(Closed) Why Don’t People Respect the Registry?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree. Personal and/or thoughtful gifts are one thing, and perfectly acceptable in my opinion. But “I know better” gifts – think, “oh, they didn’t know enough to register for THIS, they’ll thank me later” are just plain misguided and disrespectful.

Post # 4
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I only had 1 person go off registry for me.  Is it possible that they are updating things on the registry so it doesn’t look empty?  Also, a lot of people wait until it’s almost time for the wedding to purchase gifts.

Post # 6
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Hear, hear! I’ve heard other people say that they purposely don’t look at the registry, and although I forget the reason they usually give, I remember never really understanding it. I’m really hoping that any gifts that aren’t on the registry come with a gift receipt! Not to be rude, it’s just that when a gift isn’t on the registry it’s because I either don’t need it or don’t want it. If that’s the case, I want to be able to return it! Of course, if I’m pleasantly surprised, that works, too. ๐Ÿ™‚

ETA: I meant reasons other than feeling that registries are confusing.

Post # 7
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m with hope1275 – Fiance and I registered for the things we want and need so unless its a personal, thought-out gift, I want to be able to return the random things we didn’t register for!

Post # 8
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I think there could be lots of reasons someone doesn’t go by the registry.  Maybe they can’t really afford the stuff.  (and while couple might put cheaper items on the registry, some guest might be embarrassed to have you know they only spent $20.  So they might find it easier to find a great deal of something on sale.  Ppl with limited budgets can be the best bargain hunters.)  Or perhaps they already have something special planned.  Or maybe having been around the block do know of something you’ll find useful.

But if people are disregarding the registry  because they feel like you’re items “suck”, that’s just wrong.  Personally, I hate putting brain power into looking for a gift.  I’m glad to just pick out something, the couple’s already selected.  Registries were made for ppl like me.

Post # 9
Member
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

As a guest,I feel no obligation to use the registry. A registry is supposed to be a WISH list,not a mandated gift list. A GIFT is something I choose to give someone and it should be of my choosing. A registry is supposed to make it easier for guests to buy something the couple will like or make suggestions about their taste, but nowhere is it stated that its disrespectful to shop elsewhere for someone. Who made that rule?

Post # 11
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I think any gift given is a very nice gesture. Not everyone wants to stand around a target printing off forms and touching the dirty touch screen before they go shopping.. Saying that you didn’t spend your time all day in a store picking out gifts for nothing is like a kid complaining that writing his list to Santa Claus was too cumbersome.

Post # 12
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - The Glen Manor House

The whole registry thing is proving really frustrating! One of my good friends just told me that it’s really “boring” to buy me what I have on my registry, and she’s just picking out other things because she has “taste”. It’s hopelessly aggrevating because Mr. Seashell and I put a lot of time and effort into creating a registry complete with things we genuinely need and will appreciate. Dare I say MY wedding registry is about ME? Ugh.

Post # 13
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I had a BUNCH of people go off our registry. I got bath products, wine holders and votives from Country Living, purple swirly bowls, and all kinds of weird stuff. I did get some goodies though, like a crystal bowl from a friend of mine, a GREAT margarita set from my Mother-In-Law, some spatulas and a great cookbook from someone else. What I couldn’t return I threw away. Sorry, it’s not my taste, I don’t need it, thanks try again. But if you don’t know me at ALL (the people who got me the weird stuff i’ve never met), please use the registry or just go with cash. Oh my favorite gift is a cake stand a good friend said she just HAD to get me. I love it so much it’s the centerpiece in my kitchen.

The ONLY time i go off the registry is when I know the person well enough to do so. Like i bought one of my good friends pink crystal riedel wine glasses instead of regular ones (in addition to a registry item). I bought another friend a personalized ring bowl (and something off her registry). But I don’t get why, if you’re going to spend $40, you don’t just get them something they NEED or write a check.

Oh i also got some 1980’s “fruit” corningware, and the cheap version of the crockpot I registered for. THAT was frustrating–there was a reason I wanted the $80 one, not the $15 one, you know?!!??!

Post # 14
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I always buy from the registry and I check them immediately when I get the invite to plan what I want to buy… like a dish and glassware set. I can’t handle buying w/o a theme. ๐Ÿ™‚ But yeah, if a couple or mom-to-be built a registry, then clearly it is items they want/need and will love. So, I don’t get why people go off it so much. I’ve only gone off it for friends… b/c I knew one wanted a white Coach wristlet and I got another a keepsake from Things Remembered.

Just before a shower or w/e… I may check again. I’ve never seen a registry go w/o more than 1/4 items purchased.

People claimed they didn’t even know there was a registry or know what one was… meanwhile its right on the invite. All you have to do is go online and type in their name. ๐Ÿ™‚ lol…IDK, but I do know that I won’t be wasting too much time on making my registry.

Post # 16
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Just an added thought… I wonder if it’s a generational gap thing? Perhaps the older generation doesn’t take into consideration how many couples are established before getting married in current time and may well have what are considered essentials? For instance, we will barely need any cook/bakeware or appliances… if a guest decided to buy us a stand mixer, we would be in a hard spot if they didn’t include the receipt, because we love ours and have had it for years. But once upon a time, I’m sure it was much more common to be fully stocking up the bride and groom whereas now it’s more filling in the gaps. 

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