(Closed) Why is it so hard to adjust to changes?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Is it a bad area as in there is not a lot of social activity going on, or is it a bad area as in there is a lot of crime and you don’t feel safe? If you don’t feel safe, do you have access to a car so you can drive to go somewhere that is safe?

Post # 5
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

Where are you? In Newark? In Philly?

Post # 7
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@beachchicbride:  *hugs*

Change is hard for most people. You’re in a new area, you hardly ever see your fiance, no wonder you’re upset! That is perfectly normal.

Is it possible that you could relocate to a safer area, though? Yeah moving again would suck, but I think safety is #1.

Could you set some goals for yourself to keep you more motivated and schedule your day a bit? I don’t know, maybe search for jobs for an hour or two a day (like to see what’s out there etc.). Maybe set up some fitness goals and either go to the gym during the day or have some good exercise videos for when you’re home at night to pass the time? Maybe learn to cook some new things? Cooking is a way I like to relax. Get Netflix and watch funny movies/shows to help distract you. Skype with friends/family – set up regular times each week to do this.

I think part of this is boredom, part of it is struggling to adjust to the changes, part is missing your fiance, part is safety.. you just need to find a better way to pass the time I think. And realize this is all temporary and will get better πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

How long do you have before you take your exam and can apply for jobs?

Post # 9
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

@beachchicbride:  Yeah, I’d hop in the car and drive to a safer area to take a yoga class or something. Are there any hobbies that you can throw yourself into for a bit? It sounds like you are pretty physically active. Have you found a gym in your new area? Maybe there is a new sport that you would like to try? Join a softball/volleyball/kickball/flag football team?

Post # 11
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@beachchicbride:  Sorry for being ignorant of how the process works – once you get your ATT, can you take the exam right away?

What I was going to suggest (depending on when the test is) was finding some nice coffee shops that you like, that you can drive to, and studying for the exam there. That would give you a goal to focus on, get you out the apartment, and get you around other people. The library can be good for this too. 

Of course, that’s going on the assumption that the test is soon and that you will need to spend significant time prepping for it. If not,  you might want to look into volunteering – that also gets you around other people, gives you a purpose, and gets you out of the house.

Post # 12
Member
9640 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

((HUGS))  It is hard adjusting to a new place, it always takes me about an entire year before I feel completely at home in a new place.  And you’re facing so many changes all at once, my heart goes out to you.

At least you have the Bee, I’m sure that will help.  I wish you all the best!

Post # 16
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@beachchicbride:  I hope so!!!

Moving to a new place, particularly when you’re not moving for a job or school, can be SO hard. Give yourself time, and don’t despair if it takes awhile to feel more at home! It WILL get better!!

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