(Closed) Why does the bride & groom have to buy gifts?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think it’s just supposed to be a gesture thanking them for their love and support.

We just gave our parents a promise of an album later, so I think it works…

Post # 4
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

The gifts are purchased to thank those that are helping you with your wedding. Generally speaking, every member of your bridal party as well as parents and anyone participating in the wedding (readers, ushers, soloists, etc…) should receive some kind of token of thanks. 

Post # 5
Member
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t think you “have to”, especially if you don’t think think they’ll be expecting something. I bought the hair and makeup for my Mother-In-Law and SIL but that was more of a thank you for the bridal shower they threw for me. Same for my Maid/Matron of Honor, just as a nice gesture for her. We didn’t have a bridal party, didn’t get gifts for each other, and I’d never heard of getting gifts for parents.

Post # 6
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

We just got our parents a few souvenirs from our honeymoon and we also told them we would be gifting them with albums later. FOr Christmas we are going to give framed pictures of us and our parents from the wedding so I think they will love that. Parents usually arent too hard to please!

Post # 7
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

@SapphireSun:  I agree and said the same to my parents – they loved the album!

Post # 8
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

It’s not required and many couples don’t give parent gifts. Don’t feel obligated just because everyone else does something.

Post # 9
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

ehhh I was iffy as well

 

I know its a kind gesture, but not everyone has the best relationship with their parents like my FH

 

I just think a nice hug and couple gifcards would be fine… I mean unless someone went well out of their way to help you have the best day ever, then you should keep the gifting to a minimum

Post # 11
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@UpstateCait:  You told me in another post that gifts for the parents were a thank you for raising you…. which is it??   

What is the REAL ettiquette on this subject?  Anyone know?  I will state again…his parents and my dad have done NOTHING for the wedding…they have barely acted excited for the event….my mother on the other hand has flown out to NC several times to work on wedding stuff with me, is buying my sister’s bridesmaids dresses, airline tickets and hotel rooms….so she of course will receive a nice gift…what about my dad…WHO COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THE WEDDING~!?

Post # 12
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think it’s required UNLESS your parents are paying for your whole wedding. Then it’s nice to get them something. You can even get them a nice card with some warm loving words and that would be okay. Just because one couple spends $100 gift on each an every member that’s part of their wedding doesn’t mean that you have to.

Post # 13
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Like so many things in the wedding process, to whom you give gifts and how much you should spend depends entirely on your personality and budget, your relationship with those helping you out (or not helping you out), and what potential gift receivers may expect from you.

@jenroh1984–clearly you do not have a great relationship with your father and future in-laws. I think it is fine to give your mother a gift and not give anything to the others. Just do it privately and not as a public snub to those who “have done NOTHING for the wedding.” Posts about giving parents gifts in return for helping with the wedding or as a thank-you for raising you are based on someone with interested, loving parents, which you apparently do not have across the board. You are never required to give a gift to anyone.

For me, my parents are paying for the wedding. They are very low-key, modest people and would be embarrased by an expensive gift. So I will keep it small, and it will be a token of our affection, and honestly, my tangible “thank-you” for loving and accepting my fiance into the family.

My fiance has a rockier relationship with his two sets of parents (they are divorced, and both have remarried). I will ask him if he wishes to get them something beyond copies of photos after the wedding.

At any rate, any gifts given will be given privately.

So it is really up to you. Any etiquette “rules” that exist are broken and adjusted every day by modern couples.

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