(Closed) Why is it "taboo" to wear white to someone else's wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 31
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Currently, it is a social norm That only the bride should be in white (or what is a known bridal gown even if it is pink). it may change in 50 years. But currently, if you go against this social norm, it is in fact a sign of disrespect with the knowledge that the bride MAY get offended. She may not, but as seen on this thread alone, some brides would be upset and some will not.

Post # 32
Member
1449 posts
Bumble bee

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everyusernameistaken:  Idk, because white is *the* bridal color I guess. I dont think it’s a rule grounded in logic or reason, it’s more of an emotional response type of thing, given the hype around how “special” wedding dresses are for brides.

Idk, I just don’t get why people can’t just suck it up and wear another damn color for ONE day. Just seems whiny to me.

Post # 34
Member
1203 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I haven’t read all of the responses, so I don’t know if this was already mentioned, but not all brides can afford a super elaborate dress. Sometimes, all they can afford is a basic party dress or sun dress (the kind that a not-so-color-minded guest might consider casual enough for guest attire). In this case, it’s especially nice to at least have a simple color set aside to make the bride special on her day.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by  lightchaser.
Post # 35
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

It is another way for the bride to stand out And be special on her day. That she is the only one in white.

Post # 36
Member
3088 posts
Sugar bee

Unless it is clearly not a wedding dress, I could care less.I don agree with that rule either.

Post # 37
Member
3088 posts
Sugar bee

‘Unless it’s clearly a wedding dress…’

Post # 38
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

It’s the same reason the bride wears a white/light color in the first place. Tradition. And I’ve seen many brides wear a simple dress off the rack, where literally ONLY the white color indicates her as a bride. 

Someone on this forum posted pictures of her mother-in-law dancing with her husband (MIL’s son, obviously) on the night of the wedding. The Mother-In-Law wore a long white gown and everyone assumed she was the bride until the bride told us it was her Mother-In-Law. It’s just social ettiquette that should be followed. 

Post # 39
Member
1124 posts
Bumble bee

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chigirl217bride:  

Bringing uninvited children is much more rude than wearing a certain color lol if someone only owned one nice dress and it was mostly white, I couldn’t care less if they had worn it to our wedding. Better than having to go out and buy another dress just for the wedding. If they have plenty of other options, sure. But I don’t think it’s an issue anymore, since so many are not wearing white wedding dresses anymore. 

Post # 40
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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penguinwapi:  I agree do people only have one wedding appropriate dress and it only comes in white?  Save your cute white dress for the BBQ, church, girls/date night, and add another color to your wardrobe.

Post # 41
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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everyusernameistaken: i get the reasoning behind the not wearing white thing, i wouldn’t wear white to someone else’s wedding (even if the bride wasn’t in white) just because i wouldn’t want to risk upsetting a bride or being side-eyed the whole night by other guests lol.  

but for me personally, i think it would bother me more if someone showed up to my wedding in a tight neon pink dress or something else that is very showy and eye catching, than if they were in white or off white. 

Post # 42
Member
241 posts
Helper bee

http://time.com/3698249/white-weddings/

This is what started the “tradition” of white for weddings. Before this and even after when a lot of people were too poor to have white and they had to sew their own dresses, they just wore whatever their best dress was.

I don’t put much stock into “tradition” since so many things were tradition until all of a sudden they weren’t. And new things that seem strange can turn into a tradition that you are then pressured into doing just for the sake of “tradition”. Nah, I’m not about that.

So when the wedding industry told brides that they are the most important person of all time for that one day and that whatever they need/say goes, it lead to brides feeling like they need to stand out and be on display. You can’t properly be on display if some of your guests are wearing the same color. The people who only get to see the pictures of your wedding won’t know which woman-in-white is the bride. I’m not trying to insult the brides that feel that way, but how else would you explain the huge controversy when someone wears a cream colored floral print as a guest? In this generation it is safest to wear a different color than any of the white spectrum.

The tradition used to be to dress as similar to the bride as possible to ward off bad/evil spirits who wanted to kidnap the bride and ruin the wedding. I like that “tradition” better.

Post # 43
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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everyusernameistaken:  I’m with you. I don’t see what the big deal is. I would have no issues with anyone wearing white at my wedding. I just want all the parts covered up, if ya know what I mean. That said, i am all about supporting the bride’s wishes and making it “her day” so if she says no white, I will wear blue. 

Post # 44
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

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scissorgirl:  a really good point with the post links! I went in and read the first one, and was like, wow! Not to mention, that poster is pregnant, and has a dress that has a print on it, and people still expected her to buy a new maternity dress she’ll wear that one time. To me, that is definitely carrying it too far. It’s one thing to think about guests in general, but someone who is 8.5 half months pregnant, they should get a pass regardless. 

Post # 45
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I think it depends on the bride/wedding style itself but I personally totally understand why a bride might not want a guest to wear white on the *one* day where you know her dress color is (atleast traditionally) a huge deal.

I don’t see women wear white dresses very often as it is and if someone chose to wear a white dress to a wedding (without like a totally laid back view on that sort of thing from the bride) I would kind of feel like .. Really? Why today? Haha. But I wouldn’t throw a fit. It wouldn’t be any type of issue for me but I do find it strange how often it comes up that women even wonder “is this okay?” Honestly even thinking that tells me that you’re probably aware it isn’t the best choice. 

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