(Closed) Why is it so hard to make friends after college?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
55 posts
Worker bee

[content moderated for trolling]

Post # 4
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@OnceUponATime:  Do you have any hobbies? I find that making friends at work isn’t really easy but I have always had luck when volunteering or going to local book clubs! Check facebook and see if there are any activities going on in your area. Church is also another place to look (even if your not religious). 

Post # 6
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Hi! I completely know where you are coming from. I actually had a similar post a few months ago. As PP if you have a hobby look up on meetup and see if there is a group that you could join. I play in a really fun adult indoor soccer league and in the summer play volleyball. It’s really fun and a great way to meet people!  What’s cool about playing in a league is no one cares about your level of skill and everyone is just there to have fun, meet people, and stay in shape. 

Post # 7
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

When we are younger close friendships are more common, because people tend to be in more proximity to us (school) … and we are on the same journey thru life & discovery…

As we age, we become more independent so we aren’t tied to the same “herd” experiences… this is what makes it more difficult

It is my experience that the next big opportunity to make life-long friends comes when you have kids, and then a lot of bonding happens over that experience, and meeting women / Moms at activities that your kids are invovled in

At 50+, this is now where most of my current long-term GFs have originated from…

As others have said, you need to find a way to interact with adult women who have some of the same interests as yourself… Sports, Hobbies etc is a key way

If you cannot find a group… because you live in a rural area… be aware that you may be a “God send” to others by starting one up.  (Such as a Scrapbooking Club, if this is something you currently do on your own at home alone)

Something to think about.


Post # 8
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@OnceUponATime:  check out meetup.com.  I have met some good friends there. 

Post # 9
46607 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

When we are in school, friendships happen more organically, because we spend so much time together.

My ex-husband used to be transferred every year. Those people in my new city already had friends. I was the one who needed friends, so it was up to me to make the first move. I invited women I met at the gym, the library, my sorority, the Jaycettes , church etc to go for coffe, then moved on to inviting them with their partner to our home for coffee and dessert (easier way to start then dinner).

Put yourself out there. There are nice people everywhere.


Post # 10
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

Have you tried meetup.com? I know you said you are in a rural area, but if you are willing to travel you may make some friends through that site.

I totally understand what you mean about making friends. Darling Husband and I had a solid group of friends, but we just moved 700 miles away from home a few months ago. It’s definitely been tough, but meetup.com has helped. We also live in an apartment complex and have been able to make friends that way (introducing ourselves to neighbors, etc.). It’s hard to make that first step, and we joke that it’s like dating all over again, but we’ve made some great friendships by putting ourselves out there and just saying hello!

Post # 11
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@OnceUponATime:  Oh no! I live in the middle of no where land too but I can blame that on my Darling Husband and his base assignment 😉 

I giggled at your church description! Sounds like the cowboy church I used to attend back in benson Arizona lol 

I really hope you find someone to share you hobbies soon because I definitely know what it is like! I am still in college but can’t relate to most of the people my age and my older friends all have kids so I am stuck in the middle. It took work but I finally found a couple of girls to call my own 🙂 

Crossing fingers that your friend search improves soon! 


Post # 12
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@julies1949:  +1 

OP, julies is SO right about making the first move! 

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