(Closed) Why is it "taboo" to wear white to someone else's wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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everyusernameistaken:  The bride is supposed to wear white and she should stand out from the rest of the guests. I don’t know if this is what the etiquette book says but I didn’t want people wearing white at my wedding, yes they won’t stand out more than me and my husband, but I just don’t find it appropriate.

Post # 3
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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everyusernameistaken:  Because the other person wearing white could upstage the bride, who is supposed to be the star of the show.

Post # 5
Member
2979 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Because people are so self entitled they actually think someone wearing a similar colour (I believe this ‘rule’ has now been extended to cream, blush, other pale colours, champagne, beige, white with prints, prints with white, anything too prom-ey, etc) will distract people from the bride. These people are incredibly dim, controlling and just a tad bit insane.

Post # 6
Member
3258 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

The bride is supposed to stand out, especially in photos. If she’s the only one in white, that is guaranteed.

Personally I don’t care either. We are just doing a small beach elopement with less than 15 people and yet I am constantly asked what I want them to wear. I just don’t care, and told them to wear shorts, flip flops, or a white dress if they want to.

Post # 7
Member
5304 posts
Bee Keeper

There’s always Sue Sylvester from Glee who actually wore a bridal gown to Will & Emma’s wedding 🙂

 

As a bride though, I’m not wearing white myself so I don’t really care if someone else wears white

As a guest I would avoid wearing white, because I just don’t see the point of having to check with the bride if she minds and then worrying if others will think I’m being inappropriate, when I could simply find something pretty and flattering in literally every other colour

Post # 8
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Its funny because in Roman times bridesmaids all dressed like the bride to confuse evil spirits as to who was getting married. At some point in history we did a 180. 

Post # 9
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

It’s just a tradition.  As PPs stated, it’s so the bride stands out as the only one who is wearing white.  You don’t have to agree with that, but that’s the reasoning behind it.

Post # 10
Member
1617 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I actually think, from a historical perspective, it meant something else. I don’t knw what, but the colour had meaning. Keep in mind, brides were supposed to be PURE (no kids no premarital sex) on their wedding day so the colour was ONLY fitting to the bride.

Now I think it’s entitlement for sure, but I don’t think it was always and I’m too lazy to Google lol

Post # 11
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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gingerkitty:  I actually love the idea of having all the bridesmaids wear white like they did back in the day, but in pictures, it’s super confusing to me! I like for the bride to really stand out from her attendants.

Post # 12
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee

I think it has morphed into a sign of respect/forethought. It’s not the color itself that upsets people so much as what wearing the color seems to represent–that somebody did not consider the bride and her feelings and the significance of the day enough to not wear white, or at least check with her about it. If somebody doesn’t mind being perceived as attention-seeking or rude, that says more about that person than the color itself. At the end of the day, a color is a color, but it’s the respect that comes with not wearing it that is truly meaningful. 

 

Traditions can morph so much that they take on a new and more symbolic significance. Think about birthdays–365 days of life is an arbitrary accomplishment, but it is still nice to send somebody a card or say happy birthday due to the symbolic significance of the action. 

Post # 13
Member
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

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liaeona:  Completely agreed.

I think this is something so silly for guests to fight. *Traditionally* white is a color you associate with a bridal gown, as a guest there is a whole other rainbow of colors to wear and other events where you can proudly wear your favorite white dress. If you’re invited to someone’s wedding you’re surely close enough to want to respect them enough to wear a different color than white.

 

Post # 14
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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WesterosBarbie:  I’ve always heard that white became a tradition because Queen Victoria wore white to her wedding in 1840something, as at the time having stark white clothing meant that you were rich enough to afford to keep it clean. Plus she had some nice white lace she wanted to show off, apparently. Being royalty, she started a trend. A Practical Wedding had a very interesting article recently about how that sort of got co-opted to stand for purity and whatnot thanks to the patriarchy.

Post # 15
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

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everyusernameistaken:  I actually wouldn’t really be upset if someone showed up in white to my wedding (my dress is a light grey/silver anyway), but I don’t fault someone who would be upset. Though a guest in a short/informal white dress wouldn’t likely upstage the bride, it’s nice for the bride’s dress to stand out from others in photos, etc rather than blending with the white dress next to her.

Personally, I don’t understand why people get so annoyed with the idea of not wearing white to a wedding. There are so many other colors to wear, why do people need to wear white? It comes across like a child who just wants a toy because they were told they can’t have it. As a pp said, there is literally EVERY other color to choose from.

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