(Closed) Why is it inappropriate to wear white or ivory to a wedding?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
4554 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Here’s one reason why: I was at a wedding about two years ago. A cousin of the bride was late and, since there was only the one door that opened onto the aisle, she came in. She had a knee-length dress on; all white eyelet.

Some people from the groom’s side thought she was the bride, and stood up.

 

Post # 18
Member
6377 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honestly, I would be pissed. Like another PP said, there are a million other colors to choose from so as a guest, there is absolutely no reason why they have to wear white or ivory. I don’t care if they “found this adorable little white dress”. KEEP SHOPPING! Some girl wore a white dress to one of my best friends weddings and my friend was livid. As her go-to bridesmaid it took everything I had to not “accidentally” spill wine on her, though she was also not invited to the wedding because my friend didnt like her, yet she showed up anyway. So that would have added some more fuel to the fire.

Post # 19
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@UpstateCait: I am the same exact way, if someone wears white to one of my friends weddings they better watch out for my wine glass. I agree with you and Bailey, It is so simple to find another dress that would look just as good.

Post # 20
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@EffieTrinket: See, if I were the bride I would have just laughed…

Post # 21
Member
4460 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t care. Why get stressed? I’m not even wearing white/ivory so be my guest. I refuse to be a bridezilla about something that small.
I went to a Quaker wedding and all the guest wore white. I also went to a wedding in a baptist church and the bride asked everyone to wear white. It was very nice.

Post # 22
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee

Think about this.  A wedding photo that is taken from the bust up.  Two women standing together.  Two strapless dresses.  Neither is wearing a veil.  I would find it hard to look at my wedding photo and not know who is the bride (by looking…obvi I would know who was who).

Post # 23
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You don’t know if the bride is going to have a super over the top dress or a relaxed casual dress, but you pretty much know its going to be white/ivory, except in certain cases, (Im looking at you Mrs Grape) so my opinion is why on earth would you want to risk matching the bride?

I would care. I wouldn’t take action but I’m in the same camp as “really? every other color of the rainbow wasn’t looking good to you today?” I am pretty carefree about a lot of things with the wedding but I will be irked if someone wears white/ivory to my wedding.

Post # 24
Member
3974 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would be kind of ticked if someone wore a white/ivory dress to my wedding, but I certainly wouldn’t let it ruin the day for me.

However, the bride wears white on her wedding day and I don’t think it’s too much to ask that she gets her special day in her white dress. There are thousands of other colors you could wear. It’s really not that hard to just not wear white.

Post # 25
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@heather25: But isn’t the bride the one with the big, ridiculously happy grin on her face? 🙂 I see your point, though if I were in the white dress boat I’d make a point of not posing with a girl in a dress that, from the top up, is almost identical.

 

 

Post # 26
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee

@Mrs Grape:I usually have a silly ole grin on my face too. 

Post # 27
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

If you know what you’re doing, it’s kind of a jerk move to wear white to someone else’s wedding. Some brides won’t care; some brides will care; why would anyone want to assume that the bride whose wedding they are attending is one type or another? There are some easy things that you can do in your life to be non-offensive: one is to not wear white at a wedding that isn’t your own. 😉

Post # 30
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@SerenaSF: I agree! I just wanted my guests to be comfortable and I’d be PISSED if someone spilled something on one of them because he/she didn’t like that my guest was wearing white.

Post # 31
Member
5259 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would assume they did not know the rule- or why would they do it?

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