Post # 1
My SO has a habit of calling me his financee or wifey or bride-to-be, but WE’RE NOT ENGAGED!! It breaks my heart every time he says it and just makes me that more impatient! I’ve talked to him about it but he still slips with it every once in a while. And he brings up marriage – A LOT. I’m assuming that’s because he’s in the planning stages (for the proposal) but I have no way of knowing for sure.
Anyone else’s SO do this to them? Does it make you absolutely crazy?
Post # 3
It doesn’t bother me when my SO calls me his “future wife” or “wife”, but it drives me absolutely crazy when he says, “I wish we lived together”. I would absolutely be living with him if he didn’t worry so much about what his family would think if we lived together before being married. We can’t live together because his parents would be upset. He did compromise, saying we can live together when we’re engaged. . .but why the heck does he torture me like that. He knows I would move in with him in a heartbeat. It sure as heck is not my fault I’m not living with him!!!
Sorry. End of rant.
I can definitely relate. 🙂
Post # 4
I started calling Fiance Hubby way before we got engaged and it never bothered him (I asked). I guess it’s different for girls. Just tell him he’s not allowed to call you that until he proposes.
Post # 5
@ChicChick: I get that one too! We can’t live together right now – he lives with his grandmother. He has lived there, helping his grandparents, since we graduated high school. His grandfather passed last year and his grandmother is terrified to be alone. And I live with my mom, who went through a layoff and divorce at the end of last year and can’t afford to live on her own. We often joke that we should just have my mom move in with his grandmother and it would solve our problems, but in reality, that would be a horrible situation!
No need to apologize for the rant!!
Post # 6
@Coffee cup: It didn’t bother me at first. But I think the closer we get to the end of the year (he says he’s proposing by the end of the year) and the more antsy and anxious I get about the situation, the more it bothers me. Like, if you want to call me your finacee, you have to ask me to BE your fiancee.
Post # 7
My fiance did that too the entire time we were dating. He’d call me wifey or secret fiancee. It didn’t really bother me. I thought it was kinda cute. And I knew that we were on the same page about getting married someday. And he put a ring on it pretty quick because we got engaged 6 months after we started dating.
Just be patient. If he’s talking about it already, it’s probably gonna happen. It might be soon, it might be later, but if you’re trying to figure out exactly when, it just adds more stress to you. Just relax, and enjoy it. Good luck!
Post # 8
oh, Katy, you’re not alone!! My SO does this all the time, and yes it drives me NUTS!!
He’s always introducing me to people as his “future wife” or other similar things. He and his coworkers actually refer to me as his “wife” not his girlfriend which is exactly all I am. On one hand it’s extremely sweet, but it’s mostly very irritating, since I’ve been waiting to actually BE his wife (or atleast his fiancee) for 2 and 1/2 years now! Every time he says it I feel like he’s dangling a carrot in front of my face.
A few weeks ago he introduced me to someone as his “future wife” and then said “that is, if she says yes!” and it took all my energy not to say back to him “there was to be a question first!!” LOL
A month or so before THAT we were talking about health insurance and how mine was going to finally kick in at work, and his response was something along the lines of “if it didn’t that was going to mean we were going to have to get married sooner! You would’ve had great coverage with my insurance, though”. I was thinking wtf???
You’re a step ahead of me, however, in that you’ve talked to him about it. I WANT to talk to my SO about it and how it hurts my feelings and makes waiting that much harder, but unfortunately he always makes these comments in front of our friends, and I don’t want to have a discussion like that in front of people.
It HAS to mean that he’s planning on proposing soon, right? Either that or he’s just extremely cruel! I’m hoping for the first one, however… After all, HE’S the one that brought up marriage first in our relationship, and HE’S the one that initiated the ring shopping (that’s right, we picked out a ring over 2 YEARS AGO!), so why is he stringing me along like this? AGH!
Post # 9
My boyfriend keeps saying I am going to be his girlfriend forever. THAT’S torturing me! HAHA
Post # 10
@MisfitPrincess: I know!!! At first I thought it was cute – even got little butterflies when he would say it – and now I feel like it’s just plain mean!
I know he does it because he’s excited. Sometimes I think he’s as excited as I am. I did learn tonight (not from him) that he doesn’t have the ring yet because he is still making the final payments on it. I also found out that he spent a lot of money on the ring. Part of me wants to jump up and down about that – I mean, what girl doesn’t want to know that she’s getting a nice, big ring?? But the other half of me is pissed for 2 reasons – 1. I told him I didn’t need a big expensive ring to make me happy. I know he doesn’t have a lot of money and I’d rather be able to put that money towards the wedding or a house 2. If he got something smaller, I’d probably have it by now!!! lol
You said you haven’t talked to him about it – I highly recommend doing this. Sit him down one night and explain to him that something has been bothering you. I’d start with the way he makes you feel when he calls you his wife and use that as a platform to jump into the “When the heck are you gonna propose?!?!” talk.
It does sound like maybe he’s planning it, but if you went ring shopping that long ago I’d ask him what’s up!