(Closed) Why don't you like bridal showers?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
  • poll: How did you feel about your shower(s)?
    I had one or more and had a great time! : (48 votes)
    48 %
    I had one or more and did not want to have it at all. : (15 votes)
    15 %
    I did not have one, but wish I had. : (1 votes)
    1 %
    I did not have one, because I did not want it at all. : (36 votes)
    36 %
  • Post # 3
    2952 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 1998

    @Itsallcomingtogether:  TBH I find them boring and gift grabby. They are just not my thing!

    Post # 4
    8382 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I had one and it was a pretty good time. Not exactly something I would want to repeat though.

    Post # 5
    5958 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @Itsallcomingtogether:  ….There were a few reasons that I did not have a shower, one of them being, we were engaged and married in two months, so there really wasnt time to organize it, and since our wedding boasted a 25 person guest list if you counted us, I thought it was inappropriate to put everyone out over such a small affair.

    Secondly, I have attended and hosted several…all of which were the equivalent of having my gums scraped…there’s always drama surrounding them, the bride is either about to freak out, just freaked out or in the throes of freaking out over something inane, like a guest that couldn’t make it, a member of her bridal party being late or too casually/inappropriatley dressed, that there aren’t enough people there or that the mints are the wrong color…seriously, it gets stupid.

    And since the guests only have one thing in common, HER…the awkwardness of getting these multigenerational women together in a relaxed setting everyone can enjoy is a behemouth effort of epic proportions…I usually just add champagne…either way, there’s this stale point the gathering reaches, where everyone is out of gas, they want to go home, but can’t…she’s still laughing, talking, opening gifts….meanwhile, the real people have laundry to do, places to get, homes to take care of…but we’re stuck…here…with you….dressed in toilet paper and writing marital advice on pink index cards…..as if anyone in the history of the Earth saved an ailing marriage by breaking one of those out at the last minute….

    Post # 6
    2481 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @Nona99:  Hell yes! And this wonderful account, in a nutshell, is why I regular bless the fact that the bridal shower remains a custom that has yet to cross the Atlantic. 

    Post # 7
    1541 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    @Nona99:  +1


    Post # 8
    4416 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I hate them too. I hate attending them, I hate hosting them, and I hated my own (sorry dear sister who hosted it for me; it’s not your fault!!). They are just so awkward! It’s like a little kid’s birthday party, but for adults. Everyone is mostly there out of obligation, pretending to enjoy themselves while they watch the bride open dull gift after dull gift. I imagine it could be different if you had a million friends there, but it never works out that way — it’s always a couple of your own friends, plus family, plus family friends, all of whom either don’t know each other or don’t like each other or have completely different senses of humor and ideas of what is and isn’t appropriate. Pulling teeth, for sure.

    Post # 9
    8695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I just had mine. I wasnt that excited about it but I think everyone had fun.


    – it was only 3 hours AND at a lounge overlooking the NYC skyline and the Hudson with open bar so I think that made it much better than the “tea party” snoozefests I’ve been to


    – I would never let someone have more than 1 for me bc they are kind of gift grabby


    – most of my friends and family know each other so it made it easier


    I will admit that I usually dread them and/or find an excuse not to go.

    ETA: I did NOT open my gifts there. 3 hours flew by and I was happy about that…


    Post # 10
    275 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Nona99:  Haha! That last line just killed me!

    “…as if anyone in the history of the Earth saved an ailing marriage by breaking one of those out at the last minute….”


    Post # 11
    567 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I enjoy them! I like the free food and the cheesy games and the socializing. I don’t like watching the bride open gifts. That part is boring and awkward, but I guess it’s traditionally the whole point of showers.

    Post # 12
    5958 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    …I would also like to quantify that the Bridal Freak Out in any of its forms is not a knock at brides at all…with everything they’ve got going, planned, have to get to….I think the shower or the bachelorette party often ends up being the straw that broke the camels back….because unless you’re a professional socialite, and mingling around with finger sandwiches is your job…all of these parties, engagements and gatherings start to wear on you….so sooner or later, you’re going to go to the zoo

    Post # 13
    9082 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I did not have one because I did not want it. I find them gift grabby.

    Post # 14
    9772 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Had someone at work or a friend surprised me with one I would have been gracious, but I don’t like the gift soliciting aspect or the kid birthday party open-your-presents-in-front-of-everyone else and let’s compare who gave you what.  For the most part, don’t like registries either. 

    Post # 15
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    1. We lived together for 2 years before getting married so we had plenty.

    2. We got married fairly quickly.

    3. 90% of the guest list for it lives 500 miles away.


    I was totes okay with not having one.

    Post # 16
    2555 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I find them boring. A party where thefocus is opening gifts? Awkward and uninteresting. Everybody faking excitement over a hand mixer… I don’t know, they’re painful

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