Post # 1
Okay. So tomorrow is my birthday, Alex has to work tomorrow though, so I made plans with him and some friends to go out tonight to a nice restaurant. Alex and clothes dont mix. Generally speaking he walks around in pants he’s had for 5 years and have holes on all over. His shirts are all baggy and shredded and faded.
But for Christmas last year I bought him some nice jeans, and he has two nice button down shirts that actually fit him. I asked if he would wear those. Sure he says.
He showed up to go in a white baggy shirt with the sleeves ripped off, baggy jean shorts and boots. All of us are all dressed up, and he looks like he just got done working on a farm.
To make matters worse its the first time he’ll be meeting one of my friends, who just moved here, and she’s very protective of me. I just want him to make a good impression on her.
I really want to not care what he’s wearing and just say “well if he likes it then oh well.” But I just CANT. I want him to look nice for once. I never get to go to nice places, this is the first time I’ve been to a fancy restaurant in years. I dont want to go with someone who looks like farm help! Ugh.
Post # 3
@allyfally: I know that looks are not supposed to matter, but they do. Would you show up to a job interview looking like farm help? NO.
Try telling him how much it would mean to you, and how important it is for him to wear his nice clothes when you go out, and make sure you sincerely tell him how nice he looks and how happy you are. If you pay special attention to him, hopefully he will start to get that it makes you so happy when he dresses appropriately.
If that won’t work, keep a “nice” outfit for him at your place (or in your car), so when he shows up dressed inappropriately, you can tell him to change (and assuming he would be uncomfortable when he realizes he’s severely underdressed, you would save him some embarrassment).
My Fiance used to do this, I guess he just grew out of it. But he showed up for a nice dinner wearing dress pants, nice shoes, and a ripped t-shirt with a giant logo on it several times before that.
Post # 4
My Fiance does this as well. I had to start going to his house first, picking out an outfit, and making sure he put it on. After a couple years he’s getting better, and now when I tell him we’re going somewhere he says “So i’m guessing I have to wear nice jeans, right? Not basketball shorts? Button down shirt? Can I at least wear tennis shoes?” He’s starting to get it…
Post # 5
My FI’s the same way. My way of getting around it is to say “you should wear a collared shirt” for some reason he GETS when I say that it means needs to wear something nicer (plus it rules out any kind of Tshirt) but he doesn’t get offended –
Post # 6
My Fiance sometimes talks as if he wants to act like this, and I give him that look >_>… hell naw. all I can say is that all of you ladies are very nice, and very patient.
@allyfally: There is NOTHING wrong with expecting your hubby to be an appropriate +1 to you by dressing like an adult when the occasion calls for it, period. InaTizzy gave great advice, but I would step up the firmness a bit on this. Don’t act hesitant or unsure – let your man know what you want and expect on this one girl. Best of luck to you!
Post # 7
My Fiance just gets the death stare until he changes.. He dresses nicely most of the time, but I can’t stand him wearing his gym sneakers with jeans. He tries to get away with that one all the time. And cut off shirts.. hate those!!
But I agree, nothing wrong with being disappointed. He told you he would dress up and he didn’t. And you want him to make a good first impression. It’s understandable.
Post # 8
I did have a talk with him. He kind of turned it around to I shouldnt be so concerned with “shallow things.” Maybe thats true, but I cant help it. Its just who I am. I LIKE going places and looking good. He just cant understand that. He did offer to go home and change, but he walked here because his car is down and it just wasnt worth the hassle.
Post # 9
I personally don’t see anything wrong with jeans and sneakers BUT not for a nice dress up occasion. Nuh uh.