- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
My fiancé and I have been planning our wedding for a few years now, we originally planned a Christmas wedding in December of this year, my future mother in law constantly picked fault with our plans. She told me that she didn’t care for a lot of my ideas and that I was wasting my money. I actually think she was quite relieved when we told her the wedding was to be set back.
I don’t wish to discuss the reason our wedding cannot take place in December but it left us in a poor financial situation. However my family are truly disappointed that the wedding is to be delayed, I actually told my family that it would be some years before we got another opportunity. Well my mother and sister in law have other plans, all my close family members have got together to discuss how our wedding can take place. My dad, Eldest brother are financial quite sound. My mum is doing well and my other brothers although less fortunate do have very creative wives, and everyone seems to know someone who could help. We are so overwhelmed by this display of generosity, I did express that I could not take their money but my mum told me to except the kindness and get planning. I don’t actually know what we will be paying for yet, everyone seems to have taken a part of the wedding upon them. No one is yet to act controlling, but then I know my family are not the type of people to tell me what I must do, the just want to know what I want.
Back to my future mother in law, I’m still yet to figure out my fiancés family. I am polite and respectful in their company and I never slate them in front of my fiancé. So I really need to get a few things off my chest to you ladies. I posted a few days ago about my idea of an outdoor ceremony and because of the laws in the UK (excluding Scotland) I would need to get married somewhere else prior to the ceremony to make things legal, she went crazy with me. I suspect the main reason is I am not wanting to marry in her church, she kept going on about how I should do the same thing her son did last weekend at his wedding, and that it was cheap, and beautiful (that’s only her opinion by the way). Now I am polite but I do not tolerate anyone shouting at me, except my own parents that is. I don’t even understand her anger after my fiancé would not be the first of her children to not marry in church. I simply told her that I will carry out my wedding day as I see fit, I will do this respectfully and I am sorry that she cannot share the same enthusiasm as we do. I did say this in a rather stern manner before walking out the door. After I left (sat in my car) she turned on my fiancé, she always belittles him and he usually folds to her under pressure, I am pleased to say he did very well on his own for once. However he mentioned that she need not worry about the cost of the wedding as my family are covering most of it. This sparked round two, she calls me, I am still in my car at this point calming down, she then claimed I was only doing this to upset her because she is not giving me any money and that I am jealous she paid for her other sons wedding last weekend. I think I was out of line considering who she is but I told her, I would never ask her to give me money, I do not expect it to be offered, however I am disappointed that she willing showered one son with money and gifts but not the others. And that all he children should be treated equally. She rightfully pointed out that it was none of my business what she spent on her other sons wedding. To which I answered “you’re right it is none of my business but I suggest you do not parade yourself as a saint for what you did for ______ (other son) and then judge my family for what they choose to do for me and your other son”
As it stands, I am currently not welcome in her home, and she will not speak to my fiancé unless it is through his younger sister. I feel I should have kept my mouth shut but it was one step to far for me, I have bitten my tongue so many times before. I don’t see this ending well on the fact that she hasn’t spoken to her eldest soon in almost 10 years, over a petty argument he had with another son.
I cannot understand how my wanting a pretty outdoor ceremony has caused her so much grief, I told her I wished to have a blessing to show my respects to her families faith, but I am an atheist, I have recently been to a number of weddings at her church and I don’t feel comfortable marrying there.
Sorry this was long, I just need to speak to someone about it.