(Closed) Why Facebook annoys me..(today)

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 62
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@sunshinebee:  B/c it’s fun to log back onto FB only to bitch about what you don’t like on FB. :)~ We’re all doing it, haha.

Post # 63
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@MrsWBS:  I vehemently agree.  I was misunderstood about something last summer in a post I made…I was talking about how with new changes I could see people’s children I didn’t even know, etc.  Someone took that to mean that I hated seeing pics of kids and I flew into a rage!  I was putting laundry away slamming drawers and then stopped and thought “WTF is wrong with me?”  I took a 6 month hiatus and am now back but with new rules for myself.  If I get irritated by a comment, I remove the comment from my timeline or remove the user.  No more getting too emotionally attached to stuff.

Post # 64
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012
Post # 65
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@MsW-to-MrsM:  OK, I can understand that it’s possible for anyone to have an affair.  Shouldn’t the focus, however, be on preventing them from WANTING to have an affair versus preventing a MEANS to have an affair?  You should probably get rid of his e-mail and cell phone as well, if that’s the case.  

 

Post # 66
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@Mars62312:  

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@vorpalette:  

There is something out there I like to call “grass is greener” syndrome. It doesn’t take a marriage in a shattered, unhappy state for an affair to happen. An ex contacts you via FB. Maybe they keep their conversation totally appropriate. Everything seems kosher in their messages, and you have a “perfect” marriage, so you add them. Maybe over months of viewing their updates and pictures ( which are overwhelmingly positive as well as manufactured ), things about your own life start to nag you.

The one dimensional portrait of this person looks pretty good. Subconsciously, you can’t help but begin to compare your real-world, three-dimensional life and spouse to it. Your ex is taking trips to Cancun and driving a Mustang. He has a 6 pack. He posts intelligent and witty things – things he has plenty of time to think over before posting. Your husband comes home from work in his subcompact, has a bit of pot belly, and is in a crappy mood. He doesn’t carefully consider everything he says because you are his spouse, and he is interacting with you in real time. You haven’t been able to afford a vacation in awhile.

You are no longer as grateful for the things you have. You may wonder what might have been. It doesn’t take much of a push for the conversations between the two of you to become less appropriate. Chances are you are still telling yourself that you would never actually cheat while communicating more and more with this other person.

I have seen it too many times to discount it. People in stable marriages gradually become unhappy because they are comparing their life or spouse to someone else’s. I don’t worry about straying for simple sex. I worry about crossing emotional lines one day because I have my head in the clouds, and I’m not actively avoiding the pitfalls. I also never want to do anything that might possibly cause my partner to feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable.

If a couple uses Facebook to keep up with family only and blocks out profile viewing and messages, then okay. Unfortunately, we are naturally curious about people that have been in our lives at one point or another, so most people don’t treat FB that way. FB could more correctly be called InternetStalkerBook.

Get the belief out of your head that cheating spouses always actively search for extramarital relationships. Do yourself and your marriage a favor. It is simply not true.

Another thing I feel very strongly about: If your only interaction with someone is through FB ( such as a former school buddy ), then they are not your friend and don’t belong on your friend’s list.

Post # 67
Hostess
11165 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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@MsW-to-MrsM:  I also believe married couples should have joint Facebooks or not have it at all.

Really? I know of a couple that has a joint FB and that is because he did cheat on her within the relationship. Considering my DH and I are both honest and open individuals within a happy marriage I will choose to lean on the trust, honestly and loyalty that is required for a marriage to prosper. If you cannot lean on that trust and honesty you are no different than someone who must snoop in their spouses phone, obviously there are bigger issues than social media.

Why bother remaining married if you feel that a joint FB is the only way to prevent your spouse from cheating? If they are going to cheat they don’t need FB to do it. A bit too pessimistic an approach to marriage for me.

Post # 68
Member
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Starling13:  I totally agree.

I like Facebook because it’s easier to organize events, rather than mass emailing or phoning everyone one by one.  I also like Facebook for networking, in the sense that I joined when I was in university and I like still somewhat having contact with people who work in the field in case I ever need a lead on something.  I also enjoy seeing friends/family’s photos of trips they take, their pets, their kids (in moderation).

I absolutely HATE facebook for its horrible privacy issues.  I hate the fact that I posted some of my wedding photos because I wanted the guests that came to see them, but then as soon as someone is tagged all of their friends have access to the photo (thankfully I don’t think to the whole album as my own privacy settings are high).  But I feel somewhat violated.  I could email photos, but let’s face it, that takes ages.  Facebook is just convenient.

I also can’t stand political posts, religious posts, constant memes and random images, details of your workouts or crappy dinners, game requests, mundane dailly activities, and if you post too many photos that look almost the same.

The ultimate problem is, sure, I can delete Facebook.  But that certainly doesn’t mean photos of me wont be on there.

I generally delete people who really irritate me.  Blocking posts takes awhile.

Post # 69
Member
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@orchidaloha:  Ugh, I hear you on the feather ruffling.  Unfortunately I’ve seen the wrath this can bring first hand and it was nasty.  Over being “friends” on FB!

Post # 70
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

A filter that limits the number of baby/toddler/child pictures on my homepage to one a week. If I want to see more of said kid, I can always check the profile.

A PDA filter. And an automatic response from Facebook itself which shouts ‘GET A ROOM!’ after the the third nauseating comment.

A filter for all ‘inspirational’ chain status updates.

A filter for food pictures. Unless it’s showcasing a culinary disaster, impressive pumpkin carvings, or rudely shaped vegetable.

A filter for obscure status updates that imply something is badly wrong, but, if anyone asks the user about it, they “Can’t go into it”.

A filter for scaremongering, urban legend type posts dressed up as ‘Public Safety’ announcements.

A filter that only allows only one ‘Vote for my….” status update per user for any given competition.

Post # 71
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@renwoman:  I think there should be a limit to one selfie a week (preferably a month but I think that would be asking too much of my FB friends) and the rest get filtered out.

And there should just be a total ban on posting the exact same selfie 5 times all with a different filter. Ugh. 

Post # 72
Member
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

1. I don’t care about your child. Don’t post about how s/he is exceptional because she walked. Everyone walks.

2. I don’t care about your political or religious affiliation. Both are like a penis — It’s okay to have, but don’t shove it down someone else’s throat.

3. You’re having the “worst day ever” for the 6,000th time this week? That’s nice. Shut up.

4. I disagree on couples having joint facebook accounts. That’s creepy and strips away individuality. I really dislike people who do this, it makes them both seem really whipped.

Post # 73
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

When my high school friends bitch about how hard their life is now that they _________ (mortgage, baby, job, etc.) or worse, openly attack their spouse. Yikes. 

Post # 74
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@MsW-to-MrsM:  Well, good luck with that.  I’ll keep my relationship built on trust, respect, and faith in my spouse.

Post # 75
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@renwoman:  OMG People posting pictures of their kids DAILY.  Yes I know your kid is cute but I dont need to see him/her everyday!!!!

Post # 76
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

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@MsW-to-MrsM:  ”I have seen it too many times to discount it. People in stable marriages gradually become unhappy because they are comparing their life or spouse to someone else’s.”


Well, I guess I’d better just lock our doors and stop seeing anyone else, just in case their life is better than mine and I’m overcome with lust at the sight of their amazing life! Turn off the TV, unplug the phone and blackout the windows – there’s people out there.

I also happen to love my husband’s pot belly…

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