(Closed) Why Don’t People Respect the Registry?

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 17
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Haha! This is so funny! I actually JUST bought a shower gift yesterday! I had to FORCE myself to pick something from the registry. I didn’t like anything from her list! We have VERY different tastes so for me buying something I didn’t like was hard, but I know she personally picked it out so she’ll love it. But that does make me think, maybe people just have a hard time buying things they don’t like? I can’t really explain it either, I know she wants it, she put it on a list, but I still feel like I’m going to arrive at this shower and all I have to show for it is a freakin teapot!

Post # 18
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I once went shopping with someone at the store where the couple was registered.  We printed out all the registry information.  The person wanted to buy them a different set of plates b.c she didn’t like the plates they selected.  I was able to talk her out of it, but I thought that was weird.

Post # 19
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Prncss- I believe in buying on the registry, but I do have a pet peeve about them as someone who is computer savvy… I can imagine this irritates older people who don’t really use the internet very much.  That is,  differing stores offer different customer service when it comes to finding a registry.  At Target for example, if you don’t know what you’ve come in there to buy already (printout at home)- you could set yourself on fire before you got any help.  I went recently on a day when the customer service line was a mile long.  No thanks.  In that situation, it would be very tempting to buy a small appliance and take my chances if I were already in the store.  People just don’t have time to lollygag around waiting for help.

Another reason people buy off the registry is that they end up at a store where the price point doesn’t make sense on the majority of items.  My Mom bought our B&G a set of glasses for their shower in addition to a setting of their China.  She bought the glasses off the registry because, in her opinion, the original set was too inexpensive to stand alone as a gift.  I find customer service at BB&B to be good, but again, the other day when we were setting up my daughter’s registry, I pulled up my son’s and it looks completely different in their printouts than it does online.  I thought my FDIL had tweaked it, but she had not.  (I stalk it almost every day so I know what it’s supposed to look like).  The in store copy did not show all the already purchased items… which is important if you are cross shopping.  Maybe that was a choice the consultant made in the printout- I don’t know.

I sat across the table from an older couple at Macy’s who were searching for a relative’s registry.  They wanted to drop some big money on her, but alas, she was not registered there.  They did not want to drive the extra miles to BB&B (they were in their late 80’s), so I suggested that they ask the saleslady to check BB&B online.  She did, and they bought something from her registry at Macy’s- which of course will not show up on her other registry as purchased. 

Another thing I see is folks suggesting that people shop online for items which are not in the store… registrywise.  Well, that is fine if you are computer savvy and think ahead. Most people don’t buy their gift until right before the event, so having too much “available online only” stuff will lessen the chance of receiving the item.  If a person gets to the store and finds out that the registry is full of that kind of stuff (after wrestling down some help), they will buy something off the registry and say, “Oh, well”.

Post # 21
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

PrncessDVA- I’m actually doing that! I bought a bunch of organic teas to put in there~ I still think its an ugly teapot though Tongue out

Post # 24
Member
13095 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@smyley – No one said it was a rule that you have to buy something off a registry; Many people just see it as more respectful of the bride and groom if you do.  Yes, it a WISH list, but when you’re just starting out and don’t own a lot of things, those wishes are much more NEEDS.  And when outfitting a kitchen for the first time, many couples (I know we did) would like their small appliances to match and things like that.  Plus – you don’t know the taste and decorating style of the couple.  Unless it is a personalized gift (which is fine and greatly appreciated if you know the couple well enough to do so), ignoring the registry is kind of a slap in the face to the B&G, saying I know what you need, want and like better than you do yourself.

Post # 26
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

No problem with buying off-registry, as long as you include a gift receipt with your gift 😉

Post # 27
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

 i got a ton of gift receipts (thankfully–i think it’s strange when people don’t include them. then i wonder where they got it!) but it was SUCH a pain to return such large and numerous items to BB&B, when i wasn’t registered there in the first place, then have store credit and have to cross reference with what was on my lists elsewhere to check off.

THe one thing i DID hear is that Macy’s is typically more expensive than other places for the SAME item. So people go “why spend $$$ here when I can spend $$ here for the same thing?” but if you ask Macys to price match, they will =]

Post # 29
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I personally hate registries. I’m thinking of not doing one just to see what people get. Because honestly; most are older and wiser. They do know what I need better than I do. And so many people already live together now adays that they don’t really need all the necessities anymore. For those couples who I know are just starting out and need essential things I will buy something on the registries. But for most others I try and put a little thought and effort into my gifts. If that makes me rude or is a slap in the face to the B&G then I guess I’m sorry. I think something that took longer than 5 minutes to pick off a piece of paper should represent more than disrespect. It actually takes time to put thought into a good gift.

Post # 30
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

If I DO know the couple well (and those are really the only showers/weddings I attend anyway) I also know what they have or don’t have and actually speak to someone (like a Mother or FI) before I buy something. I’m not randomly making purchases based on what I like. How silly would that be to do?

I spend more than a few hundred dollars on shower gifts for those I care about and if looking at a registry filled with everything priced over $500. or under $30., I may do a joint gift with one of my sisters on a more expensive item or buy several things in the cheaper range. I just think registries have their place and use for some things, but can also be used as a guide for purchases one wants to make. Why should I buy white towels at BB&B for $12. each when I can get the same ones for $5. at HomeGoods? This way,I’ll buy more! I feel better about giving a more involved/complete gift and have fun doing it,and the couple gets more than they wanted.

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