- 6 years ago
I will NEVER wait more than 3-4 years for a guy simply because I would always be thinking about what happpened to a friend of mine who waited 13 years for a proposal.
I have a family friend (let’s call her “Carla”) who has been in my life ever since I was a child. Her parents have been friends with my parents for practically forever (my mum and her mum were school friends).
Carla is now 31 and just got married this past weekend to “Eric” (he is 33). Eric and her have been together for 14 years now and have a boy who is nearly 2 years Â old.Â
Her family aren’t overly fond of him. I always thought this mutual dislike between Eric and Carla’s family was because of Carla’s father (he’s a great guy, but he’s seriously over protective of his daughters…..like as in he once met the boyfriend of one of his other daughter’s at the door with a large fish gaffing hook because the boyfriend got “his little girl drunk”).Â
Carla met him when she was 17 and has stayed with him despite all advice to the contrary. We live in a small/medium sized town, so news travels fast, and there have been persistent rumours about Eric. He has always insisted that he be allowed “man time” to go to clubs and bars on most weekends. Rumours have always been that he has gone out to hit on girls and try to pick-up. From what I know he is super shallow and critical of women’s looks, and has only ever gone for “perfect 10s”. I don’t know if he has cheated or not, but he is grossly unattractive, acne scarred and sickly skinny looking, so I’d say chances of him doing it regularly probably aren’t very high because he only tries with “model types”.
I know many people have told Carla and she has always shrugged it off. Eric has always made Carla believe that she is lucky to have him (he is a manipulative narcissist) and has always been able to have some sort of control over Carla so that she has always stayed with him despite his behaviour.
There had been many fights that I know of regarding marriage between the couple. Pretty much since year 4 (when she was 21, he was 23). He always said “not ready” and always blamed her/the relationship for why he wasn’t ready. Finally she feel pregnant in 2010 after 11 years together (I suspect this was deliberate on her part). During her pregnancy he went into “find another woman” over drive, was drinking like crazy and was asking anyone and everyone to “set him up with some hotties”. Carla refused to believe any of this. After their kid was born he settled down a bit and became a good father to the child, but still kept on the look out for another woman.
Finally after the kids first birthday he proposed. Carla had put her son’s last name as her own, and Eric had been badgering to have it changed to his since the birth. Carla had said only when we are married, so Eric proposed. He tried to get her to change it after the engagement, but she stuck to her guns and said “marriage only”. I know that there were HUGE arguments over this.
Finally his bucks night came (and this is what disgusts me and got me to post this because I found out about it this morning). Eric doesn’t have friends (I wonder why) so he had his brother and the other best man was actually who Carla requested (her cousin who she is very close to). The cousin is a colleague of mine. Both of these groomsmen are happily married and Eric’s brother (from what I can tell) is nothing like Eric.
Apparently the BN started out with him asking the other men to “keep their eyes peeled for Miranda Kerr”. This was laughed off, but Eric kept saying that he was on “the lookout” and kept making obnoxious hunter-related jokes and that he was “on the hunt”. Carla’s cousin got really sick of this and confronted Eric, Eric said that this was his “last night of freedom” and that he had “the right to see if there was anything better”. As Eric got drunker he admitted he was only marrying Carla because he “hadn’t found anything else” and that the Buck’s Night was his final chance to see if he could get “just a bite” from anything attractive. He said if he could get even a sign that another woman wanted him, he would call off the wedding. Eric’s brother suggested he call it off anyway, but Eric said he loved Carla 100%, but she wasn’t what he “dreamnt of” and that he realised his chances of getting his “fantasy girl”Hgg were getting slimmer and slimmer, so he would take what he could get.
So, I will never wait anymore than 3-4 years, I refuse to be someone’s fall-back girl.