and really don’t have it to spare, say no and don’t feel bad doing so.  I have the same problem and have had to force myself to stay strong and say no because it’s not like any of these moochers are gonna pay me pack when it’s time to pay for the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

View original reply
@tranquility: You DO NOT have to be nice when you say no to THAT!  If he wants to take a girl he can do that on his own dime.  You found your man and need to save for your WEDDING.  Wedding trumps date every time in my opinion!

Post # 10
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

How old is he? Does he work?

Post # 10
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
@tranquility: How about “But little brother, you still owe me $300 from xyz.”

ETA: Maybe give him some cheap date suggestions as a consolation prize. He can make a picnic in his own kitchen and take her to a park.

Post # 11
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee

I would be honest. “Sorry but I’m saving for a wedding and I don’t have any money to lend out”

Post # 12
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

View original reply
@tranquility: Yeah I will usually lend money once and if they don’t pay me back or at least acknowledge that they’ve borrowed money in the past that they haven’t paid me back, it’s the LAST time I lend money.  I’m like you and am too proud to borrow money, especially for things that aren’t necessary.  Stick to your guns on this one!

Post # 13
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

View original reply
@tranquility: wow…. ummm… how about “No.  Pay for it yourself or stay home” or “no way in hell”?  sheesh… that boy’s got some gall!!! LOL!

Post # 14
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’d say no. There are ways to get $40 without borrowing from someone. He can always pawn something if it is that important. 🙂

Post # 15
Hostess
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

“Sorry.” There are a ton of fun free things to do out there that don’t involve money. And I personally believe that if you can’t afford to go out, you don’t go out. 

You should NOT feel bad for saying no to such a stupid request. If, for example, your grandma called and said her pension didn’t come in and she has no food. . . that is a different problem. A date night for an able bodied adult? Absolutely not.

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