(Closed) Why have kids?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

My kids are grown (I have three), but I wanted to have kids because they can be such a joy as I am sure you know with your 2 1/2 year old. They can also be quite challenging. I was blessed though with very wonderful children. People used to go visit one of my sisters and tell me that they didn’t ever want to have children because hers were so misbehaved, but when they came to visit me, they decided they wanted children because mine were very well behaved. If you and your FI really don’t want anymore kids right now that is perfectly fine. You can always change your mind later. Take a year or two to enjoy each other and then talk about it again. I am extremely happy that I had my children because to this day they are still my world. I don’t know what I would have done without them.

Post # 4
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think it’s partly hard to describe why I want kids. Something along the lines of feeling like it’s something I am meant to do and supposed to do, but on a more subconscious level. After that, I just feel that Hubs and I will be good parents, and that we are very excited to explore the world all over again through our childrens’ eyes. Plus I can’t wait to see hubs as a father, and all of our parents are very excited to be grandparents, although there is no pressure yet.

Post # 5
Hostess
18654 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Personally, I haven’t fully decided that I want kids yet.  If we have any, it won’t be for another 5+ years at least so I will think more about it later.

Post # 6
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I want to have more kids b/c there are very few things as rewarding as seeing a little person look at you like you’re their whole world. With my daughter, it’s been such a pleasure to watch her grow and change and even the hardships…the terrible two through fours =) have made me grow as a person and as a mom. To see her now doing things without me having to tell her, or making the honor roll, or being placed in honors classes, or even having other people tell me how well-behaved and personable she is makes me want to have more kids. She is 13 and my FI’s sons are 24 & 20 and people think we are crazy to want more kids…but we do. We want to have the pleasure of raising kids in a stable environment and with a two parent home. We feel like if our kids turned out this great in single parent homes…if we join forces our kids will be unstoppable…LOL!

Post # 7
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

We have no real want for kids right now. We’re open to that changing since we’re still young, but if it does it won’t be for at least 10 years. Perhaps by than that evolutionary drive to reproduce will kick in. 😉 We have talked about a life without kids and would be okay with that. 

Post # 8
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I have a 14 month old(FI is not her biological father) and we mainly want more kids so he can can have his “own”. He considers my daughter his and loves her as his own but he wants one with his genes and last name, ya know. He is amazing to Ava and i consider us great parents so we cant wait to have more!

Post # 9
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

They make you smile and laugh.

Another person that loves you forever (lol hopefully). I don’t have hardly any family so it’s nice to think about having a big family dinner when they are grown.

We want more kids because they make us laugh everyday and we both grew up without parents/family and it’s a great feeling to love someone and take care of them!

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think our lives will feel empty without them. I can forsee us wanting a family in the near-ish future (couple of years) but I can’t ever see us having none. Even if it happens later in life, I don’t think that’d be for us. I have an amazing relationship with my mom and I cannot imagine not having that with my own daughter.

Post # 11
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I used to say I didn’t want any kids, but something last year just kind of clicked inside and all of a sudden I was like OMG I am going to be a great mommy. I know it sounds silly but deep down I just know FI and I will be awesome parents. We don’t want to start until at least 3-4 years from now but we KNOW we want our own little babies 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2000

Similar to Jenny, it just suddenly clicked. DH and I were both leaning toward NOT having kids even though we felt that this is something to seriously keep reconsidering for some deeper reason–thus the issue wasn’t settled. We found out we were pregnant (‘accidentally’ had sex during fertile window) and it was like a wave of immediate joy and gratitude came over me. We were thrilled and knew we could do it, despite the challenges, with God’s help. 2 days later, I started bleeding and the pregnancy ended. We were so sad and then realized we are ready to have kids, so we planned our timing and we are now  ending my 1st trimester very excited. Besides being a gift to our lives, we truly hope to raise a child that leaves this world much better than it already is.

Post # 13
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I am 34 and hubs is 36 so we are in this discussion now.  It’s a lot of work, as we see from our friends/family.  We have to be 100% sure before we go for it as it will dramatically change your life and put added stress/strain on your marriage and you need to be able to manage it financially.  I love children and the joy they bring to everyone but I’m just not sure that we should have them.  I see both sides!!

Post # 14
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I grew up in a larger family (5 kids), and as annoying as they can get, there were so many fun times that can only be had with kids around (unless your husbands the type of guy to pull all the toilet paper off the roll and dress up in it :P)

It was kind of a given for me. I’ve always wanted kids, but I think that if you’re not sure, stay off of it for now, because having more kids will affect everyone’s life.

Post # 15
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think that it varies so much from individual to individual. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if/when I wanted kids. Growing up my mom was more like a friend than a mother to me, and she always talked about how having kids changes your life and that she never wanted kids. (Don’t worry, she loved us just fine, just wasn’t a kid person, hence being more of a friend than mom.) Growing up with my mother as a role model (and I love her very much), I wasn’t sure if I wanted kids, and I was always afraid that I would be a cold, distant mother like she was. But then FI and I unexpectedly got pregnant, and now we have an amazing 16-month old boy! I was pleasantly surprised to find that being a mother is the most wonderful, rewarding thing in the entire world, and FI and I can’t wait to start expanding (January 2011, WO-HOO)!

Post # 16
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We’re not having kids.  As early as four years old, I told my mom I didn’t want to get married because I didn’t want to get pregnant.  That shows you how sheltered I was–I thought getting married got you pregnant since everyone I knew that was married had kids and no one I knew who wasn’t married had kids!

So for me, it’s always been a part of who I am.  I love animals but feel absolutely nothing toward human children.  As I grew up I found more and more reasons not to have children beyond my innate feelings.  Granted, most are selfish reasons (not willing to sacrifice my body, my lifestyle, my money) coupled with a paralyzing fear of doctors/needles, but those are all pretty good ones to me.  

I had myself sterilized when I was 26 because I was so sure I didn’t want kids.  I realized that decision could have left me unable to find a husband that was okay with that.  But, fortunately, the next guy I started dating was completely on board, and we’re getting married in ~2 months!  We’re both very excited about the lifestyle flexibility we’ll have by not having kids.  

I think if you want (more) kids, then that’s totally great!  But if you don’t, there’s certainly an equally rich and fulfilling life path open to you as well.

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