Post # 1
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
Just thinking about this today. We changed our status on Facebook to engaged and I literally got an outpouring of about 30+ people congratulating me. He got like ONE. And I have noticed this is a pattern…the girls get all the congrats and the guys don’t really as much. I asked my Fiance how his friends reacted to the news and he said they were just kind of nonchalant about it, like “oh, ok, you got engaged. ok.”. I felt kind of sad like, what, don’t they like me? But he told me that’s just how guys are.
What do you gals think?
Post # 3
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
Are you guys the first in your group of friends to get engaged? I think a lot of guys don’t realize what a big deal it is unless they are married or at least in a very serious relationship. That being said, my husband did get an equal amount of congratulations when we got engaged. His friends weren’t asking about dates and colors or anything like my friends were but they were genuinely happy for us and congratulated both of us.
Post # 4
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
Mine was the same… I got tons of comments, and my fi only got a few, and most of them were his family members. Guys just don’t get as excited about it as women do when someone gets engaged. Plus, he is the first of his friends to get engaged.
Post # 5
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper
Oh my goodness. I got congrats. My Fiance got “Ah we all gotta bite the bullet at some point.”
Post # 6
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
I feel like guys see it as more of being tied down, well at least that’s how I feel the single guys act towards it, especially when most of their friends are single.
Post # 7
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
@cherrycoke: yep, pretty much – Fiance got some congratulations but it was from just our very close friends who knew it was coming eventually. Guys see marriage as “two single people dying”, I don’t know many guys who are jumping at the bit to get engaged.
Post # 8
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
Yes – majority of FI’s good friends are single and still into the whole I’m-still-livin-it-up-as-a-bachelor life. Several are also younger than him or have no specific goals/direction in life. Most of my girlfriends are already on the engaged/married/kids boat. I guess that is probably why. I also do think for girls it is more of this lifelong goal we are groomed since childhood to want to attain and for men, like @SoontobeMrsA: said, it’s seen more as “well ya gotta man up and do it eventually”..
Post # 9
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
@arenyth: two single people dying – ha ha ha!
Post # 10
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
Same thing happened to Fiance and me. I was teasing him telling him that “More people like me becuase more people congratulated me.”
Post # 11
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
@cherrycoke: I agree. I think that’s a lot of it.
When we got engaged, I got SO many comments and poor Fiance didn’t get as many. A lot of his friends were very happy, but they didn’t really go out of their way to post stuff on facebook. Fiance was actually kinda bummed… I felt really bad about it too. It’s really not fair how much attention girls get, when in reality it’s about both of you as a couple.
Post # 12
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
Plus, if this is a facebook thing, it seems to me that WAY more girls comment on status’, etc on facebook. I know that my fi doesn’t leave comments, update his status, write on walls very often… so that could also be part of it!
Post # 13
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
@piglet_625: You read my mind 🙂
Post # 14
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
As far as FB congrats, we both had more women congratulating us than men. I also noticed that if a man did post his well wishes, they were typically over the age of 45. However, I think FH did have a few of his friends who are in their early 30s’, married w/kids who said congratulations.
Post # 15
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
Because we are guys. We are not going to jump up and down together talking about the story and the ring. I told my friend last night and he just said “congrats” and we continued talking about some computer stuff. We don’t gush over magazines, color schemes, favors, hairstyles, flowers, ect. That’s for the women. I just want to know how much things are going to be, what the food will taste like, how much alcohol will be there, and what I’m wearing.
Things I have done-Talked to the photographer.
Picked out my suit and shoes.
Agreed to a theme.
Done.
Post # 16
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
A friend of mine got more congrats than my Darling Husband did because he announced it on facebook in a more creative way.
His status:
(Name) liked it, so he put a ring on it.
