(Closed) Why does it always have to be jealousy?

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 62
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Honestly if I just didn’t like someone’s ring because it wasn’t my taste, I wouldn’t flat out tell them or make rude comments about their financial situation or fiancé. The only people who do that are jealous or just flat out rude.

i have to agree with PP too, thought, that it’s often something said just to make people feel better. Like when someone is being bullied and their parents tell them they’re just jealous. 

Post # 63
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

When people comment rudely on another person’s ring (or any other possession, for that matter), it may or may not stem from jealousy. It may be due to simple insensitivity, and tactlessness. Whatever the reason, its inexcusable. If I didn’t care for someone’s ring I would still compliment it in some way so as not to hurt their feelings. 

 

Post # 64
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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@allyfally:  hahaha. No I was not referring to you as an asshole. It was a general statement for people who can’t find a way to be tactful.I stand by my opinion that if people don’t have something nice to say, they shouldn’t comment at all.  I happen to agree with you that it us not always jealousy.  It can be a simple as different taste.

I have friends and coworkers whose rings I have detested and I have still managed to not be mean.  Unless one of the people involved is just an asshole, there is no reason to tell someone you think their ring is ugly, gaudy, Tacky or whatever. She is wearing it so just be supportive since she loves it and is happy. 

Post # 65
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have found the “they’re just jealous” line the be a crutch for those who rather have have a knee jerk reaction than actually think things through.

Post # 66
Member
1258 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I get what you are saying…however, I think the “they are just jealous” statements are geared more towards the downright rude comments. It’s ok not to like something…it’s how someone says they don’t like it. I personally believe the rude comments are jealousy…if I honestly don’t like something I just say something polite, but I’m not going to gush about it nor will I say something hurtful.  That’s just me though…not speaking for everyone.

 

 

 

Post # 67
Member
9831 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

View original reply
@Birdi:  Yes I do think it is a little far fetched to automatically assume jealousy. There may be another reason altogether for it.

Post # 69
Member
3229 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@allyfally:  I’m with you on not liking the oversized rings.  However it’s comments like “You’re too young to deserve that ring little girl” or “What did you do to get THAT” that ends up getting a response that the naysayer is jealous.  

Post # 70
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

one of the PP said “in the real world people are dicks”. I’d love to know where some of you are running into these people. Living where I live and working where I work, people are generally more conservative. I have never just shown my ring to anyone and only show it to those who ask. i know that some if the people who have seen it have to not like it. It’s not everyone’s taste and it’s large for the norm here. However, not one person has said anything remotely rude or negative. I feel lucky to not be running into some of the people many of you seem to be running into. 

Post # 72
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper

One thing I want to add because I feel strongly is that I think the only appropriate response to one showing a person their ring is for that person to say “beautiful, congrats!” or its equivalent. I think not responding or saying something rude is the mark of a person with no social skills or tact, and I would probably start avoiding said person. 

Post # 73
Member
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

There some big rings where I am like “Damn, I wouldn’t mind having a ring that looks iike that!” and then there are some big rings where I am like “nope, no me gusta!” 

It is more than just the size that would make me envious… Just because someone has a big ring doesn’t make everyone envious of it. 

Post # 74
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

View original reply
@BlondeMissMolly:  this!

 

While nobody can know what every rude person is thinking when they say something mean I think with women it often is jealousy or their own insecurity. Maybe they aren’t jealous of your ring but of you in general. Unfortunately furring the wedding/ engagement time lots of so called friends get jealous of all the attention on the bride. Either they are not engaged or their time has passed and they resent all of your happiness. Not always, but often. Sometimes you see a friends true colors at this time. It can be disappointing and ultimately end a friendship at a time you least expect it. Your real friends will be happy to sit back and let you have your moment in the sun.

Post # 75
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

Because most of the other potential explanations are not nearly so flattering.

And because sometimes negative statements really are made out of jealousy, it has a tempting potential kernal of truth to it.

I find though that people who are spending a lot of time thinking about what others are thinking of them, and whether those others are “just jealous” or not, tend to be unhappy. I think it’s good to get very comfortable with the idea that while some criticism is deserved due to ethical issues, and some arises out of jealousy, some people will just not like you/your taste/your kid’s name/your ring/your whatever, and hey, life goes on!

Post # 76
Member
7761 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

View original reply
@BlondeMissMolly:  I completely agree.

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