(Closed) why is age a big deal with brides? who cares if your young or old…

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m sure some people feel you have your whole life to settle down and at 21 you could be going out, having fun, traveling, meeting new people (including guys).  Don’t knock people for being concerned.  They are only looking out for you.  Marriage isn’t buying a sweater, wearing it a few times, and tossing it. 

Post # 4
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

@mrsrecon:  I’m a 19 year old bride and I think most people just assume immaturity from those who are under ~21. It is hard but we are just going to have to prove that we can be young and have successful marriages instead of it being automatically assumed. 

Post # 6
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

@Rubbs:  I agree that most people who raise issue with young brides have good intentions. But I’m always confused when people act like my life is going to end once I get married. My new husband and I plan to travel and fun together! It’s not like we’re going to sit home until we die or have children!

 

Post # 8
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mrsrecon:  As long as your family supports it, then you’ve got an excellent thing going for you.  When people mention things that you don’t like, say that to them.  Be like my family and I couldn’t be happier.

I just picture your 20’s as a time to get out and go crazy (safely, that is lol).  I also didn’t get married until I was 33!  So 21 to me is like insanely young.

Post # 9
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Fantastagirl:  Lol!  That’s true… you make a good point.

Post # 10
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sadly when you look at a lot of 21yr olds you see people out partying and acting crazy, so most people assume that is what all people that age should be/are doing. I am 22 right now I will be 23 at the wedding and this will be my second marriage. I was forced to grow up quickly, I grew up below the poverty line in an abusive household with a mother who has chronic diseases that dibilitate her. I started working at age 13 to help pay bills and was essentially moved out and living different places, hotel, and people’s houses by the age of 16. People who know me(family included) are extremely excited about the wedding and they have no concerns about my age, as a matter of fact before getting engaged Fiance and I got a lot of “so when are you getting married?” from family. As for strangers you can’t control what they think and some are bound to think that regardless of your maturity level that your age is too young to get married. It is what it is, if you know that you want to get married and both you and your Fiance are ready for it then that is all that should matter.

 

Also the first time I was married I was 18 and my divorce had nothing to do with being to immature to marry, it just so happens that I was unfortunately married to a very abusive man. And being in an abusive/controlling relationship can unfortunately happen to anyone at any age, and the abuse was the sole reason for our divorce.

Post # 11
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

@mrsrecon:  Oh jeeze. Everyone thinks I’m already pregnant! Oh well, I think that it’s best to remember that we are the exception and not the rule, because most 18-21 year olds aren’t ready to get married so people assume that ALL 18-21 year olds shouldn’t. 

Post # 13
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mrsrecon:  Who says you have to be single to enjoy your life? Or your 20s? I think that may be the problem is that people don’t think you can really enjoy yourself if you are attached to someone, but I feel like I wouldn’t be enjoying any part of my life nearly as much without my Fiance.

Post # 16
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mrsrecon:  I think it is unfair of people to assume that just because of someone’s age they don’t deserve or cannot handle the same commitment and love that they have, simply because they are older. I will say being older of course gives you more life experience, but people don’t realize that there are those people who have experienced more than most people in half the time. Like you couldn’t have possibly learned any life lessons by 21 because that’s just not how it normally works. There is an exception to every rule and people sometimes forget that.

 

Also I just want to point out that 20-30 years ago when we were being born that it was perfectly acceptable for women to get married right out of high school and in a lot of cases it was expected. So why is it that our parents could get married at 18-20 and be applauded for it but when people do it now they are looked down on?

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