Post # 1
Its interesting that the terms of service forbid insulting or disparaging the choices that brides make in regards to their weddings…
…and yet the choice and desire to marry someone of the same sex seems to be an exception to this rule.
A wedding website, that is supposed to be about supporting each other as we go through the process, has no business allowing others to “debate” the validity or the sanctity of another’s marriage.
If someone posted an “opinion” about inter-racial marriage being wrong, it would be stopped, rightfully so.
If someone posted an “opinion” about inter-religious marriage being wrong, it would be stopped, rightfully so.
So why do we allow threads to go on and on judging and debating the choices our LGBT bees make? How can we claim to be “supportive” when a gay or lesbian bride-to-be has to put up with people debating and questioning the legitimacy of their marriage?
Anyone who has been on the Bee for more than a week has realized there are 8 million different religious, regional, cultural, and budgetary differences among us. Some choices may lead us to raise an eyebrow, but it does us all a lot of good to realize “different from you” does not mean “wrong”.
Think of how you would feel if you came to check the bee for dress advice, and came across a post challenging and fighting over your love, your life, your heart, and your choices.
There is a place for “debate” over marriage equality, and I don’t think that place is here.
Post # 5
Great post, I completely agree.
Post # 6
@mandypop: Yes a million times! I couldn’t imagine planning a wedding to my same-sex partner (hypothetically, since I married a man! lol) and seeing people allowed to say such hateful, terrible things about my impending marriage. My heart really breaks for them.
“different from you does not mean wrong”- sooo stealing for the preschool aged kids I teach. I love it!
Post # 7
Totally agree and considered making a post like this myself. I think it’s so wrong that WB allows it, and it breaks my heart that Bees who are such a part of this close knit community have to see and put up with incredibly hateful and heartbreaking things coming from other members of the community.
Post # 8
This is a public forum and you have to understand that people will talk about anything in here. Also I’ve noticed these debates are started by ppl who are for equal rights asking ppl from opposing views to give them opinions. I think most ppl who don’t support equal rights are answering the thread bc its already started, they don’t start just bashing. That being said, any time it gets too heated or personal the MODS do a great job of stopping the thread.
Post # 9
Except people CANT just talk about anything here. There are rules. The terms of service expressly forbid disrespecting and insulting the choices of fellow brides.
I can’t think of anything more disrespectful or insulting than challenging the validity of someone’s entire marriage.
Post # 11
Couldn’t agree more. I can only imagine how hurtful it is for the LGBTQ members of this site to have to see people devalue their relationship whenever they sign on. It’s not fair.
Post # 12
GREAT POST! I agree 100%!!!!!
Post # 13
@mandypop: Then why do you think they start the thread?? And why ask for opinions you don’t want to hear. Frankly this happens all the time on here for different threads and the MODS do shut it down. I’ve seen brides getting bash for spending money they don’t have or spending too much money. I am saying this b/c i don’t see WB as a community that has hate, lol so i feel like i have to defend it a bit. I think for the most part everyone here is restpectful and sometimes ppl get heated but it happens with every topic. The WB admin team does a great job of keeping this civil.
Post # 14
@mandypop: This is an argument I’ve made to the Community Coordinator in the past six months and I was basically told “that’s life, and there’s nothing that can be done about it because it doesn’t violate the TOS”. I’d post the exact phrasing, but pretty sure PM’s are protected by the TOS. I’ve started participating less in this community because of threads like these and more in other forums where the terms of my marriage aren’t up for a daily right/wrong debate.
Post # 15
@sunnywoods but there is a difference between voicing opinions in a respectful manner and being down right rude.
agree that the mods do a great job of shutting down nasty threads.