(Closed) Why is it inappropriate to wear white or ivory to a wedding?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
3201 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I wore a black and white dress to the wedding. Mind you it was mostly black with white stripes at the bust… and it was fine.

I don’t see anything wrong with wearing something that has some white in it, but I would never wear an outfit where white was the main color. That’s just me though.

Post # 48
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

To me I only think this rule applies when the white or ivory dress is solid and is leaning more toward to cocktail, formal end of the spectrum or is full length . I think a  shorter casual dress containing or mostly white would be ok …

The rule applies to me bc one does not want to appear in a dress similar to the brides gown or even her reception or  going away dress… simply put because it is her day and those are the dresses she feels she shines in

Post # 49
Member
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@spaniel: Well said!  I wouldn’t be a bridezilla over it, but I would find it a little odd and slightly offensive if a guest had worn white/ivory.  Now champagne, gold or other similar colors that are clearly not bridal wouldn’t be offensive.  But beyond all the reasons PP’s listed, when you’re in a crowded room you look for the bride in white and suddenly there’s someone being mistaken for the bride in that color.  It’s just something that’s a long standing tradition and extremely easy to avoid in my opinion.  Besides, I think there are a lot more flattering colors and outfits that a guest could find. 

Post # 50
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I dont care either way. I had a couple people wear white dresses and it didnt affect me at all. Even if I thought that they were doing it for attention I still wouldnt care. I would never have let something like the colour of a dress ruin my day. The wedding is about so much more than colours and looks.

Post # 51
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

@PitBulLover: But see, that is pretty bad in my eyes. At first look, I don’t see the bride. I see the other chick in white. In both pics. When I’m paying $$ for one day to stand out, I don’t want the competition in my photos.

Post # 52
Member
4211 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Belle2Be: I can see that. Good thing out over over 2500 photos those are the only 2 in which that is the case! 🙂

Post # 55
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I had a similar issue when I got married. I don’t really think of myself as the bridezilla type, and for the most part, small things didn’t throw me off stride, but this really surprised me. My husband is Indian, and for the ceremony, I was going to be wearing an ivory/gold sari.  His sister, who was walking down the aisle a little before me, also insisted on purchasing a VERY ornate ivory/gold sari. I have simple tastes, and hers looked much more ‘bridal’ than mine did. His mom questioned if that was OK, and the sister said ‘oh yeah, no one cares, Ivory looks good on me’. Well, this kind of irked me, but REALLY bothered my husband who put his foot down on that one. I figured she’s 21 and kind of a diva, so I chalked it up to immaturity, but in the end I was happier that she was forced to go with pink. The pictures would have looked funny if we were both dressed similarly.

 

 

 

Post # 56
Member
2896 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t know what I would do at my wedding if someone shows up it white. I wouldn’t call them out or anything (unless it’s a full length gown in my style, then it’s on).

I have been a guest a weddings where women have shown up in white dresses, and it does make me think ‘attention seeker.’ I just avoid white dresses at weddings because there are so many different colors to wear, so for one day guests should put the white away. 

Post # 57
Member
4211 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@SerenaSF: Aw thank you! 🙂 I agree that I Dont know why this rule was created. I always try to dress on the safe side so I Dont stand out but also still look hot!

Post # 58
Member
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honestly, I don’t have any problem with it.  I once considered having a black-and-white wedding so that people knew it was okay, but I’ve since decided that I want a more low-key affair, and asking people to wear something specific is rude.  So people can wear whatever they want, no matter what colour.  As long as they don’t wear anything that could be mistaken for a wedding dress, have at it!  Who cares?  Seriously. 

This whole wedding-planning thing really boggles my mind.  There’s so much I didn’t know.  So many things brides “NEED” to spend money on, and so many ways to “RUIN” her special day.  It’s absurd.  Are you really such a princess that you won’t even let anyone wear the same colour as you?  It’s a party.  Try to remember that.

I have never worn white to a wedding, because I know my opinion is atypical and making a point is not really worth pissing off some silly bride, but I HAVE noticed that it’s becoming more common.  I’m glad that people are finally getting over all of these silly bridal traditions that don’t actually mean anything.

Post # 58
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

View original reply
SerenaSF:  imagine my shock when the emcees wife changed from a flowery summer dress into an ivory lace tea length dres just before we all headed to the ceremony! Her dress was actually made from the lace I ordered but did not receive. My dear friend and bridesmaid told her to change back because her dress was too similar to mine but she refused. I could no longer be friendly to someone so rude and insensitive and have not spoken to these people since my wedding in 1989. 

Post # 59
Member
2164 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

The idea that anyone is going to overshadow the bride is nonsense. That isn’t going to happen no matter what color a dress is.

It is just a tradition, anymore. For my wedding I wore peach, so people aren’t supposed to wear peach? I didn’t care.

At my nephew’s wedding my sister-in-law wore a white capri-pants/jacket outfit with a colored top under. It was so far off from a wedding gown it didn’t even matter.

There are so many rules about guests attire that are antiquated or stupid, to begin with. Here are some:

No red, no black. Not the same color as the bridal party. No prints.

At the same nephew’s wedding, I wore a leaf-print 2 piece dress that was orange, black and peach. someone online told me that was inappropriate. What? It looked like the opposite of a wedding gown!

 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by DanaWeddingGuest. Reason: To Add
Post # 60
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think your dress was find since it had black in it and I wouldn’t mind that, but as for an all white dress it’s just tradition here. I would however be very offended if someone wore solid white or ivory to my wedding. I wouldn’t say anything to them or cause a scene. But I would be quite sour about it. To me, white is only for the bride and the focus is on the bride pretty much the entire day. So to me, someone else wearing white would be taking attention away from the bride on her special day. <br /><br />I’m also from the south though so it’s probably a bigger deal here haha. Most people would practically fall over from shock if a guest showed up in white. I think it all depends on where you live though. I actually have a friend who wore a black dress, so no one was allowed to wear black, but white was perfectly fine. And I know in Hong Kong a lot of brides right now wear multiple dresses in different colors, so guests wear whatever they want since it would be impossible to “ban” so many colors that guests can wear. 

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