(Closed) Why don't you want to get married in your hometown?

posted 5 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 16
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

We’re not religious/never were so there is no “hometown church” for us to marry in and we don’t live in our home town anymore. So if I have to plan a wedding from 1,000 plus miles away, it’s going to be somewhere fun. Also, if we had it at home, it would be like 300 people… No thanks. 

 

I get get asked a lot if I am going to have it where I live now and my response is always “why would I? I have zero connections to this place and wouldn’t want to subject my friends and family to it. They would all have to travel anyways so were doing it somewhere fun!”

Post # 17
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My mother has been griping and griping how we’re getting married so far away and now none of the family can go and etc etc etc. For one, it’s a 2 hour drive. For two, there is nothing in our hometown. There’s a defunct factory, no wedding venues other than the generic hotel thing, and we wanteded to get married outside in a beautiful natural area. For three, I am asking my parents’ church’s pastor to marry us, but more of because he’s known me since I was 12, and is my best friend/BM’s dad, and her family is just awesome. But my mother does not like that the event will not be in the church followed by a reception at a hotel with a bajillion people (mostly her family). *sigh*

Post # 18
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

We moved to another state in 2012 and had originally thought about getting married back home but then we were like… “we have a toddler… traveling and planning a wedding from so far…no thanks.” So we are getting married in our NEW home state and everyone else is traveling. 

I am sort of sad that I wont be in the church that I grew up in …but my fiance is pretty dead set against a church anyways (marrying an Atheiest) ….so I guess this works out for the better for him. haha

Post # 19
Member
80 posts
Worker bee

For me, home is New York City, which is literally the most expensive place (on average) to get married in the States. We looked into a few venues but you get so much less for your money. So we decided to go for Charleston, SC, where my grandfather’s from and I spent my summers as a child and my FH as well has come to love, and we’ll be able to get the wedding we want within our means and we’re really excited about it.

Post # 20
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Not a desination wedding, but not a hometown wedding either.  I’m not religious, so if we had the wedding in my hometown I would have had to find a church to have the ceremony in!  We are getting married in the city where we met, fell in love, and live and at the church Fiance attends.  I don’t have any ties to my hometown as my parents moved to another state a few years ago and I’m not in touch with any friends from HS outside of Facebook.  FI is from a very small town that wouldn’t have provided options for the reception and would have been very difficult for guests to get to (fly into 1 of 2 airports and drive at least an hour if not 3).  

I don’t really have people asking specifically why we aren’t getting married in my hometown, but people are often suprised to find we are getting married here.  I don’t know why we wouldn’t…it will be so special to have the places where we got married and had the reception within walking distance of our home!

Post # 21
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My Fiance and I are from different countries and continents, so it seemed unfair to have the wedding in my home town and make his entire family travel so far (and vice versa). We elected to marry “in the middle”, so everyone would have a more moderate trip. I still got asked why all the time, both of our families were absolutely convinced we should have the wedding and reception locally and “just throw another party later” for the other family 😛

Post # 22
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

xsteene88:  for the exact same reason, I’m getting married in Kentucky where my maternal roots go way back and I spent summers and holidays. And its just so beautiful.

My NY born and bred groom though is convinced his friends won’t make the trip- I hope that’s not true. He was all for the location before :/ 

Post # 23
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

MrsUPS: I’ve never wanted to get married in my city. I always thought I would do a wedding on a beach. Fiancé and I started talking about all the people we would miss if a flight was required and instead we are getting married in a super cute little town in the Arkansas mountains. It’s a four hour drive but it is worth it. 

Post # 24
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Our wedding isn’t in our hometown and isn’t a traditional destination wedding either. We live just outside of Ottawa and found pricing for venues in Ottawa to be way over our budget for the ones we liked, at least anything within walking or short cab ride from a hotel. Really did like the vineyard idea, but wanted to have nearby hotels for guests who want to drink. Decided on an inn in a town just under two hours from home. It’s built in the 1880’s and is right on the St. Lawrence River, and the venue takes care of the catering which is one less worry for us. There’s tons of hotels withinn walking distance for those who don’t want to stay at the inn and in all price ranges. We wanted to be away from home but within driving distance for many of the guests.

Post # 25
Member
6231 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Not yet!  However, I think most people would understand why I would choose a destination over my hometown (or my SO’s hometown).

  1. Our hometowns are a 16-hour drive or a 4-hour plane ride away from one another
  2. Most of both of our families live near my hometown, and we live in his
  3. I haven’t live at home in over 6 years (I’ve lived in 4 completely different geographic locations since then)
  4. Neither my SO or I like being around a ton of people at once, so it makes sense to do a small destination wedding to not feel pressured to invite everyone.
  5. Relative to the church thing… neither of us go to church. 
Post # 26
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I always get a variation on this: “Why would you want to get married in you fiance’s home state, NOT yours? You’re the bride!”

Seriously, it drives me nuts. Just because I’m the bride does not mean I have the right to be married in my hometown, certainly no more than my fiance. We’re going to live in my hometown, so why not mix things up and get married somewhere else? Plus, he’s from Texas. I mean, who doesn’t want to be married in a state when guests are excited you got them BBQ for the rehearsal dinner? 

Post # 27
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

For logistical reasons, it makes most sense to wed where you both currently live. Besides my parents, there are few people in my hometown that are still a part of my life, and my hometown is a trek.

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