- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
firstly, this is long and i’m feeling VERY emotional – sorry! so, here goes: why can’t he be better with money??!?!?!? It’s really pissing me off and stressing me out right now! We’re trying to buy a house, something that he has wanted to do since way before me, like for the past 10 years he’s always planned to buy a house ‘one day’. So now we’re engaged, getting married next year and because the economy is bad now is a great time to buy a house in London because they are (almost) affordable. Do you know how much he had saved up for a deposit? NOTHING. Seriously. NOT A SINGLE PENNY. HOW? How can someone get to their 30’s and have saved NOTHING?!?!?!?! He has a good job and a good income but it’s all MY money going into the house, plus his parents are giving us a substantial portion. But as for what HE is contributing it is nothing at all. Because I am selling my house first, and I have a lot of legal fees to pay and stuff, we originally agreed that I would pay the fees to sell and he would pay the fees to buy seeing as he has no deposit. But now he’s saying he can’t even afford to pay all the legal fees!
I’m not sure how it works in other countries, but in the UK the fees are pretty high, so on top of sorting out a mortgage, having to buy stuff for the house we’ll need like a refridgerator, washing machine, etc., AND we’re getting married next year (but a very, very inexpensive, small wedding). All these things are happening, and he went and bought a stupid technical gadget thing to watch and download movies on, which we do NOT need, which cost a few hundred pounds, wtf?!
And what really fucks me off, is that I worked my ass off to get through college, on a scholarship, plus working part-time the whole time, because my family was totally broke and couldn’t support me. He spent five years at college (instead of the usual 3 years in the UK) because he failed two years because he was partying so much. And when I first met him, he was only working four days a week instead of working full-time because he said he liked having a long weekend. OMG! I’m sure everyone wants a long weekend but i was working and saving because I know in the future it’s important to have financial security. How could he not think of that?
So partly I’m venting (sorry so long!) but also worried as I think finances will be a problem for us. We’ve already discussed this and had really a emotional (on my part) discussion where I say i’m scared to commit to someone that I don’t trust can financially support me when we have kids (which he definitely wants). If he can’t survive on his current income without using credit cards by the end of every month, how the hell is he going to support a family in a couple years?!
How have other bees dealt with this? He says when we have kids he will cut back on his spending and be much more careful, but why isn’t he doing this now? We need the money now and he just doesn’t seem to think ahead. Are all men like this or just mine?! 🙁