(Closed) Why does it seem to be everyone business that I'm not engaged yet?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I get this all the time as well, so you are not alone. The town I live in is quite small and everyone seems to want to be involved in everyone’s business. A lot of people get married young and we just want to make sure this is right.

It makes me crazy how many people constantly feel the need to question the decisions he and I are making.

Post # 4
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

If I were in your situation I’d be annoyed too! It’s really no one else’s business at all. I’m in graduate school now and planning a wedding and it’s tough! Just stress to people that you and your fiance will take that step when you’re both ready. 

Post # 5
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It’s because 8 years is a long time… My Fiance and I were together for 6 years before we got engaged. So I heard plenty of it while we were dating… Now it’s why are you waiting so long to get married?!

There is nothing you can do about it. I know it sucks and it’s annoying but that’s just how people are.

It’s great that you are taking your time and not rushing into it.

Post # 6
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

People think they know more about your life than you do.  Fiance and I got engaged at almost 7 years and I constantly got the crap with “what is his problem” “you need to dump him” and the like.  I think the worst was when a friend who went from dating to engaged in less than a year proceeded to tell me that I needed to dump him, because she knew he would never propose (well who asked her?).

I got to the point where when people would start and ask why we weren’t engaged, I would respond with something about how we didn’t feel complelled to adhere to anyone’s timeline but our own.  It shut them up, but I did seem a little snippy unless I said it with a smile and a casual attitude (even if it did drive me nuts).

 

Post # 7
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

sorry dear, after that it’ll be everybody’s business as to when you’re getting married, and then when you’ll have your first child .. and then it’ll be everybody’s business again as to when you’ll have your second etc. etc.

People just need to gtfo lol

Post # 9
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

People do this to us too. Almost 6 years and it’s always a question asked when they either a. find out how long we’ve been together, or b. haven’t seen us in a while. Annoying, isn’t it.

Post # 10
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@mohbestie:  I had to tell everybody to back the @#$% off the baby questions before they did. they were asking two weeks into my marriage. TWO WEEKS!

Post # 11
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I must echo PP’s in saying that once you are married, the “when are you having babies” (or “When are you giving me grandkids,” thanks Mother-In-Law for asking me that every single time I see you) will be even worse.  It almost makes me wish I waited to get married until I was 28 or so (I’m 25 now but got married when I was 23) because it’s so annoying. 

Post # 12
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

The worst is at weddings, don’t you think? I dread going to weddings now (even though I love them!) because every single married person there turns to me and says “so are you next?” or even worse “don’t worry, your time will come”. Did I ask for your opinion or advice? Did I look like I was going to break down and cry about not being married? No! I was happily enjoying a beautiful wedding! Arg. So annoying. I usually just smile and say something like we’ll get there when we get there.

Post # 13
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mohbestie:  Just simply tell them that the 2 of you are quite young and not yet ready for marriage at the moment. 

You could always start telling people that can’t mind their own business, that you decided to join the convent and become a nun instead of ever marrying! That would shut them up.

Post # 14
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@LuckyinLove17:  a common joke was that because the elderly ones are always asking “are you next? are you next?” at weddings, you ask them “Are you next? are you next?” at funerals.

Post # 16
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@strawbs:  Hahaha I have heard that one strawbs and have been tempted to use it! What is also super annoying are when single people ask us when we are getting married. That I really don’t get. There is nothing wrong with being single and I would never say to them “well when are you going to find a boyfriend?”. Althought maybe I should start…lol

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