(Closed) why he has not proposed?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think that you should voice your concerns to him and see how he reacts. It doesn’t mean that you have to “rush” into things, but at least you will know where you stand in your relationship and possibly get a timelne from him.

Post # 4
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t know if you need to bring it up.  He’s made it pretty clear through his actions that he feels comfortable.

What especially gets me is that he says “what is the rush” in front of you (or to people that he must know would repeat it to you).  That and he doesn’t call you his wife any more… those are pretty clear signs that he’s comfortable.

I think he’s not going to make any changes until he’s snapped out of his comfort zone…  not sure the best way to do that, but I’m guessing you probably have some ideas!

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

im a take charge kinda gal so i would be setting him a timeline on what i would require for the relationship to continue

for me planning a wedding & reception isnt important, getting married is so i would say to him that by this date (insert date here) i would like us to be married. if he feels that he cant comply with that date, whats his negotiated alternative?

problem with this is you have to have a backup plan – meaning if the date comes and goes then for me, the relationship will be over because as it is now, hes getting everything involved in having a wife but not committing to the wife bit

but this is me – im a do as i say kinda gal and fortunately i have a hubby that is very easy going

my advise to my single friends in relationship that are not progressing is why commit another 5yrs to him – you will only be 5yrs older and no where closer to the marriage & family that they hope for

goodluck!

Post # 7
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I dont see why you should rush. It’s only been 2 years and you guys are still young. If you really are sure he is the one for you…def talk to him and let him know you want to be married by a certain time. If he cant commit.. then you should really think about is he really worth the wait or not. It’s not about wether how long youve dated and that your time is ticking. You should really be sure that he’s the one. And if he says that he wants to get married to you “someday” i say.. you move out until he realized that he needs you asap. By you two living together I THINK doesnt really help.. he’s too comfortable and its like you’re married…but without a commitment.

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