(Closed) Why Don’t People Respect the Registry?

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 62
28 posts

I have to say I agree with Pwitty, I love to bargain shop and will look for things not on the registry on sale, so that even on a modest budget, I can still give a nice gift.  I have never given a receipt with a wedding gift because I bought something so the couple would keep it and if you don’t like it, give it away.  Don’t complain about it, it just seems greedy.

Post # 63
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I hate to think of all the times I have bought something great for a couple that was not on their registry that the brides were sitting at home bitching about how rude it was for me to go off-registry. Sometimes this site is ridiculous.

Be grateful you have friends who love you enough to want to get you a gift.

Post # 64
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I cant help but smile a lil when i read this.

We just moved out in Dec and my grandparents gave us a great set of flatwear because my grandfather didnt think it was heavy enough. It was brand new and we loved it so we didnt register for any.  I just found out my FGMIL just got us a set off of QVC for the shower. What am I going to do with another set of flatwear? Its just the two of us in a one bedroom apt. we dont even go threw the 12 peice set we already have. Furthermore I would much rather have the hand mixer (that i need) on my registery which is the same price.

This is why people should shop off of the registery.

Post # 65
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

So, I think the moral of the story is: if you buy something off the registry you should give the couple a gift receipt along with the gift.


Is that not a reasonable compromise? It’s the thought that counts, not the gift, but at the same time do you really want the gift you put so much thought into to be given away to someone else or, worse, to have your memory attached to an unwanted (even if NOT unappreciated) gift?

To me, it’s totally ok to feel disappointed when you get a gift that you don’t particularly want or need. It’s your actions that count, not your feelings. Besides, anyone who says that they’ve never received a gift with which they were disappointed would be lying.

Now, if you’re disappointed in the gift and are rude about it, that’s a totally different story!

Post # 66
4 posts
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wow, I would have never thought that people would be turned off from buying something off the registry, but in my opinion it is always a good, thoughtful gift–I know I’ve spent a LOT of time going through product reviews and evaluating what we needed and were likely to use the most and choosing to put those items on the registry in a wide variety of price ranges.  Yes though, I actually do want that particular model of rice cooker rather than a random other rice cooker because I know you are spending some money on me and I want it to be something we will use, cherish, and is unlikely to break.  However, I do cringe a bit when I see some cheaper appliances on people’s registries, just because I know that they are likely to break within a year or two (from experience a $10 blender usually doesn’t last very long, etc.) and I would rather pay more money and get them something that will last.  In those cases, I just get something else off of their registries.  It isn’t a question of me thinking they have bad taste–I know in most cases they are trying to be considerate of their guests budgets while still getting some essential items they need.

We’ve only gotten one thing off the registry so far and it was just a bizarre experience.  A family member (love her, but goodness) called my mom to ask if we had a registry and throw out a gift idea of a set of antique plates or another set of plates she had seen.  While a nice thought, my mom explained to her that antique pink glass plates just aren’t our style, we live in a small apartment with no space already, we will be moving across the country in six months, and we already have a set of plates that we love since we’ve been living together three years, but if she wanted to get us something we had two registries set up with the few things we needed, or we would really appreciate a gift certificate to buy something after we moved.  So fast forward a few weeks later (before I knew about this conversation)… met up with the family member and she explained that she had no idea if we’d registered because she hadn’t talked to my mom (definitely a lie) so she had just bought these things for us.  They were HUGE metal candlesticks and a set of four plates that don’t match our style at all with no receipts or tags.  While I really do appreciate that she got us a gift, I feel like she didn’t really think about us as a couple or what our needs were and now we really have no choice but to sell them or give them away before we move.  I feel bad, but then again I just really don’t understand what was going on and why she asked about the registry, then ignored it, then chose to lie about it.

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