(Closed) why is it so hard to please my FMIL

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1172 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

So sorry your going through this..hugs…I dont think you were overboard in your response. Im sure that you spoke firmly but that you were not rude. Its your wedding, She isnt paying for it and so she has no say so. Sometimes you just cant please someone.


Its really none of her business what you do at your wedding. I wouldnt want someone who had so much negativity around me.

I probably would have told her to shove it albeit politely but I think you did the right thing. You have nothing to apologize for.

Good luck

Post # 5
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Stand your ground, you can only be someones human punching bag for so long, I cant believe she yelled at you! Unacceptable. As you have said you have always bit your tongue with her, this is your wedding not hers. She is not paying for it you and your family are so she cant expect you to do everything she wants. You are not even religious why should you get married in a church your uncomfortable with. Keep updated. Support & Hugss.

Post # 7
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You did the right thing.  

What she chooses to do with your Fiance is out of everyone’s control.  

Im sorry she’s treating you both like this,

Post # 8
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@stokieGal:  “She rightfully pointed out that it was none of my business what she spent on her other sons wedding.”  Well then why is she bringing it up?? 

I just went through something totally lame with my parents about the guest list – they assumed they could invite whomever they wanted because that was how they were raised.  Uh, what?  Further, my dad said he was mad that I didn’t ask for money for the wedding…looking back, maybe that’s why they are mad that they can’t invite anybody they want.  Parents are WIERD.

I think what you said was a little undiplomatic but it did need to be said.The problem is that you’re piling her past negativity with her son into this argument when you should really say ‘I will take that into consideration’ every time she tries to steamroll you.  And then do what you want.  I think she really just wants to be a part of the planning process and is going about it all wrong.  I would suggest apologizing (just do it, it will make all of the drama go away…you don’t have to mean it) and then give her a specific job…something that you don’t really care about, like the tea/coffee service or favors or something.  Maybe then she’ll focus elsewhere and let you get on with it.

I am so sorry.  It’s hard enough planning a wedding without getting someone elses crap involved. 

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