(Closed) Why does it matter??

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@Steph18:  Sometimes it’s just to attempt to get a better grasp on the situation and what the mindset may be at that age (if it’s younger) it’s not always meant to be negative.

Post # 4
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I guess they’re just trying to give advice at where they were at that age in case they are older than the OP? Also, they’re probably trying to get the whole picture of the situation. 

ETA: Also I don’t think anyone means it in a negative way, at least I hope they don’t.

Post # 5
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It does matter. Stage of life, how much life you have lived will change your views on certain things. stereotypes exist because they are based on %s and generalities. No its not true for everyone all the time, but it will give someone an idea of a situation. Yes, the younger you are will likely mean you have had fewer long term relationships and therefore have less experience. It may mean that you find things important, that someone who is 40 doesnt find important. 

It will also give a perspective if you have 20 or 2 years left of fertility.

It matters because it can be an indicator of many things.

Post # 9
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Sometimes, it really does depend. A woman in her 30s or 40s can’t afford to wait as long if she wants to have kids AND it’s really not normal for men that age to be unsure about whether they want to be married at some point or to be prolonging their bachelorhood because they just aren’t ready to grow up, but at 19, you can be asking a lot of a guy (and of yourself) to think that getting married soon or having a kid soon is absolutely critical. Those two people are literally–biologically and emotionally–still growing up!

Post # 10
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Steph18:  Sure, and you can. I am a girl. You would be more likely to be right if you guessed I liked heels, wore pink, cried at Titanic because you are making “judgements” based on %’s. You are more likely to be right with a female, than a male.

Judgements is part of life. And they dont have to be negative. Its how we gather information and make a decision. You observe common situations around you and use them to your advantage when put in a new situation because all the information will not be available to you so you have to make assumptions/judgements based on available information. In these cases its age. 

 

Post # 12
Member
9918 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

If a girl is 18 and complaining that her boyfriend of three years hasn’t proposed, I am not even going to respond.  If a woman is 30 and has been waiting for five years, I’m more likely to respond.  

Although…I think all those “waiting” bees shouldn’t torture themselves with this site.  If I had known about this when I was waiting it would have driven me crazy.

Post # 14
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mrsSonthebeach:  +1 

I’m 25 and fi is 30. It has a lot to do with our mindset about getting married. If I was 30 it would be different, just like it would have been different at 20. It isn’t always negative, but relying on typical assumptions and stereotypes, your judgements about my age and marriage would likely be true.

Post # 15
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@Steph18:  Legal age does not mean you are fully an adult, and if you think it does, then you need some more life experiences. Most 18 year olds think they are fully mature, when they are not. We have the luxury of being able to wait to wed now (as women… men already had that luxury) until we actually know ourselves. As someone who got married once too young, I fully, wholeheartedly believe it is a real risk. Many young people are ready to get married young, but if one partner isn’t, that’s pretty understandable in youth, but less so as you age. Plus, when you’re young, that guy is still very likely to come around, but if you meet someone who is 35 or 40 or something and isn’t sure if he wants to get married ever, you could seriously be wasting your time waiting around. You can risk it when you are younger.

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