Post # 1
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee
Ok, so I have been a solid size 10 since highschool, getting up to a 14 after I had my son. After 9 months of carrying the weight around, I got serious and started losing weight by tracking my net calories and exercising. I steadily lost about 1.75 lbs a week until I was down 30 pounds. I maintained there, a size 8/10, but have since lost more weight.
I’m now a size 4/6. I feel great. I’m exercising and focusing on cardio and strength right now. Sometimes I get a little bit obsessive, but I’ve been maintaining pretty well and am done losing weight.
I like being skinny! After over a decade of being 15 to 45 pounds overweight, I finally feel really good about myself. I like seeing my muscle tone, fitting into clothes so much better, not having to suck in my stomach for every single darn photo, and just feeling better in my own skin. I am not flaunting it or anything, but so many people in my extended family are being so critical of my weight loss, telling me I’m too skinny, I need to stop losing weight, and they keep trying to force food on me. And if I turn down dessert, junk food or anything and instead opt for a “diet” food (fruit, veggies, yogurt, etc) then they act all worried like I’m just going to starve myself literally to death. Like now that I have lost the weight, I should let my diet go back to what it was (processed, high fat, high carb).
If I’m feeling better about myself, happier with my body, and I’m not being too obsessive about it or being an a$$hole about it, what is wrong with enjoying my weight and how I look?
And why does anyone and everyone think that it is okay to comment and question me on my weight?
Post # 3
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
@mrstilly: I think as long as you are within your healthy weight range, people shouldn’t be making comments about your weight. Otherwise I think perhaps they are just jealous because you were able to get yourself in better shape! Keep it up and congrats on getting healthier! 🙂
Post # 4
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
That’s annoying but it sounds like they just love you and want you to be healthy. This could also be about their own insecurities, too. I’m wondering what “Sometimes I get a little bit obsessive” means though, do you think they’re seeing something that could be viewed as unhealthy?
Post # 5
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee
@AlwaysSunny: Well, I think right now I’m just focused on maintaining my weight and not gaining it back. So I’m still tracking calories and exercise, and I weigh myself every 1-2 days. I use the weightbot app and just plug it in and go on about my day.
A lot of women on my dad’s side of the family have really struggled to get at and maintain a healthy weight long-term. I am trying to avoid getting in a cycle of gaining/losing, and just try to figure out what I need to do to maintain. I’m a runner too, but dealing with injury and am side-lined, so I’m a little more focused on my net calorie goal than I was when I was running 40 miles a week.
I think part of it is just because I have never been under a size 10 in the last decade, so it is probably a big difference, especially for some extended family who don’t see me as often. But seriously, a person’s weight is not a topic for public conversation, and certainly not in front of said person.
Post # 6
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
First of all, congratulations on your weight loss! You sound like you are doing great! I am sure your family loves you, but weight can be a very tricky subject for a lot of people. Your success might remind them of the fact that they are not as healthy as you, and they may feel guilty. I don’t think it has anything to do with you. People have their own issues and will try to make themselves feel better by putting others down. Keep taking care of yourself! I hope they can get past their insecurities and celebrate your accomplishments with you.
Post # 7
Member
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I agree with you! I lost 20lbs after getting engaged, going from a 6-8 down to a 4. EVERYONE keeps saying “You’re too skinny! Eat a cookie!” No! I am REALLY working hard to be this thin! STOP TRYING TO WRECK MY GOOD HABITS!
It drives me up the WALLS! I usually laugh and go “It’s only until the wedding!” Which is a lie, but at least it gets them off my back until May!
Post # 8
Member
946 posts
Busy bee
Maybe people are joust reacting to the shock of you looking/acting so differently from what they’ve seen over the past decade?
changing your lifestyle is not only a drastic adjustment for you but also to those around you. They need to get used to the new “you” in terms of eating and behavior.
Post # 9
Member
2934 posts
Sugar bee
I’m sure they mean well and are just trying to express their concern and love for you. They might back off very nicely if you reassure them that it isn’t your intention to lose any more weight and that you’re in excellent health.
Post # 10
Member
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
I’m thin and people comment all the time, I just ignore it or say thank you!!
Post # 11
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee
Thanks for the responses. I think I’m just fed up with it, because we come to the holidays so I seen all of my extended family and most of them have made comments or openable public discussion about my weight. I felt a little bad after-the-fact, because yesterday I flat out ignored my husband’s grandmother when she commented that I was too skinny. I try to have a little bit more tolerance for the grandmothers my life because they all have good intentions and they’re such wonderful women. If those it a little bit closer to my age that seemed to be a little bit more critical.
Hopefully if I an able to maintain the weight long-term, people will just get used to it and stop making comments. Or at least they will have the decency to do it behind my back. Ha ha.
Post # 12
Member
481 posts
Helper bee
People who don’t understand what it takes to lose weight (tracking calories and exercise) will think it’s obsessive. I don’t have any advice to get them to stop, but you should definitely just enjoy being healthy and realize that they probably just don’t get it (or are jealous). Congrats on the weight loss!
Post # 13
Member
5107 posts
Bee Keeper
Girl I can totally relate and fear this when I finally hit my goal. I’m like a size 6-8 right now and and want to lose more weight. Because I’m open about my goals, I can’t tell you how negative people are, like “You will look sick when you get to your goal weight.” Seriously? As long as I’m happy, what does it matter?
It goes along with the fat shaming is just as bad as skinny shaming. You’re now on the other end of the spectrum. People are much more comfortable skinny shaming then they are fat shaming, so be prepared, they will continue to do it. They have no clue how hurtful it is!
I just wanted to say congrats on your weight loss and you are such an inspiration to me. I can’t wait to get where you are!!!!
Post # 14
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
You’ve done so well! My good friend and work out buddy has lost weight/become more toned and muscular, and a few of our mutual friends are definitely not supportive and denegrate healthy eating and fitness. Honestly, it’s obviously because they aren’t as healthy as they wish they were and they feel insecure about their own bodies.
Don’t listen and keep on trucking! Also, although I’m not a calorie-counter or really trying to lose weight, I definitely see where you’re coming from with the slight obsessiveness. It’s easy to get literally addicted to exercise! 🙂
Post # 15
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper
So you’ve described how you have done it and how you’re maintaining, but how do you LOOK? Is your face drawn and cheeks sunken in and are your arms and legs on the thin side now? Have you bought a new wardrobe for your new body or are you wearing the old clothes and everything is falling off of you?
My SIL did something lkie this, and I have to say the entire family reacted when they saw her for the first time in almost a year. Everyone thought she was sick and her family was hiding it from us. She lost way too much,way too fast…and it was not becoming on her. No one was jealous…we were just concerned, so of course it showed all over our faces. She has become a gym rat and a zumba queen, and gets physically ill when she’s sidelined for any reason. She really can’t have a conversation about anything but her food intake and her workouts anymore.
If you’re happy with yourself, that’s all that should really matter. I’m sure total strangers are only seeing you as you are now, so how would anyone, other than those close to you, notice any of what you’ve described anyway? They’ll get used to it and will stop commenting.
Post # 16
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room
I can relate… I’m dieting and get made fun of constantly everytime I have to make my diet food instead of being able to eat what everyone else eats. Every time I eat in a public setting, it requires 10 to 15 minutes of deflecting “there’s real food over here” “why exactly are you dieting?” “you’re going to get yourself to be really unhealthy” etc etc. I’m a size 8/10 but at 6 feet tall, so it sits on me differently than a size 8/10 would if I was 5 feet tall.
Most of these people knew me back when I was a size 16/18, so I guess I look skinny to them now. But I know I still have some ways to go before I look good to me.
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