for me im not having kids mostly because of PARENTS. Some parents dont know how to properly teach their children to behave, some parents DONT care if their parents behave. and theres no one on this board who hasnt been to a restaurant that was definately not “kid friendly” and been interrupted by some 4 year old tearing around the tables like a holy terror. thats not the kid’s fault, thats the PARENTS fault.
My father is a minister, and we grew up in the church, learning you DIDNT MAKE A PEEP – because alot of the time mom or dad were in the pulpit and were out of arms length so we had to learn to behave when it warranted. They were responsible about it.
true story, my mom was leading missionary day at church and actually saw me and my sister giggling and misbehaving around in the pews from the pulpit, she didnt break a sentence, just walked outof the pulpit still talking to come down into the pews and spank us both for misbehaving told us to sit like ladies and behave or else, and calmly went back into the pulpit. we didnt make a peep for the rest of the service. it was stuff like that that taught us that there is a time and place for everything.
that being said, i know kids learn how to behave by BEING in certain situations and learning how others act, but quite frankly after i have paid thousands of dollars for my wedding and my day (not to mention an expensive videographer) i dont want MY wedding to be the practice.
i get kids misbehave, i get that they are people and will express themselves and be noisy and etc. but its also my choice to try and control my environment as much as possible because i am paying for it.
so if i choose to ask my guests to keep their children at home for MY peace of mind, please accept that its not that i “hate” children, or am self absorbed because i cant “get over” having a kid running around acting bad, its because i PAID FOR MY DAY, have a vision for my day, and it doesnt include those things. if the parents cant accept that, then fine, no problem, not a judgement on the parents relationship with me and FH, they can just stay at home.
i just get annoyed when parents try and pressure me into having children because they KNOW their little angel is perfect. um. no one is perfect. and no kids at wedding.
oh and for the 18 vs 21 thing – if we have people UNDER the age of 21, we have to pay extra for someone to monitor the alcohol intake and pay for insurance if someone underage drinks etc. so while i consider someone an adult after 18, for the purpose of the wedding its 21 and up (like a club…)
i think people take this way too personally. wedding invitations are just that, invitations. you arent obligated to come. so if you dont like the no kids policy, just dont go, but dont judge people because they arent having kids at the wedding.