(Closed) Why don't/didn't you want a diamond?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
  • poll: What's your reasoning for not wanting a diamond?

    I don't want something expensive

    We couldn't afford it - plan to upgrade

    I love other stones more than diamonds

    I wanted colour

    I wanted to be unique

    For moral reasons (have you seen Blood Diamond?)

    Not me! I want(ed) one, diamonds are a girls best friend!

    Other (explain)

  • Post # 63
    619 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I had two heirloom stones.  One was a diamond & the other was an untreated blue sapphire.  I fell in love with sapphire & actually cried when we found it.  I could have used either but I chose the sapphire because it was so beautiful.  I always saw myself as someone with a colored stone but I would have been happy with the diamond if I had never seen the sapphire because it was an heirloom.  If we had to purchase I still would have wanted an antique stone.  We were lucky enough to have every piece of our rings passed down to us and a friend who designed our rings for a very small trade.

    Post # 64
    5136 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Aquaria:  I agree with you.

    Post # 65
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    My SO saved $3,500 for my ring and asked me to choose my setting. Well the settings that I liked were all atleast $1,500 to $2,000! That only left $1,500 to $1,000 for a diamond. I wear a size 9 ring and I prefer a larger stone. Color stones just are not my personal style. 


    When I wandered onto the Bee I was SO happy to discover Moissanite. Now I am getting the setting I love with a stone I feel is a great size for my finger (1.5 carat equivalent)

    Post # 66
    2056 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    @joya_aspera:  It’s clear you have some understanding in dosages!  However, I will have to respectfully disagree with you on the safety of irradiated diamonds.  I feel uncomfortable disclosing just what it is I do, but I will say that based on what I know, I would feel safe wearing an irradiated diamond- dozens of them, even.

    Of course, radiation safety is another topic for another time, and I feel like I’ve taken up more than enough of this thread taking the fear of radiation too personally.  I always do that.  Alas, maybe I will never learn in that regards.

    Post # 67
    164 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I just want to be married, have a home and raise our son and future children (if that’s in the cards). I hate wasting money and at this point in our lives a diamond is wasting money. My wedding WILL cost less than $5,000. Also I wanted a truely rare stone, not an inflated/hyped up one. I’m getting a dainty simple morganite ring, no emphasis on halo, bling, etc. The ring is a symbol of being married and frankly with or without it I wont be any less married. I want a tanzanite ring as well. It’s my birthstone and the only stone that has been discovered and will be mined out of existence in my lifetime. My main emphasis would be my wedding band. One that I always wear and some stackers/other gemstones ring I may interchange. To me the wedding band is most important…that’s a true symbol of the day we take our forever vows.

    Post # 68
    1271 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Daizy914:  Interesting, I totally disagree! I think raw diamonds are insanely gorgeous. For example:

    (This one belongs to user Starbuck, I hope she doesn’t mind my ring crush!)





    And check these out!




    I would be just fine with owning a rough gem like this one, that is definitely ethially sources and that is set and created by an artisan; OOAK!


    What I DO actually own is a vintage ring with sever small diamonds (of poor quality) and no actual centre stone. It was pre-owned, so I don’t feel as acutely the guilt of environmental damage and human rights violations. On some level however, I feel that it’s wrong to wear ANY diamond and thus indirectly endorse exploitative practices, and struggle with that still.


    Post # 69
    4097 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @MrsSnowMountain:  Raw diamonds that are marketed and sold as raw diamonds are meant for an altogether different look than a traditional cut and polished stone. The settings tend to be more organic looking as well. You wouldn’t see a rough diamond in a classic Tiffany setting for example. 

    Post # 70
    880 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    Choice A: 

    A pretty ring!

    Choice B:

    A nearly identical pretty ring, plus $10,000 cash!


    I chose Choice B. lol. Also I wanted that ‘you only get one chance for an ENGAGEMENT ring’ classic look while still feeling like there is something different, special, even clever about mine- without sacrificing the durability for everyday wear. Add in rainbows and I was SOLD. We bought the moissanite and when I saw it in person I knew I made the right choice, it’s gorgeous and the sparkle is absolutely unreal. Can’t be understood til you see one in person, especially outside on a sunny day!!

    Post # 71
    3525 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I wanted a whiteish, durable, lifetime stone. If diamond was my only option, then I would’ve gotten one. But I discovered Moissy and knew it was exactly what I wanted. I also considered a white sapphire for a while, but I worried about it getting scratched. 

    Post # 72
    23 posts
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I always thought I would get a diamond, I used to joke that I wanted a family of four to die for my ring when my SO would express his disgust for the diamond industry.  In reality, the morally questionable practices of the diamond industry coupled with the ridiculously inflated price tag led me to seek alternative stones.  I still LOVE the way diamonds look and never entertained the idea of having anything but a clear stone for my engagement/wedding rings.  I discovered both Asha (high quality CZ) and moissanite.  I ordered a couple of loose stones, learned that I am apparently very colour sensitive (moissy seemed too “buttery” for me), and decided on an Asha.  I know that it is not a “forever” stone, but I kind of like the idea of spending about $1200 for both an engagement ring and wedding band…and being able to get something different a few years down the road if I want, without breaking the bank.

    Post # 73
    619 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @MrsSnowMountain:  I love those rings!  I always thought I’d end up with something like that.  I really like Todd Reed’s jewelry & Gurhan & some local artists in my area.  I was lucky enough to have stones handed down from my husbands family & could design what I wanted.  But if I had to buy on my own, it probably would have been something like that.  I still don’t have a band and may go that direction.

    Although one of the local jewelrs told me that the raw/rough diamonds might not be good in my profession because they can get caught on things more easilly since they’re a little scratchier.

    Post # 74
    43 posts
    • Wedding: July 2017

    When we were planning to get engaged I said I didn’t want a diamond from an economic and ethical standpoint.  From a purely economic standpoint – diamonds are not an investment. They aren’t like gold or other fungible materials that carry a recognized intrinsic value. I’m an economist, and this annoyed me. I also worried about sustainable acquisition of a stone. While there are reputable sourcers, I just didn’t feel like anyone could give me the appropriate piece of mind.

    Money was never the issue.  When I settled on moissanite that cost around $1,300 I was surprised with the other $5k of the ring budget going to a week long vacation in Europe. To me, the pics of that celebratory trip are worth more than a diamond.

    I think diamonds are gorgeous. If I’d had access to an heirloom I would absolutely be wearing it. I just couldn’t face the idea of further contributing to the market for the stones.

    Post # 75
    7813 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @missamysmiles:  I didn’t care but MrPanda99 chose to get me a diamond…so that is what I wear!

    Post # 76
    2529 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @MrsSnowMountain:  I agree with you that raw/rustic colored diamonds are beautiful. I was super tempted by those, but I decided I really want a clear, super-glittery stone in my e-ring.

    So, my SO and I are getting a moissanite (or if he’s planning on really surprising me, he might get a green sapphire!); I have ethical problems with diamonds– so many of them are bad as far as social justice goes, and all are rather bad environmentally (mining makes such a huge mess). I wonder how environmentally responsible the creation of moissanite is, too, but my SO likes moissanite mainly because it is socially and ethically more reliably trustworthy than diamonds.

    Also, cost is an issue for us– my SO could probably afford a decent diamond, but I am definitely uncomfortable with the idea of spending more than $2000 on a piece of jewelry, even a permanent and super-special one like an engagement or wedding ring.

    Bleh, I’m being long-winded!! And I’m not trying to insult anybody– I’m just expressing my own feelings on the subject. 🙂


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