(Closed) Why doesn’t anybody care?

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you think it is too much to ask that my fiance be excited about wedding plans?
    Yes : (6 votes)
    11 %
    No : (15 votes)
    27 %
    He should, but don't expect it : (34 votes)
    62 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    6659 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    My Fiance is excited FOR me, but things like the dress don’t excite him. He knows how big a deal it is to me, so he plays along. And usually I have to appear visably stressed the heck out before he will actually listen to what I’m saying about say, the flowers.

    You can give Fiance jobs like picking the music, food etc. that might be more fun for him and will also make him realize how much effort goes into every little detail.

    Post # 18
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think it really really depends.

    Part of it depends on definitions.  Is it reasonable to ask that your friends and family spend half an hour to an hour every phone call for a year discussing wedding plans?  No.  Is it reasonable that friends and family will let you gush and be happy for you in occasional conversations?  Yes. 

    One of the things about weddings that is hard to realise is that they don’t change people, everyone you know remains the exact same person they have always been.  They are not going to suddenly start acting differently.  So if a friend is always supportive and loves to help out, they probably will do it with a wedding and if they aren’t then they probably won’t.

    Part of it depends on how you decided on having a wedding instead of city hall, was it a mutual decisions between you and Fiance or did one of you want it more?  If he wanted the wedding I think it is totally reasonable to expect him to do half the work. However things like you going to shop for a dress… I was excited to go dress shopping for me but when he went suit shopping… er, I mean I was happy for him and all but I can’t say I was excited, why would I be? it’s not happening to me, and I’m not sure how I’d express happiness/excitement, same for a friend that goes dress shopping, I’m happy for her but um, I’m not the one going so it’s not going to trigger my adrenaline the way my own trip did.  He should be willing to listen to you talk about it.  That’s just basic being a good partner, listening skills.  🙂

    Like anything, if you are going through a difficult time and you need support from your partner it is always reasonable to tell them about it. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    In my experience, people get excited only in the couple of months before the wedding. I see that you’re still a year out, and I think it’s common that only the bride is truly excited at that point based on other threads like this I’ve read.

    Don’t worry, people will get excited as the date comes nearer.

    The topic ‘Why doesn’t anybody care?’ is closed to new replies.

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