(Closed) Why Does He Torture Me??

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1088 posts
Bumble bee

It doesn’t bother me when my SO calls me his “future wife” or “wife”, but it drives me absolutely crazy when he says, “I wish we lived together”.  I would absolutely be living with him if he didn’t worry so much about what his family would think if we lived together before being married.  We can’t live together because his parents would be upset.  He did compromise, saying we can live together when we’re engaged. . .but why the heck does he torture me like that.  He knows I would move in with him in a heartbeat.  It sure as heck is not my fault I’m not living with him!!! 

Sorry.  End of rant.

I can definitely relate.  🙂

Post # 4
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I started calling Fiance Hubby way before we got engaged and it never bothered him (I asked). I guess it’s different for girls. Just tell him he’s not allowed to call you that until he proposes.

Post # 7
15 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

My fiance did that too the entire time we were dating.  He’d call me wifey or secret fiancee.  It didn’t really bother me.  I thought it was kinda cute.  And I knew that we were on the same page about getting married someday.  And he put a ring on it pretty quick because we got engaged 6 months after we started dating.

Just be patient.  If he’s talking about it already, it’s probably gonna happen.  It might be soon, it might be later, but if you’re trying to figure out exactly when, it just adds more stress to you.  Just relax, and enjoy it.  Good luck!

Post # 8
320 posts
Helper bee

oh, Katy, you’re not alone!!  My SO does this all the time, and yes it drives me NUTS!!

He’s always introducing me to people as his “future wife” or other similar things.  He and his coworkers actually refer to me as his “wife” not his girlfriend which is exactly all I am.  On one hand it’s extremely sweet, but it’s mostly very irritating, since I’ve been waiting to actually BE his wife (or atleast his fiancee) for 2 and 1/2 years now!  Every time he says it I feel like he’s dangling a carrot in front of my face.

A few weeks ago he introduced me to someone as his “future wife” and then said “that is, if she says yes!” and it took all my energy not to say back to him “there was to be a question first!!” LOL

A month or so before THAT we were talking about health insurance and how mine was going to finally kick in at work, and his response was something along the lines of “if it didn’t that was going to mean we were going to have to get married sooner!  You would’ve had great coverage with my insurance, though”.  I was thinking wtf???

You’re a step ahead of me, however, in that you’ve talked to him about it.  I WANT to talk to my SO about it and how it hurts my feelings and makes waiting that much harder, but unfortunately he always makes these comments in front of our friends, and I don’t want to have a discussion like that in front of people.

It HAS to mean that he’s planning on proposing soon, right?  Either that or he’s just extremely cruel!  I’m hoping for the first one, however…  After all, HE’S the one that brought up marriage first in our relationship, and HE’S the one that initiated the ring shopping (that’s right, we picked out a ring over 2 YEARS AGO!), so why is he stringing me along like this?  AGH! Laughing

Post # 9
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My boyfriend keeps saying I am going to be his girlfriend forever.  THAT’S torturing me! HAHA

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