(Closed) Why does the state need to "grant" you a marriage license after 3 days?

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee

Not sure if I’m understanding your question, but a marriage is a legal contract. Without the license you can have a marriage ceremony and wedding, but it won’t be recognized as a legal marriage by the state. Some states have a waiting period; MA is one of them. 

Post # 4
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Like PP said, marriage is a legally binding agreement. States/counties have the responsibility of granting you the legal rights of a spouse, and maintaining marital records (and denying people from entering illegal unions, like for example if they’re already married or if the two parties are too closely related biologically). I think there’s a distinct difference between marriage in a religious sense, and marriage in a legal sense which is where people get confused. You can be married in your church, and married under God but if you want to have rights as a spouse (like to make medical decisions on their behalf) you also need to go through the state

Post # 5
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I got married in MA too and assumed the waiting period was some sort of archaic enforced “cool-down,” to discourage people from too rashly entering into a marriage contract.  That was just my assumption though.

Post # 6
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2027

Because the government has to control everything in our lives, and to be considered “legally” married, you have to do it. 

Unfortunate for those of us who feel that we are married without it. 

View original reply
kooshball5 :  I have always said it was crazy that here in South Carolina, at least, you only have to wait 24 hours for a marriage license and 1 year for a divorce. It should be the other way around. 

Post # 7
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee

I think the waiting period is to avoid any drunken “hey, lets get married” situations and the like.

Post # 9
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
headoverboots :  It’s all well and good to consider yourself married without the paperwork, but yes, in order to be “legally” married and glean all the state-based benefits from that, you have to register your marriage with the state.  This is not a case of “the government has to control everyting in our lives,” it’s simple logic.

Post # 10
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee

The government has to control everything in our lives?? WTF? It’s a legal contract, with implications for taxes, property, medical decision making, etc. It would be weird if the government DIDN’T have something to do with this. 

And it’s no different than anything else – DMV, registering your car, etc. Forms, paperwork, waiting, etc. I don’t see what the big deal is.

Post # 11
Member
9210 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
mamamia23 :  I believe they do run a check to make sure you aren’t already married since polygamy is illegal, but really it only takes a few minutes. We also got married in MA and we just went to city hall, filled out the paperwork together, and then a few days later my husband went back and picked up the license. Our clerk was an elderly lady who was adorably proud of the fact that our state’s form doesn’t have “bride” and “groom” anymore and that it’s “person A” and “person B” lol. She also chastised my husband for failing to fill out his “surname after marriage” line since he thought it was obvious it wasn’t changing (I did take his name), but she made zero assumptions. 

It is a legal contract and compared to licensing for other things it’s pretty easy and painless. 

Post # 12
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2027

View original reply
kooshball5 :  Actually, that is EXACTLY what it is. And a little common sense and history lesson would tell you just that. 

“For most of Western history, marriage was a private contract between two families. Until the 16th century, Christian churches accepted the validity of a marriage on the basis of a couple’s declarations. If two people claimed that they had exchanged marital vows—even without witnesses—the Catholic Church accepted that they were validly married”

“Marriage licenses have been required since 1639 in Massachusetts, with their use gradually expanding to other jurisdictions.”

And you even kind of proved my point in your post, if you want anything the governement will give you, then you have to follow their rules to do so.

The majority of it is to keep track, just like the census. It is all government and if you think otherwise, well, good luck!

 

View original reply
mamamia23 :  Individuals that align with the libertarian stance argue that marriage is a right, and that by allowing the state to exercise control over marriage, it falsely presupposes that we merely have the privilege, not the right, to marry.

Which is EXACTLY why, until last year, they were able to tell homosexuals they could not marry, and in the past outside your race. 

Post # 13
Member
1217 posts
Bumble bee

Marriage is a legally binding contract and under the law, you have a “cooling off” period where you can get out of the contract.

In fact, most businesses with contracts have this same period.  Most people don’t know that.  If you sign a contract to buy a car, for example, you can legally get out of it within the first 72 hours.  Most people don’t use that, but it’s technically there for your protection so that it gives you time to think over the ramifications of signing such a contract.  It is also to prevent someone from making a rash decision or being coerrced into entering a binding contract.

Post # 14
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
headoverboots :  …okay.  Is this not equivalent to, say, wanting to collect social security payouts without obtaining a SS number?

Post # 15
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2027

View original reply
kooshball5 :  Actually if you live your whole life thinking you are going to get SS, I assume you are no more than 40, then you are living in a state of denial anyway. Also, SS should not be a “means” to an end of sorts. I hope you have other contigencys to get you through in your old age. 

As far as actually having a SS, again just another way to be tracked. You HAVE to have it to get a job, right? You HAVE to have it to obtain any kind of borrowed money, right? You HAVE to have it to enroll in school, right? It is an identifier, plain and simple. And actually, Fiance and I are definitely considering giving up our SSN’s, which you can do, once our daughter is 18 and can use her own identifier to in her life. Being able to be tracked is not worth the $250 a month at 65. Probably more like 75 by the time we are there in 37 years. 

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