Post # 1
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
He didn’t even want to tell me but I pulled it out of him, lol! We ordered my ring about a month ago. It’s a .95 carat equivalent Morganite solitire. Some back story: Two years ago, the budget was $1000 (I set that, I’m not into big rings, don’t care about the 4 c’s…etc) For me the ring is a symbol that he is ready to let the world know he wants to be with me for this lifetime. I also know our finances and would rather have a home and such instead of a huge ring. Anyways….fast forward through a pregnancy, 5 months of bedrest and an impending career change for me, he has stopped work with his dad’s trucking company to care for me and now to help me with the little one as I am not fully recovered (bedrest kicks your ass!) So naturally his income is scaled back to one day of work per week and the ring budget dropped to $100 after I found a nice, dainty, morganite ring. I willingly did that because I want him to know that it is not about the cost/size of the ring. It is about the commitent, the vows before God, the promise to our son to be the family we talked about before we were blessed with him-for which I told him I didn’t even need a ring. My BFs mom used to say you don’t need a ring to be married, a JOP wedding is fine, etc etc….she doesn’t even wear a ring! A few weeks ago she offered to give us $3000 for a wedding….which is great bc I wasn’t planning to spend more than that…even when we were making $4000.00/month combined. So yesterday my mom brought him the ring (delivered to her house) and he decided to give it to his mom for safe keeping (aka tourturing me until he is ready to propose). He said she asked, “why does she want such a cheap ring?” Followed by, “why doesn’t she want a diamond?” He explained to her that I like morganite and I wanted a stone that was truely rare (It’s a Mozambique stone, the mine is closed…has been for 21 months. Diamonds are mined everyday.) I actually really want a Tanzanite piece because it will be mined out of existance in a few decades and its my birthstone but I felt Morganite was appropriate, being the love stone and all. I just hate that she said that to him! We have been together for almost 9 years and he at times feels horrible that he isn’t as well of as he would like, even though our current situation is temporary. We had to blow through our savings but we will recover, I’m sure. He has even asked her to do the paperwork/invoicing for the business and she told him to, “Find another way to make the money.” WTF!? So how dare you critize! ARGH!! Okay…rant over…
Post # 3
Member
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@MrsKady: *HUGS* I personally love non diamond engagement rings. It’s great that your relationship with your Fiance is strong enough that you don’t need some materialistic symbol to validate it; I think that makes your ring priceless 🙂
Post # 4
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee
I think that is pretty sad that his mother, knowing the financial straits you are all in right now, would dare make such a petty comment regarding your ring! She should be OVER THE MOON that her son’s future wife is so money smart to put their finances above an engagement ring! Morganite is a very popular stone right now for engagement rings, and not every engagement ring has to be a diamond (mine isn’t!)
Some people just don’t get it that its not about putting 2-3 months salary into a ring, its the commitment and the love that makes it important. I think you all have your heads in the right place, I hope his mom comes around on that! *hugs*
Post # 6
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
I am with you on the bedrest! I had about 4 months of it myself; it totally kicks your arse! You do not think it will affect you that much until you have to do it, whew!
As for your ring; Morganite is sweet and beautiful. I have Moissanite, and I love it. We want what we want, and if people think it is cheap, boo sucks to them!
Post # 7
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
@housebee: <3 Thank you!
@PeachSnapple: I would hope so. But I doubt it. I remember when we were looking at a ring that was $650 and his dad said the same thing. They always seem to be about having the finer things, regardless of what the real budget is… I’m mean, I like nice things too but I don’t need them to be happy. I’d rather spend $2000 on vacation making memories than wear $2000. Even if he did give me a diamond, or a piece of lint on a string I would accept it because he wants ME as his wife. I know it really doesnt matter what anyone else thinks but it stings to know that was said and I know my Boyfriend or Best Friend actually cares about the ring (size, price, etc)…but he is *kinda* materialistic, lol…might even been the groomzilla type. I’m sure his mom is gonna fall out when she finds out I’ve been getting vases from goodwill and plan on making paper flowers on twigs >_< haha!
Post # 8
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
@MrsKady: I’m sort of in the same boat. My ring was on sale when we bought it, and I only have a diamond because he insisted. I’m worried about what his family is going to say, even though he and I love the ring. His family is fairly well to do, and mine is …well..so very much not. LOL
Guess I’ll have to see what they say when he finally proposes.
Post # 9
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
@Schrodingers-Car: LOL! You are right…we want what we want. I want my ‘cheap’ ring and I want her to zip it! HA!
Post # 10
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
@PeachSnapple: Absolutely agree.
@MrsKady: Hey, congratulations on your relationship. And on your BABY, for goodness sake. And once you have it, you should spoil us with a pic of your gorgeous ring 🙂
Post # 11
Hostess
3769 posts
Honey bee
Sometimes the easiest thing to do is also the hardest: just ignore it. It was crappy and not cool on her part to say that, but whatever, it has nothing to do with the love you share with your SO.
Post # 12
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper
@MrsKady: I get the impression that his parents are not very good at budgeting/finances in general. I wouldn’t read much more into it than that. The major concern I’d have is….have his parents saved for retirement? Because with the kind of lack of understanding they seem to be showing, I’d be worried that they aren’t anywhere near ready.
Post # 13
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
@aithinne: I have that same fear… especially about the wedding actually. I want something simple and easy, nothing pretentious…the only spurlge is the photog ($1600). But I’m about making memories and capuring them so to me its worth it. I want to look beautiful for him so I hunted a pronovias gown and got it for a ridiculous steal…like 80% off, new with tags. Those things are more important. He can always buy me whatever he wants later on in life, and if he doesnt, oh well. I want a life together, blessed by God and to be an example of a working, healthy relationship for our son and any future children if we are so blessed. I want to fill the walls of our future home with pictures of our love. It is easy to say everyone else can choke on that…but I can’t help but wonder why they can’t just respect our decisions…le sigh!
Post # 14
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
@wideeyes: Thank you! I wuv him <3. And I will definitely share pics!!
@MmeSilverBullet: I’m trying…trying hard. When my Boyfriend or Best Friend told me, I wasn’t surprised actually. People usually question whats out of the “norm” I’m just realizing now that it sure does sting…lol! And I needed to get the rant out 😛
@joya_aspera: Oh my…where did you get that crystal ball 😉
Post # 15
Member
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@MrsKady: Sorry she said that but sadly many women are brainwashed that if it isn’t a diamond its not legit. Great marketing snowjob that they pulled. By The Way tanzanite is one of my favorite stones as well.
Post # 16
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
@joya_aspera: And we were young and stupid…credit reflects it. I know where we want to be and what we want to give our son. We were getting on track until the 5 month bedrest hiccup….which is now a 10 month hiccup but I vowed to make all necessary sacifices to be on track and in the positive financially within 5 years. We have great examples of what not to do…it’s just so hard to take the criticisms and wonky advice with a nod and a smile… I’ll get there though.
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