(Closed) Why does everyone think it’s okay to pick on the youngin’s?

posted 10 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 17
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am old enough to be your mother–and a first time bride.  People ask me what I’ve been waiting for (as if it isn’t perfectly obviously).  You just can’t win!

Post # 18
Member
7774 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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@MsBrooklynA: Ummm… I’m entitled to respond to whatever I want to respond to. I’m simply making a point that there have been a TON of “dont pick on young bride” posts lately. Please dont presume to tell me what I should do.

And, I wanted to agree with Georgie Bee. People will have stuff to say about it no matter what age you are.

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@Amaryllis: Amen.

Post # 19
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

And just to be clear, I am not picking on the young bride. I am just saying I can see both sides — people respond to a perception of you, even if that’s not how you truly believe yourself to be. The way one presents oneself WILL affect how one is treated. I don’t know the OP or her relationship; I am not commenting on THAT. I just think that there are ways in general to deal with it when you don’t like the way people respond to you, I guess is what I am saying. Sure, sometimes people are just being ridiculous, but if it seems to be a common thing, it may not be them.

Post # 20
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

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@zippylef: shes just looking to vent. If it bothers you don’t read it.

 

 

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@Akennedy01: I get it. Seriously! I’m so sick of heaing how many years I clearly have left before I should be engaged at some age deemed appropriate by the general public. It’s so easy for people to say just ignore it. It sucks. You want to tell those people to shove it where the sun don’t shine because it’s not their decision and who asked them anyways!? The best advice I can give you is to speak more often to the people who support you and speak less to people who don’t. Remember that you are not the only one and that us young brides understand why you are getting married and we are here to encourage you!

Post # 21
Member
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree that it’s irritating. But I’ve found that shrugging it off and putting that energy towards living your life makes things much easier. Whenever people I don’t know say something about our ages, I just laugh and let them know that we’ve been together six years, so we feel like it’s about time. 

Post # 22
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

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@MsBrooklynA: Did you mean to re-comment?

 

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@zippylef:  Perfect reply “Well, I dont see why you can’t wait/I think youre too young/etc” is “Well, I’m glad it’s not your decision, then.”

Post # 23
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i feel the same way. I got engaged at 19 and i’ll be getting married right before my 21 birthday. people that i work with say that i’m too young but i’ve been with my fiance since i was 14.  if i was with my fiance the same length but if we were 25, people would be saying “About time”. Just remember your getting married because the timing is right for you, so the other comments are just not worth getting angry about.

Post # 24
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

don’t worry,they pick on the old ones too.  if you don’t get married, they’ll pick on you later in life for NOT getting married.  the saying goes ‘hurt people hurt people’.  people who pick on others are hurting, and it’s an outlet for their hurt… even though it’s unhealthy, they don’t care and just want to get rid of their pain… s they inflict it on you.

ignore them… i have been for 48years.  i just got engaged at 48yo, so you’ll have to find something new to pick on me for… i’m sure it won’t take them long.Undecided

Post # 25
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I feel ya. I got engaged at 19 and took SO MUCH CRAP for it. Even now, I still get people making comments (I’m 21). The sad part is, my cousin got married at 21 (I’ll be 22 when we get married) and no one said ANYTHING. 🙁 Just gotta tough it out and ignore the haters, I suppose. Big hugs.

Post # 26
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I just ignore it. Honestly, what happens will happen. I know I love my Fi, and I know he loves me, but I know that can change, and bad things can happen in the future, but that can happen to anyone. I agree that when you are in your 20’s you are changing, but I know a lot of people who are a lot older than that and are still changing, and have been married happily for years. It just depends on the person. When someone comes up to me and says something about how young, to young in their opinion to get married, I  just tell them “ Thank you, for your concern, but I think I will be alright.” Who knows if 5 years after I get married I will get a divorce, I don’t think I will but no one knows. I could be married till I’m 60 and something suddenly changes and I get a dovirce. It happens, but no one knows to who it will happen, or when it will happen.

I will end this with one of my favorite quotes.

“We are not the same person this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.” – Jacques Maritain 

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