(Closed) Why don't girls propose more often ? Or have you? share your stories!!

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 31
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Fiance and I are very traditional in a lot of ways. We believe the husband is the head of the house and, in keeping with that belief, we both thought it was best for him to propose to me instead of the other way around.

I had a rule that I expected him to pay for the ring in cash and would not wear a financed ring- seems a little snobbish when I type it out but I promise you it’s not about money… For me, it was about having him show me that he could provide for me and would sacrifice for me. It took longer than I would have preferred for him to save up the money so I sat him down and told him I would only marry someone who was DYING to marry me the same way I was dying to marry him. I expected him to go crazy to save the money, the same way I had seen him go hard for other things that are important to him. Once I explained it that way, he really understood and jumped into action and we were engaged within months 🙂

While I was a waiting bee, it was really hard because it kind of messes with your head but, looking back, I’m so glad we took our time (3.5 years of datign) because we have such a solid foundation and confidence in our marriage. We know that we are in love but also share that lifetime real love, as well.

Post # 32
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee

Darling Husband told me early on not to propose because he wanted to. Back in the day, it was up to the man and unheard of for the woman to propose. Times have obviously changed, but I think a lot of men don’t want to let go of tradition.

It was his moment to plan. His chance to make things special and amazing and a moment we will always remember. I am going to get that chance too. When I tell him I’m pregnant, I will make it a special moment, an amazing day that we will always remember. 

My point is, if I had proposed, I feel like I would have taken it away from him. Every couple is different, and if your SO doesn’t mind you taking the lead then go for it.

Post # 33
Member
356 posts
Helper bee

I did!!  I had no problem with it and he even had the ring!  I pulled a Kate Hudson from “Bride Wars” and asked him why don’t we get married and he pulled the ring out of his hiding spot and gave it to me.  I’m more extroverted than he is so it would have taken him longer and I never had  a problem with beating him to the punch with the proposal!  We had a wonderful engagement and are very happily married. 🙂 

Congrats on taking the plunge and popping the question!!

Post # 34
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema

I kind of did. I chose my own ring – because he has no idea about jewellery, didn’t even know there is more than 1 colour of gold!
Anyway, I knew it had been ordered and was waitng…..and waiting….and waiting….we had talked marriage, he had bought the ring, why wasn’t it happening?!
Anyway, he was freaking out about trying to come up with the perfect proposal to make it special for me, and had no idea how to do it.

I had a big melt down one night and he suggested that I propose as the proposal itself meant more to me. I really bawled at this point – No! You’re supposed to do it! Wahhh! lol Not my finest moment!

Anyway, lying in bed that night, I realised that I was the one who wanted the perfect setting, so why no just create it myself…and also I get to do something special for the man I love.

Two nights later he was out of town for squash and expected home at midnight. We live in our DVD store, so after closing, I laid out a scavenger hunt where I placed clues in DVD cases of films special to our relationship. The final one directed him to go get the ring and join me in the bedroom – the path to which I had laid out with rose etals and tea lights. When he got there I had written a note on our blackboard wall “Richard..J***S******, will you do me the great honour of proposing” And he did and we all lived happilly ever after. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years ago by  MissBettsy.
Post # 36
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I’m not engaged yet, but my mom did propose to my dad! 

They found out she was pregnant and he proposed to her and she said no, absolutely not, a baby is a terrible reason to get married. He responded that was fine, but he wouldn’t ask ever again if she said no now. After they had my sister and things settled in, mom proposed because they had been together long enough to know that it wasn’t just for the baby. 

When I do get engaged, it will be a girl proposing, but that’s because we’re lesbians.

Post # 37
Member
328 posts
Helper bee

I proposed twice within the past 6 years and got turned down both times. His excuse was that he wanted to propose to me. Allegedly, he plans on doing it before we live together.

Post # 40
Member
287 posts
Helper bee

Technically I did, but didn’t get there first!

My Fiance already bought the ring in December (2013) and we were approaching July. Being an individual with highly strung moral compass I didn’t think it was fair that I got a special ring and proposal and he got squat in return, so I had already ordered a ring for him. We had a conversation and I basically asked why he hadn’t got round to proposing yet- he said it was because I had no annual leave to plan anything! I told him to get off his high horse and stated I didn’t care as it was a symbol he wanted me forever. I would be in pyjamas and still not care as long as he asked (although I did say no joke Haribo rings).

Basically he planned a surprise trip in August before we were going to visit our families. Needless to say he proposed in front of a lake with a picnic with my favourite drink and crisps! 

Funnily enough I actually took his engagement ring with me as I planned to propose to him on a visit to a nature reserve for his birthday after we had visited family. He thought he packed it in preparation for his proposal (as he put it on once I wore mine) and didn’t even know I had planned my own!  

When we travelling to his birthday surprise I asked for his ring back in the car, saying he couldn’t wear it until I had proposed to him. It didn’t take long though, as two hours later we were in the nature reserve and I proposed with a box of personalised M&Ms! Luckily he said yes 😉 

Post # 41
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

My Fiance and I made a mutual decision. We talked about marriage for years and then just decided that we would be getting married in September 2016. We’re planning to get a ring (to formalise the engagement) this weekend.

Post # 43
Member
287 posts
Helper bee

peppercosmo:  It definitely was a ‘sweet’ proposal!

Both our proposals were in August 2014. Those M&Ms are still on the shelf on display, as my Fiance doesn’t want to eat them. That’s £40 ($70?) worth of chocolate there I can’t get my mitts on.

It’s slightly frustrating when you are craving some chocolate after a hard day at work! 

Post # 44
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

peppercosmo:  The plan is a double functioning engagement and wedding band for me and basically whatever she’s up to for her. I’m super not a ring person, so the one ring will be more than enough for me.

Post # 45
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

So, I have been planning on proposing for several months – I think I would actually prefer it (he got the first kiss and date request in, which is uncharacteristic for me and deserves payback), but with my present delayed (damned customs), and my boyfriend wanting to get engaged with enough time to plan, we’ve kind of decided to do a joint date/proposal thing instead?

So instead we’re going for a fancy dinner, we both know we’ll be engaged after, we’ve been ring shopping, and I’m still going to make a card with a photo of his engagement present, which it looks like he’ll only get a few months later, sadly. Even though it’s more a joint ask, though, I realy love being involved in the process. It means, on a practical level, we’ve been able to both take time off work the next day so that we can enjoy it and call friends/relatives.

 

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