- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
I took an interesting trip through the Interwebz today. It began where many wonderful Internet journeys begin – Weddingbee, or more specifically, Miss Pencils’ awesome, honest post about becoming a wife. A commenter mentioned the connections to what Pencils was saying to A Practical Wedding, and I thought, I should hop over there, I haven’t read that blog in a while. After a quick perusal there, I found this post regarding another one of my favorite blogs, Jezebel.
Meg, the amazing blogger at A Practical Wedding, addressed the “bride bashing” that has been going on in recent Jezebel articles, namely this one about a bridal expo, in which the two Jezebel writers who attended dialogue about how silly and outrageously expensive the whole thing was, and how they’d rather spend the average cost of a wedding on a new house or a vacation or something else more awesome.
Now, I had read that article when it was originally posted, and it did irk me a little bit. What was actually most irksome were the comments, with woman after woman deriding expensive, elaborate weddings and saying that when they got married/will get married, it will cost $1000 and that will all be spent on the open bar because that’s the most important part, and anything else (dress, flowers, cake) is frivolous.
Meg’s response to all this was basically: Why is a feminist website bashing other women’s choices? She quoted from an open letter another awesome wedding blog, A Los Angeles Love, wrote to Jezebel, saying:
“You have a real platform to talk about weddings differently, apart from the standard woman-bashing narrative. There’s a real case to be made that the disdain with which some of your writers have approached women’s choices about their weddings indicates a real lack of respect and buy-in to typical gender stereotypes and trashing of a traditionally women-centric domain.”
Another part of that open letter I really appreciated was this:
“I think there’s a serious case to be made for looking at the more subtle complexities of the wedding industrial complex, of the “blogging industrial complex”, …of weddings as a viable economy for artists and women-owned businesses…”
I really loved soaking up all this intelligent pro-woman AND pro-wedding talk. I still love to read Jezebel, but after reading these responses to their article, I am disappointed that they aren’t able to foster a more positive and constructive conversation about weddings than just, “Oh, aren’t these things silly?! I’d never be that silly.” Because as A Los Angeles Love pointed out, they aren’t so silly that more than half of the Jezebel has or will soon taken part in the time-honored ritual. This whole thing led me to another great A Los Angeles Love blog post, “Our Wedding Are Investments”, which talks about why it isn’t evil to spend money on your wedding. Imagine that.
Weddingbee is such a supportive and open community, but we still have judgment on here sometimes, as there is everywhere, so I knew I had to share all of this with you. I learned so much in just the past hour, which is why I love the Internet and blogs! For example, I never really thought about how weddings and the wedding industry is an outlet for women to have creative control, express themselves and earn money. Just look at Weddingbee, and look at Etsy. That’s not silly – that’s notable.
So why do you think weddings aren’t actually silly? Did the Jezebel article bother you at all?