(Closed) Why does my mother balk at me flying home?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Before I got to the end I was thinking maybe it’s just reality setting in that your dad’s health is really getting that terrible. But then I got to the end and all I could say was “WOW.”

Post # 6
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m so sorry you have to deal with losing your dad πŸ™  Maybe your mom is just having a hard time coming to terms with what’s happening, and not dealing with it very well?  Maybe she is lashing out because there is nobody else to blame?  It’s not fair, it’s certainly not right, but maybe this has just been too much for her.

Maybe not, maybe she is just cray-cray, but I’m one of those “benefit of the doubt” people. 

Either way, I’m sending you BIG WARM WEBERNET HUGS!!!!!!

Post # 8
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Yikes, wow. I am so sorry πŸ™

Post # 9
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@sienna76:  Wow at your crazy mother! πŸ™

ETA: I think I sent my hugs last time you mentioned your dad, but just in case I didn’t… ((hugs)).

Post # 10
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

She may be havving severe deppressive issues stemming from your father’s death, i’d cut her some temporary slack. When my grandmother died, my entire extended family became a hot bed of crazy irrational behavior. Not fun…but also not your fault!

Post # 12
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

oh. my. god.  YOU JUST DESCRIBED MY OWN MOTHER.  My dad is declining too (waiting for a transplant)…and my mom acts NUTS sometimes.  She does the whole suicide talk thing too.  IT MAKES IT SOOO MUCH HARDER.  I wish our mothers knew that.  It is bad enough to watch your dad decline, but to have to deal with the stress your mom puts on you when she says crap like that…..UGH.  I am so sorry you are dealing with that.  Truely.  Just ignore what she says, and visit as much as you can.  Not sure why some insecure people feel jealous of the attention given to someone who is dying.  just can’t wrap my head around that.  πŸ™  hugs.

Post # 13
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

To be fair, her husband is dying. Surely she is not in a completely stable state of mind. Why do you automatically assume that her sucidal thoughts and acting out is because she’s self-centered and trying to get attention? Maybe she’s actually just depressed over the fact that her husband is dying? I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt and cut her some slack.

I’m sorry you and your family are going through such a difficult time. πŸ™

Post # 14
Member
3776 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

This is insane.  Being a wife and a mother, the only thing that could possibly comfort me during the dying process of my Darling Husband would be to have my children with me.  There is something wrong with her.  This is not normal.

Post # 15
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@MrsFuzzyFace:  But you have never actually been in that position so it’s ridiculous to say that it’s not normal.  And yeah, something is wrong with her.  Her freaking husband is dying!!!!  People cope with stuff differently and what might work for you doesn’t always work for others.

Post # 16
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

maybe she feels that, if you come home your dad will feel you are saying goodbye, and the end will be nearer?

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this!

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