(Closed) Why I hate save the dates

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’ve only ever received a couple of save the dates, but it was pretty obvious to me what they were. I’d never heard of them when the first one popped through the door, but I remember thinking, “that’s pretty cool – that means I can put the date on the calendar well in advance and keep it free”.

Quite a few of the save the dates that I’ve seen on here are very ornate and busy, which may explain why people get confused between them and invitations. Also, I can imagine my older relatives being confused by the concept as it’s not so common here.

I’m going to do them because I really want to, but I don’t think they’re a “must” by any measure. And I expect a couple of confused phone calls! (Hopefully no more!)


Post # 4
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

That’s an interesting challenge I hadn’t thought of! Hopefully my family members won’t be confused since we plan to send them out. I’ll let you know how it goes next month. 😉

Post # 5
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Yeah we weren’t gonna do them at all, and I don’t think they are necessary, but since we got married in the summer and knew people want to make summer plans early, we did them. 

Ours were really simple, just a cardstock postcard from kinkos.

Post # 6
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We decided to do them because we have out of town guests and its a Friday wedding. Did you have on your STD “formal invitation to follow” ? That’s strange that your guests think the STD are invitations.

Post # 7
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Did you say on them “Formal invitation to follow”? That might be the source of confusion.

Post # 8
43 posts

My Save-The-Date Cards were very simple and very clearly stated “formal invitation to follow”.  Sooo many people are asking me questions and R.s.v.p.ing and I sent them out 3 months ago. 

I didnt send them all out at the same time bc I didnt have FI’s address  and never even knew if he would ever get around to getting these adress.  When someone found out they hadnt gotten a STD they were mad that they werent invited. 

But a lot of people appreiate them so that they can “save the date” bc people a lot of people plan their vacation days a year in advance.

Post # 10
8736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Snowy414: Well if you put “invitation to follow” I’d just direct them to the bottom of the card and be like “this is not the invitation, see the note at the bottom”. But I get frustrated when people don’t read things fully.

Post # 11
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Esp since you put invitation to follow it seems explanatory to me. I think the save the date might seem like a “newer” concept to a certain generation of guest. I wonder how long these have been around. I know I have been getting them is the past 5 or so years. But I think that in when the gained popularity. So maybe to those people who haven’ been to a wedding in a while they just are well out of the loop.

Do you have a wedding website? We created one for 2 reasons. Beacuse my family is from Chicago and we are getting married where we live now in MI and thought it would be the easiest way to update people and also to save the both of us from repeating a lot of the same answers all the time. Just a thought 😉

Post # 12
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We didn’t do Save-The-Date Cards because we didn’t have a finalized guest list until the day we addressed the invitation envelopes, lol!  FH had a little freak out after we received a STD in the mail recenlty, and he thought we should have done them, too.  Now that I read this, I’m glad we didn’t!

Post # 13
13563 posts
Honey Beekeeper

They’ll figure it out. Just try to be patient and remember how much you want them to be at your wedding. Try to be thankful that they’re so interesting in coming! 🙂

Post # 14
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This is why I am sending out maybe 10 save the dates, and half of them will probably be electronic (and I am definitely putting ‘formal invitation to follow’ at the bottom).

Post # 15
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

we sent them because it’s a dw for half of our guests. it said “formal invitation to follow,” but all of the older people thought they were the actual invitations.

Post # 16
9028 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

alot of people dont know about save the dates. My friend sent out her Save-The-Date Cards and she had people actually criticising her “invites” because they didnt have all the necessary information even though it clearly says formal invite to follow. I decided not to do STDS because i also feel they are unncessary and people just dont get them

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