(Closed) Why does no one tell you about the post wedding blues?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Did you get the post wedding blues?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 47
    Member
    8434 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Nope, i haven’t had the chance to have any “wedding blues” lol.  The day after my wedding weekend, my house flooded so that took about 9 weeks to get fixed.  Then, right after that, my friend asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor, so I’m back to wedding crafting.  I’m also going to help out with DIY for another friend’s wedding Oct.  I’m betting after this is all over, I won’t missing anything wedding one bit lol.

    Post # 48
    Member
    255 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Aalia:  Before my wedding I only heard one person mention the post wedding blues, and that was my coworker. I didn’t get them but I did deal with depression briefly aftet the wedding for different reasons. First of all I got sick AND got my period the week after our honeymoon, and secondly I was homesick after moving several states away from where I was born and raised. So that was my down in the dumps period after the wedding. I loved my wedding and it was even better than I expected, but I’m happy to be moving forward.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1721 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

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    @leecy87:  PM me if you have any questions about OKC!

    Post # 50
    Member
    3339 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    I got the post-wedding blues, but it was delayed to about a month after the wedding.  I don’t know what happened.  I think it was my body finally trying to reach equilibrium after all the stress and excitement.  I spent a solid week being really sad and crying and then totally got over it.  LOL!  It was definitely weird and unexpected.  Wish someone would have warned me!

    Post # 51
    Member
    1606 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I’m already feeling the post-wedding blues and it hasnt even happened yet ha. I LOVE planning parties more than I love actually being at them, so now that we’re getting so close to the date I’m already thinking of the NEXT party I’m going to plan after them wedding (I’m insane.)

    I hope to offset the blues by planning our honeymoon too- we’re going next year because I don’t get a ton of vaca days and we want to take a 3 week trip, so that will give me something else to look forward to.  Or meltdown over. Whatever ha.

    Post # 53
    Member
    3400 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Yep, I definitely got them. They lasted strongly for about 2 weeks, & they are now fading away.

    However, my day wasn’t perfect. There are a lot of little things that I regret & will now never have the chance to fix. I also realize how that it was difficult to plan, because I had zero planning help from anybody else, & growing up without a mother meant I didn’t get help in that way either.

    I’ve definitely channelled by energy into helping other brides here, particularly with logistics such as timelines & the little details of logistics that as the bride you sometimes don’t think of.

    I think when the pro pics come back & they look beautiful (please pleaseee look beautiful!) a lot of my blues will disappear because in the end that is what I will have to hold onto forever.

    Post # 54
    Member
    4654 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Mostly I’m just relieved it’s over and went well, and happy to be married.

    BUT.

    I am sort of coming down from an absolutely incredible outpouring of love and support from outside – people flying hundreds or thousands of miles just to see us get married and hang out with us, sometimes for the first time in years, everyone wanting to help us and be there for us.

    I planned from abroad and am kind of independent… I never expected everyone to care so much. I generally assumed nobody is THAT into my wedding but me, so I tried during planning not to bring it up or harp on it or talk about it or ask people to do things too much… but I was so wrong, everyone was all about it!

    So that unsolicited rock-star treatment was kind of overwhelmingly amazing. Plus it was the first time I’d been back to my home in the US in a year and a half, first time I saw family and friends in that time, had a real hoagie, etc… and I’m a little sad that the trip is over, and a little homesick for some of the things I barely got to enjoy before it was time to leave again.

    Between the pampering, my marriage!feels (mosly good but also occasionally overwhelming), the end of a long-awaited vacation to the US/homesickness, and some really intense jetlag, I am feeling kind of down and jumbled. But not because I want to go back in time or anything. I had so much anxiety before the wedding, it was amazing and perfect but I’m happy it’s in my memories now and I don’t have to worry about it anymore.

    So I have more… post-vacation-homesick-family-reunion-jetlag blues, than post-wedding-blues. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    4687 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

    I got it pretty bad but not because the day was perfect…. but because I was sad the planning and high expectations were over. I do not do well with change and for 16 months I was in a pattern of planning and nervous excitement. Then POOF all gone. Iwas pretty down on my honeymoon :/

    Post # 56
    Member
    70 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    No way! I’m SO glad I never have to go through all that planning and stress again. I was so ready to move on with my life and my husband.

    Post # 57
    Member
    2374 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @Aalia:  yea i can relate, i wasnt too bad but was def a bit unsettled that it was all over and never to be done again ๐Ÿ™ its so sad to think that! cos generally even if say, god forbid, someone was to get a divorce i dont think a second wedding is ever as big? obviously exceptions to the rule though. but yea it sucks its only a day – so much planning, it consumes you then its gone in a heart beat.

    now comes babies! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Post # 58
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Yes I was totally not prepared for the “post wedding blues”. I mean our wedding went well and to plan considering it rained terribly and we did not get the pictures outside that we wanted. After a year and a half of solid planning and this one day occupying all of our time, I was not prepared for how we would feel the next day. On the day of our wedding, we hired out a great hotel with views of central park only to have fog, mist and rain ruin our views…erk! The day after our wedding was a perfect glorious day with perfect views of central park! Friends and family flew into NY from all over (Australia, UK, Spain, HK, etc.,) the week before. We were so run off our feet dealing with wedding preparations, family getting settled in and everything else, we had little time appreciate our time with family and friends. The wedding went well enough in the evening but the next morning when I put my dress away for the last time and I could finally could see central park from our window and had brunch with the family, I realized it was over and all of my family were flying out the next day. Really felt a real sense of loss. It took a while to adjust after returning from our honeymoon, post wedding clean up, thank you cards, etc. I still look at our wedding pictures and wish we could go back as a third person to really experience all the details. The wedding video really helps though. Would highly recommend to get this. As hard as you try to take it all in, its like an outer body experience with a lot going on. I mean we both barely ate or drank on our wedding day and there was a lot of activity, etc. 

    The good news is that you will eventually move on and focus on new adventures (whether it be travel, new house, kids/family, etc). Takes a while though. Hang in there ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 59
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

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    @MrsSkeletonKey:  Loved your prospective. So true!

    Post # 60
    Member
    1145 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    i’m not married as yet but I remember when I gradated from high school, I felt like a celebrity. After I collected my diploma, there were a lot of folks at the end of the stage taking my picture and then our ball (prom) was the same evening as well as an after-party me and my girls planned. That too made me feel great! The day after was dry.

     

    I remember I was trying to figure out when another day like that was going to happen and my future wedding came to mind. I promised myself that I would have to make a lot of time pass by before that comes since there would be no more spotlight events for me. 

     

    Before this post I had no idea that this was real for other brides.

    After the wedding, I would be moving in with my SO as well as opening gifts. Hopefully this would fill in the gap.

     

    Post # 61
    Member
    3400 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

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    @tiff-tiff-tiff:  Just be prepared the sob uncontrollably through gift opening though.

    I, too, thought it would be a fun after-the-wedding activity to indulge in, but when you are opening them (& the sentimental card) it sort of seems like with each rip of the wrapping paper, you are tearing away the final bits of your wedding day.

    I’m such a debbie downer, but hopefully you will be more prepared for those feelings if they do come since somebody is warning you.

    Perhaps open them with a glass of wine, and in the morning before you have something else to do that day that you are looking forward to. 

    We opened our gifts stone cold sober at midnight 2 days after the wedding, & boy, did we do *that* all wrong lol.

     

     

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