(Closed) Why don't you propose to him?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Would you ever propose to your boyfriend?

    Yes

    No

    Maybe

  • Post # 2
    Member
    169 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2017 - Northern Territory, Australia

    I voted no. Not because I wouldn’t but because he didn’t want me to.

    We had ‘asked’ each other before and knew we were both on the same page, but he wanted to officially ask me with a ring in hand. I respected that and let him. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    3273 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Formerly waiting, and no, never.

    1. He wanted to propose.

    2. He hadn’t yet proposed because he wasn’t ready.

    3. If he wasn’t ready, asking him would be a bad idea.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1739 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

     

    View original reply
    zarageo:  I voted no. I voted no because I’d still have to wait for the ring haha. Beyond that I wanted it to be in his hands because I know what I want and I’ve made it clear to him. He has to decide to make that leap. That’s why I’d never propose, I’d want to know that I didn’t push things along by asking. If I’d asked I would always wonder if he ever would have and if he actually would have had the balls to make it happen. Your situation worked out well, congrats.

    The point we are at now is nice. We’ve talked about getting married and decided that it’s happening, we’ve chosen our wedding date and the ring is in the process of being made. He told me that he’d like to propose formally after asking my Dad’s. So I’m waiting (impatiently) because things take time and he wants it to be a surprise, but I know where things are going.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2456 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2015 - City, State

    No, I wouldn’t even consider it as far as my relationship is concerned. I know my SO is going to propose and he wants to be the one to do it. 

    Plus, I want him to be the one to do it– not me. I like the traditional aspect of it. Yes it’s 2014 but that also means women are equally free to make their own choices including “waiting” for her SO to propose if that’s what she really wants. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1739 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

     

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    zarageo:  I hear that, but mostly on the bee. When I tell people IRL they say “well where’s the ring”. Plus I don’t feel engaged and he doesn’t consider us formally engaged. Our friends consider us engaged, but that mostly because we’ve been together for 4+ years and we make an awesome team.

    Plus if that’s showmanship, then that’s what I’m waiting for. I don’t know why people discount formal engagements. I’m not looking to show anyone up but I am looking for a romantic guesture from the one I love. Something that he himself came up with to ask me to be his one and only, forever. Something to show me that he thinks I’m worth the effort of a sweet proposal.

    Post # 9
    Member
    8601 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I would have never. Obviously it works out for plenty of couples who go their own way, but to me the traditional proposal is a great litmus test of their commitment to you and to marriage. I only wanted to wed someone who wanted it enough to go through the effort of getting a ring and proposing on his own will. 

    He knew I was ready to be engaged, and I knew he’d make it happen when he was. He would have found it really pushy if I proposed before he had a chance in our whopping 15 months of dating and to be frank he would have been embarrassed. Hes the one who bought the ring too, so if its happening that way its only fair the timing is their call. 

    And we knew we would be married and he asked me to marry him all the time but that didnt make us engaged to me. Talk is cheap. There needed to be action to back that up before an engagement is announced and deposits go down on a wedding.

    If years went by all talk, then eventually I would have left him to free myself up to meet someone who wanted a marriage rather then proposed to him. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    77 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    View original reply
    zarageo:  I voted maybe as I have his ring already mwhahahahahaha! I plan on springing it on him after he has proposed as I think he should be ‘branded’ too lol but I will let him have his glory first 

    Post # 11
    Member
    2221 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

    I knew he wouldn’t have wanted that. One of our friends had his gf propose to him so when that happened we had discussed the general idea of it and he was really put off. He knew I was ready but he obviously wasn’t so why would I ask him if I knew he wasn’t?

    Post # 12
    Member
    7414 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    We talked about marriage many many times.  We knew we were going to get married, our families knew we were going to get married, it was just when were we going to make it official and start the countdown to the wedding – which to us was what the engagement was.  We both agreed we didn’t want an engagement longer than 18months so when he gave me the ring, that was the countdown to wedding.

    We were together 8.5 years before we were officially engaged, there were many reasons we waited, some I was okay with, some I was a little more frustrated by, but we both had to be ready.  There was no point in me pushing him. 

    DH wanted to be the one to formally propose, if I had asked him and he wasn’t ready, he probably would have said no – the same way women say no.

    I know women who have proposed, that was right for them, this was right for us.

    Post # 13
    Member
    178 posts
    Blushing bee

    No, he’d be upset because he wants to propose to me. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    503 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    View original reply
    MstoMrsH:  “Plus if that’s showmanship, then that’s what I’m waiting for. I don’t know why people discount formal engagements. I’m not looking to show anyone up but I am looking for a romantic guesture from the one I love. Something that he himself came up with to ask me to be his one and only, forever. Something to show me that he thinks I’m worth the effort of a sweet proposal.”

     

    +10000. That’s exactly how I felt. We picked out my ring together, and I actually paid for it due to our situation, but the effort he put into the proposal itself was so damn important to me. I wouldn’t trade that for anything!

    Post # 15
    Member
    1641 posts
    Bumble bee

    There’s a difference between knowing you will get married and having talked about it, and just waiting for the actual “event.” For my now-fiance, it was important to him personally that he got to propose how he wanted. I was more than happy to give him that experience.

    It took a little while for him to “get his ducks in a row” and actually pop the question, but we had communicated along the way and made sure our plans and expectations aligned. I hated waiting, but it wasn’t because I didn’t know if he’d want to marry me at all, and it wasn’t because I wasn’t an “equal”.

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