Post # 1
Hi Bees! I have been a waiting bee for a very long time but I think things are about to change! While I am excited about the possibility of a proposal, I have been thinking a lot about the ring itself. Why have a ring? The girly/feminine/romantic side of me wants a ring. I think that it would be a beautiful symbol of our love, but isn’t that the purpose of a wedding ring? Why not just get a wedding ring to symbolize love? The other part of me thinks that it is silly to have two rings for the same event when the money could be spent elsewhere. I see the environmental side of the coin, why support an industry that is full of injustices and harm? I also think about the social implications of a ring. Is the ring just proof of your relationships worth to the outside world? And if it is why take part of this pattern of consumption?
Sorry for the rant! I have just been thinking a lot about this lately. I don’t really know how I feel, so I would love to hear everyone’s opinion on this. There is no right or wrong answer!
Post # 3
I don’t have an engagement ring, but it’s mostly because I don’t wear jewelry of any kind. Never have. It would have been wasteful to spend the money on it because it would just sit on the dresser! I did get a wedding band because I didn’t want a tatoo ring or anything else. It’s just a plain band, the thinnest I could find. We’ve been married almost two months and I’ve been awful about remembering to wear it!
I don’t think it matters if you have an engagement ring or not, for whatever reason. It really is just a symbol to society that you are about to create a union. But, you don’t need a ring to be engaged. I say, do whatever makes you feel good, ring or not.
Post # 4
I also had strong feelings about the environmental and social justice impact of gold and diamonds – I had talked to my Mr about buying a ring from an antique store, but my grandmother ended up giving him her mothers. Our wedding bands came from antique stores though – and because of that, were a fraction of the price, without contributing to the environmental or social consequences of the jewelry industry.
Post # 5
I wanted one for the symbolism. Also, I liked the idea of owning a piece of jewelry that we picked out together.
And, let’s face it. It’s shiny.
And if you want one, even for romantic reasons, I say go for it. There are many ways to make the purchase without breaking the bank or compromising your ethics.
Post # 6
@hay2214: It is about tradition and that’s all. If the traditon is not important to you then I say don’t do it. The ring I wanted would not look good with a band or any other ring next to it. I have a saphire solitare surrounded by three row s of diamonds. It was the ring of my dreams but then my Fiance said so what do I get you as a wedding ring I said this covers both. I wear it as my e-ring now and then when we get married I give it to him the night before and at the ceremony it goes on as my wedding ring. I like the sybolism of same person (me) just with a new task or goal. Same ring just a different task too. We were all set to do the whole e-ring and wedding ring until I found this one. I tried on bands with it and it simply ruined the ring. So what the hey, we saved a bit of money AND I got the ring I always wanted.
Post # 7
Honestly the only reason I have an engagement ring is because I wanted the prettiness. I don’t care about the tradition and the symbolism is kind of nice but I don’t need a ring to know we are committed to each other.
I just love jewelry. Honestly it is kind of a waste of money but oh well – most things in life are other than your basic necessities. I would actually like to have a whole collection of nice jewelry to pass on to my daughter(s) so I consider this the first piece. Luckily my taste is for colored stones mainly so it’s not TOO expensive.
If you don’t really want one, don’t get one. Screw the haters. 🙂
Post # 8
A good part of my reason is because it’s traditional. I’m a very traditional person, and I appreciate what it symbolizes. Fiance has commented that he is bummed, because he wishes he had an outward symbol of our relationship (which, I remind him that he will when we exchange our wedding bands). I like that it represents us taking that step to become husband and wife. My ring is also sentimental, because the center stone came from my mom’s engagement ring to my dad.
It is also nice because it’s pretty, sparkly, all that good stuff. But it’s a nice reminder. When I look down at it, it reminds me of the commitment that my Fiance and I are going to make to each other. It’s a symbol of our relationship, and it’s one that I am very proud of :-).
Post # 9
The main reason I have an engagement ring is tradition also. Is it more cost effective to just have a band. Yes, absolutely. But I wanted an e ring and Fiance wanted to get one for me lol. I also like the sparkle Im not going to lie!!
Post # 10
Cuz they’re pretty and sparkley and show you’re off the market.
I do have many other less shallow reasons for my ring, but those above sum it up. Most anything you consume has violated/exploited something or someone, but if it bothers you, kudos for making the decision against it. Several women stop wearing them after a while when they’re sick of cleaning soap scum and baby poo out off of the diamonds anyway. I’ll cross that road when I get to it, in the meantime, I enjoy our symbol of love and commitment. But it is just as symbol, so as long as you got the real love, you’re good IMO.
Post # 11
My Fiance gets upset when I forget to wear my ering… I asked him why (he bought one for himself as well) he said it’s a symbol he made a commitment to me and he wants the world to know that. He never takes his off so I know it really does mean a lot to him. I love it we picked it out together and I’m proud to wear it plus it’s beautiful.
Post # 12
My mother never had an engagement ring. She proposed to my dad and when he asked her if she wanted a ring she refused. She’s just not big on wearing jewelry and the thought of ANY stone sitting on her finger, getting in the way and knocking into things…she said no thank you immediately. They both have plain, gold, matching wedding bands. That’s it.
I, however, would like one. I can understand your point about feeding into global consumption. But in the scheme of things, engagement rings aren’t going to be the material that breaks the Earth’s back. 🙂 In my opinion at least. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with NOT having an engagement ring. It’s totally a personal choice. But given I live in a house that’s bigger than I need and we regularly update our computer equipment and tvs, I’m not in the position to boycott a ring for environmental reasons. 🙂 We do recycle and own a hybrid car. Baby steps.
I’m just upsest that there is a social requirement out there for one. But I believe once our generation replaces the one of our parents or grandparents I believe people will be more open to things that are outside of the expected norm and that the norm may start to fade a little.
You had an interesting perspective. But I’m a happy subscriber to the engagement ring camp. 🙂
Post # 13
I wanted one for the tradition of it. I wear one to outwardly display the commitment between us. I’ll continue to wear it along with a wedding band to symbolize a promise made, and a promise fulfilled.
If none of those things, or other reasons, are important to you, don’t get one! I’d almost go so far as to say if you have any doubts whatsoever that you should get a ring, don’t. Practically speaking, you are right that the money would be better spent elsewhere. If you change your mind down the road, you could get one then.
Post # 14
for me, the ering was a promise of marriage/our future together but since we married i rarely wear my diamond rings. i havent worn them since last christmas and hubby doesnt have a problem with that as i wear a plain gold band as it fits my lifestyle better
Post # 15
For the tradition, the symbolism, and also, as others have said, to show you’re off the market.
Post # 16
I love jewelry, and have many pieces that are very sentimental and important to me – earrings that were a graduation present from my parents, a ring that has my grandmother’s diamond from her engagement ring, a ring that my grandfather gave my grandmother when they were dating… and many more that I won’t bore you with! I enjoy wearing each of them so much because of how beautiful they are and also because of what they represent! So I always knew that I wanted an engagement ring from my Fiance because I knew I would love and value and appreciate it just as much (or more!) as my other pieces. It has nothing to do with tradition for me, and I don’t consider my ring a waste of money!