(Closed) They Always Want You Once You Are Taken….

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
6996 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@ashleyyyg: yes yes yes! I met my husband about a month and a half after a breakup (we dated 3 years) and at the time my ex was like ” i dont want to be together but im not givng up, who knows what future holds for us” meaning “i want to keep my options open but i dont want you running off and finding someone else quite yet” but the minute he found out about the guy i was “talking to” he came back to me and was like this is unbelievable, how coud you move on so fast? is it serious? who is he? how could you do this to me? i wanted to be like wait a minute…you broke up with me remember?

they want what they can’t have….

Post # 18
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Have you never found a guy more attractive when you know some girl at home loves the hell out of him? Ummm I sure as hell have! If a guy is taken, it means he’s good enough to be taken, which means he’s desirable… makes perfect, logical sense.

I enojoy the attention.

Post # 19
5373 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@lefeymw: Totally agree! All of a sudden my past guy friends and male coworkers won’t leave me alone. It’s like they’re all trying to convince me that they would be better for me. It’s flattering but at the same time having all these guys texting me all the time can cause tension between SO and I.

Post # 20
2144 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

The same thing happened to me. When my ex and I broke up, he admitted that he didn’t really want to think about me being with someone else and got a little jealous when I started seeing someone, even though he’s the one who broke up with me. Eventually we stopped talking, so he didn’t know what I was doing anymore, but I started seeing someone who wouldn’t commit to anything serious. I wanted to be officially dating and he just never had the time for me. So then when I met my fiancé and we’d gotten engaged, this guy started texting me, telling me he really misses me. I told him I was engaged and he said he felt like he messed up by letting me go so easily. He texted me a few more times after that and I kept reminding him I’m engaged and now I haven’t heard from him in a while.

There was another guy from high school who was one of my brother’s good friends, who sent me a whole bunch of messages on facebook after I changed my relationship status. He said he always had a crush on me back then and never had the guts to say anything and now it was too late. The messages got pretty annoying because he just kept saying the same thing over and over, that he wished he’d told me then.

There’s also the one who I was completely infatuated with before I met my ex. He had too many issues because he was still hung up on his ex, but we were definitely both really attracted to each other. We ended up staying friends and still talk, but after my ex and I broke up and I started to go out and date other people, he got a little weird and wanted me to give him another chance to make up for how things flopped 3 years earlier. I couldn’t do it because he was then hung up on his current ex. Then after a few months him and his ex got back together and I met my fiancé.

I also get hit on a lot more for some reason, now that guys see I have a ring on my finger. I don’t get why you would try to flirt with someone who’s clearly engaged.

Post # 21
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

All my exes came out when I got engaged. One was just a BAD relationship that had wrecked me and he wrote me a long letter apologizing and saying how lucky my husband is… uhhh yeah too bad you didn’t know that then.

Post # 22
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh, happened to me several times! But one of them, was very very special to me. We dated for a year, not officially and we never figured out why we never took the “step”. When I found my Fiance he found out about this, and got together with his ex again. They are also engaged today aswell. After that we met once and he told me that his feelings for me will always be there, even though we’ve chosen to go separate ways. During the whole time we dated he was secluded about his feelings but committed to me and so forth. He spilled the beans when I told him our “inofficial” wedding is in January. It’s pretty sad, knowing that he and I could have been something great. I know that what I have now together with the man I truly love is so much better and healthier for me.

One of the guys I dated back in the days was in the Army and it was not serious (or so I thought). When he found out I got engaged 1 1/2 years after we broke off (he still being single after our relationship), he said he always wanted for him and me to have this, engagement, marriage.. etc etc. He said it felt like a slap in the face, because at that point of my life when me and this guy was dating, I was not looking for marriage, serious relationships, and since he was from US and me from Scandinavia I felt it would be impossible to keep it going.. :/ 

After being engaged, I do feel guys pay more attention. It’s cute, and Fiance kinda gets mini jealous. He knows I am his and that is a great feeling knowing I made the right choice.

Post # 23
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had contacted my most recent ex because I found a memory card that belonged to him with pictures from his daughter’s birth. Instead of allowing it to be quick, cut and dry, he kept dragging it out, and never saying when and where I could drop it off, or mail it to. Kept messaging me, kept asking how I was. Finally I stopped logging into my Myspace.

Then my ex from HS, added me on Facebook, and didn’t say a word, except to like statuses and pictures. The one time he ever messages me, he makes sure to ask how getting married is going, etc.

Post # 24
2023 posts
Buzzing bee

Only about a zillion times! The worst was when I went back home for my besties wedding and guys who never talked to me the 10 years I lived there were all of a sudden crawling all over themselves to come talk to me. Really? Thanks, but no thanks.

Post # 25
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@ashleyyyg: YUP. I dunno why. It’s like, when you are super happy, you are awesome. They are jealous, and want some of the awesome.

Post # 26
4640 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I have found the same thing to be true.

Once I got serious with my guy, all these guys started coming out of the woodwork. The only explanation I can come up with is that I was a happier, smilier, maybe more “glowing” person, more confident since I was in love and those characteristics made me more attractive to others.

Post # 27
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

They realize they missed out on something awesome. Want what they can’t have, etc. And yes, it happened to me a few times actually since I have been with Fiance (2 years now.) TOO BAD, SO SAD! Laughing

Post # 28
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

SO TRUE!!!!! We did not change our status on Facebook so I’m not even sure how my ex even know…but I think they have like a 6th sense and know when to come stir the pot.

Post # 28
7 posts
  • Wedding: November 2015

Miss Mochaccino:  My ex’s facebook page has half nekkid women on it…and 98% of his friends are big booty females. SMH! And he wanted to marry me! I told him I moved on and he went bats**t on me over the phone.

Post # 29
127 posts
Blushing bee

About 4 months before I began a relationship with SO, I got broken up with. My ex decided to get a….well, let’s just say he wanted a woman, just not to be in a relationship with her. I guess we were moving too slow for his tastes. Anyways, lo and behold, I start dating SO and who comes out of the woodwork. This guy randomly texts me out of the blue trying to get back with me. What???

That sticks out but I’ve had guys I haven’t seen or talked to since freshman year of high school (I’m 23 now) try to start flirting with me again. I’ve had friends’ brothers start chatting me up and asking me out. This neverrrrr happened before. Where were all these guys when I was all single and lonely??? LOL! *smh*

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