(Closed) Why is money so important?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@rachelmichelle:  SO and I have been together for almost 5 years, all through college, but we both wanted graduate school, and unfortunately they were in different cities. Plus, he was not ready to be married. He still isn’t, really, and he wants to reach a major milestone in his graduate Ph.D. program where things are settled down (and he’s not working 80+ hours a week) before we get married. We WILL be living together beforehand (only 10 more weeks, I am so excited!) but I don’t think that ties into the waiting for us.

ETA: We would both wait until we could make enough to live together (i.e. if I couldn’t get a job where he lives now, I would feel uncomfortable moving there and relying on his salary, whcih would not be enough). So yes, money is important. I think “being established” in a career is not so much based on money amounts, but attaining a reasonably secure position, working your way up so you’re not the little guy anymore.

Post # 4
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

By the time we got married, we were together for 8 years. Because, we were waiting until we were done our degrees. The reasons for us to wait for that were:

1) We didn’t want any wedding planning stress while being in school. 

2) Until we finished school and started our jobs we would not have the money for a wedding. We funded our entire wedding and while we could have legally gotten married for very cheap, we wanted to wait until we could have the wedding we had always dreamed of. 

3) We had been together a long time but there still was no rush. Even if we weren’t married we were together in a committed relationship. So getting married for the sake of being married didn’t make much sense to us.

Let me state however that we lived together beore marriage, so I understand why you might not want to wait as long.

Post # 5
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Darling Husband had been out of school for 2 years and I am finishing my last couple weeks of grad school. He has a great job and I just got an ok job. I think it’s important to be able to pay your bills before getting married and not be drowning. Money is the #1 problem cited in divorce. Divorce rates are also high in the first 2 years. 

Post # 7
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Been Together 6 years ill be 23 soon. We decided to save $ and live at home and bought a condo 2.5 years ago. So I Think 100% you should be established and have $ and savings before getting married. Now we already own a home and can just save our money for a wedding without debt. I get that you don’t want to live together before being married but saving for a home while living at home is much easier then renting and trying to save on top of school and bills. Just my own personal opinion and it works well for us 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Today, my advice would be to get married combine finances and work together. The economy is rough, jobs aren’t guaranteed out of college and those with good jobs can loose it at any time. Just like there is never a perfect time to have a baby, the same applies for a wedding. I think life can just be so unpredictable, at the end of the day its left in the hands and will of the individuals.

Getting married young is not the end of the world. Just make sure you get good pre marital counseling (cover all big issues! And know each other well- and I don’t mean in the living together or sleeping together way), have excellent communication and are in it together to work as a team.

Yes money is important and it can ruin marriages, but if you going into a marriage combining and making smart financial choices it can make your life better! I also recommend going to Dave Ramseys Financial Peace University ( popular for engaged or newly married) or pursuing some type of financial counseling/education.

Post # 9
Member
10571 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’m still in school, but wasn’t really thinking of getting engage/married before I was done school until he popped the question.

For me it wasn’t about having money, but just a life stage.  I don’t regret being married now, but in some ways I also feel behind.  I feel like being in school is keeping us from doing what we would have liked after getting married – settling down somewhere and buying a house.

Financially, getting married didn’t make much of a difference.  We were living together already.

Post # 10
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

In the words of Homer Simpson: “Money can be exchanged for goods and services.”  That makes it important. 

Why have a stash before getting married? To make sure I can cover my ass if my husband and I ever decide to part company. Divorces ain’t cheap. You dont’ want to start a marriage expecting to fail, but it’s wise to plan for the event that it does.

Post # 11
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Darling Husband and I married young, and it actually made more financial sense to do so than to wait. We had been together 4 years before we got married, and we lived together 2 years before that. We held off on marriage longer than we intially planned because it did not make financial sense. I feel marriage is an important commitment, but it’s also a major business/practical (for lack of better terms) decision. I firmly believe you can be committed even though you are not married and vice-versa.

My advice is to look at the situation logically rather than ideally. Does getting married make the most sense for you and your SO? Will you potentially put yourself in a financial hardship? Every situation is different, and I don’t think a blanket statement for or against marrying young applies to everybody. I am actually eligible for far more financial aid married than as a single student, which is of huge finanicial benefit to us now (living more comfortably) and later (less student loan debt to repay). However, we held off for two years because, if we had married sooner, we would have lost health insurance (we were both covered on our parents’ plans and this was pre-Obamacare).

Long story short, try to look at your particular situation from every angle in order to make an informed, logical decision. If getting married will make no difference in your finances and you feel ready, I say go for it. There is nothing wrong with marrying young or holding off, but, IMO, there is plenty wrong with making poor financial decisions. 

Post # 12
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

2 words. Financial aid.

I managed to get a scholarship for single ( I.e not married ) women paying their way through school. Since I am just a first year grad student I cant TA or get an assistantship yet. 

Post # 13
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@imalittlebirdie:  I have to disagree here. Everyone’s experience is different. I would definitely advise the OP to look into the ramifications getting married will have on her potential financial aid, but I do not believe marriage automatically negatively impacts it. Actually, I know it doesn’t from personal experience. I am now eligible for federal grants that were previously unavailable to me because, as a single person under 24, I was still considered a dependent of my mother and stepfather. I lived on my own and they paid for nothing (for school or otherwise), but their income (which was/is much higher than the maximum to qualify for grants) still disqualified me. Once I got married, only our (DH and I) income was considered. Also, not all scholarships require one to be single. Actually, from what I’ve seen, that’s a very small percentage. The only way OP will know if marriage would positively or negatively affect her eligibility would be to speak with a financial aid advisor/do research concerning her specific situation. 

Post # 15
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@MsPoodles:  I’m considered an independent since I am in graduate school.  I get squat in federal aid. I was just answering the question abour why I am not getting married yet. If we do fi and I lose what FA we do get for or doctoral and masters programs.

Post # 16
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@imalittlebirdie:  That makes total sense. I was assuming (I’m not sure why) that the OP was an undergrad (as am I). I know the financial aid options are much different for masters and doctoral programs, so I understand why your situation is much different now. I didn’t mean to come off abrasive. It’s just that many people assume getting married will negatively affect one’s financial aid options, and that’s not always the case. 

 

@rachelmichelle:  You’re right. It never hurts to check every avenue. In my case, the aid I receive is not available to married students only, but the fact that I’m married put me in a lower income bracket because Darling Husband and I make less than my parents. If I were you, I would investigate both options (those available to married students only and those available for those in your new income bracket). 

The topic ‘Why is money so important?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors