(Closed) why is it bad etiquette for the mob to host the bridal shower??

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: soo is it bad etiquette for the mob to host or co host the shower?
    yep! sure is bad : (32 votes)
    23 %
    no! dont be silly, its fine : (105 votes)
    77 %
  • Post # 3
    3756 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    a lot of people say that your close family isn’t supposed to because it looks like a money grab but I completely disagree. If your mother wants to host or co host your shower I say go for it! 

    Post # 4
    1920 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I don’t understand why that’s wrong. My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor so yeah she’s close family but she’s still hosting bridal shower. I wouldn’t care at all who hosted a bridal shower that I was going to.

    Post # 5
    4384 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Am I the only one who misread the title and read it as mob instead of the acronym? Lol. I giggled a bit! Anyways, my mom and sister hosted mine, my mom and I hosted my sister’s, I really don’t think it’s a big deal at all.

    Post # 6
    9053 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    It doesn’t really bother me.  Because the point of a shower is to give presents it’s considered rude for the bride’s family to host it, since it can seem like asking for gifts that benefit themselves.

    Post # 8
    135 posts
    Blushing bee

    i thought it mob too! haha no seriously…ppl would take offense to this? but why? is it bad if my aunt throws me one then?? 🙁

    Post # 9
    301 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think *technically* it’s considered bad ettiquette.  However, my mom and Maid/Matron of Honor will be hosting mine and I don’t see anything wrong with it.  It apparently looks like you’re just grabbing for gifts and money.  But I don’t see it.  People know what showers are for. 

    Post # 10
    1267 posts
    Bumble bee

    It’s interesting when you break it down like that.  I see nothing wrong with it, it seems another outdated, no reason etiquette crap rule.  Why in the world would a shower by a mother be seen as a ‘gift grab’ when the same shower (which the point is to shower the bride with gifts) not be a ‘gift grab’ by the best friend?  It’s not like your mom is going to benefit from your new cake mixer, you know?  Don’t worry about it!

    Post # 12
    3253 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Honestly, most everything we do is probably considered “poor etiquette” by someone out there. Who decides whats etiquette and what’s not anyways?!

    I think you’re fine! 🙂

    Post # 13
    338 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @OttawaBride2011: You’re not the only one.. I read it as mob, too.  It wasn’t until I came back to this thread for the second time that it clicked.. haha.  I don’t think it’s in poor taste, I’d think it was sweet of a friend of mine’s mom wanted to host a shower for her, although I guess I’d probably feel a little weird about it if MY mom wanted to throw ME a shower on her own, without my Maid/Matron of Honor co-hosting or anything (not the case in your situation, anyway, though).. but I wouldn’t think twice if a friend of mine’s mom threw a shower for them!

    Post # 14
    759 posts
    Busy bee

    @OttawaBride2011:  No, you aren’t the only one.  I thought it said the mob too! LOL! 

    I don’t see anything wrong with it. I’ve been to and heard of many showers hosted by the Maid/Matron of Honor, the brides’s sisters, and the parents. 

    Post # 15
    875 posts
    Busy bee

    A shower is a party asking for presents… your mother is not supposed to host the party because she is your mom.  Your immediate family is not supposed to be a host because the intention of a shower is to ask the party goers to plan to bring gifts for the honored guest because the family benefits… by the concept that they are not responsible for providing those gifts for their daughters.  (The old view would have been that the parents were to be responsible for providing the bride to be with an appropriate dowry that would allow the bride to be to set up housekeeping.)  The first showers were originally given by friends of girls without dowries or women who were disowned by their family, and thus were unable to set up housekeeping.  I think that the idea that your sister is unable to host a shower is a little more antiquated… because most of the time the sister is the bridal attendant, and in many cases no longer lives within the same household as the bride.  But really the mom should not be the hostess.  (I don’t think it’s a problem if the party is held at the bride’s parents home… in case the situation is that your childhood home is the best location for the event… because there are some situations that it is the best place… but the invitation should read… 

    Miss Sister of the Bride (Maid of Honor) and Miss Bridesmaid or Mrs. Mom’s Best Friend

    request the honor of your presence at a shower in honor of Miss Bride to Bee  at  her child hood home  1000 Storybook Lane, Alltowns, USA  12121

    The presumption would be that the guests who are close friends of the bride and therefore more knowledgeable about the family situation would be aware that Sis, the bridesmaids, and Mom’s BFF all live in tiny apartments or homes out of town an therefore this is the most logical location. 

    Post # 16
    987 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I also think it is bad taste for a mother or sister to be hosting a bridal shower as it seems the family is promoting a gift-receiving event.  If the bride isn’t offered a shower from her friends, then she shouldn’t have one, period.  Brides shouldn’t feel entitled to one anyway. 

    Brides or family memebers can always host an afternoon tea or something else that doesn’t entail a ‘shower’, i.e gift-receiving occasion. 

    The topic ‘why is it bad etiquette for the mob to host the bridal shower??’ is closed to new replies.

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