(Closed) WHY is my ex contacting me NOW?! [Sorry, so long]

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is a classic case of a stupid ex wanting what they can’t have. i think he probably felt like he could have had you back at any time before your wedding, and now that you are married, he feels like that possibility has slipped away.

I can’t explain why his behavior has irked me (as I don’t know either of you), but it really annoys me that he is doing this to you. It’s like he is dangling some forbidden fruit in your face that he knows you would have once jumped for in an instant.

I vote tell him to F off.

Post # 4
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@undercoverbee123:  Agree with PP, he wants what he can’t have.  He’s remembering the past in the a distorted way and idealizing your relationship.  It’s probably easier for him to do that than to have a real relationship with someone.

You should tell him to eff off and enjoy your happy life with your husband.

Post # 5
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Consider that maybe he is confessing these things now, when he knows it’s already too late and doesn’t need to consider the weight of a full life shared with another person. I’m saying he’s a coward.

Post # 6
47440 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Stop communicating with him! No good will come of this.

Post # 10
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

@undercoverbee123:  I’ve been in a similar situation.  Yes, you may have experienced feelings for him in the past, but you are married woman.  You have to cut all ties off with him.  Tell him you’re happily married and that you want him to stop.  Regardless of how many times he contacts you, DO NOT ANSWER or RESPOND!! 

Post # 11
1277 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Been in a similar situation…whatever you do don’t do it….don’t see him, don’t answer his calls, better yet change your number, block him from facebook and just move on….he had his chance…did not see how wonderful you are…his loss and your DH’s gain…your DH was man enough to marry you while your EX never did or made any attempt to until he knew you were taken….classic and typical douche bag guy behavior….sorry if I sounded harsh….good luck to you!

Post # 12
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

You might send him a message that you couldn’t be happier married to your husband, he is everything you always wanted and more, and that your ex should never contact you again.  Saying these things might help you feel them 100% (I bet you feel them 99.9% now, but its that 0.1% that is bugging you).  He only wants you now because he can’t have you, if you were single, he wouldn’t be pursuing you like this.  A relationship that ended as badly as yours did would have had little to no chance of working out if rekindled anyways – too much hurt and pain with it.  Remind yourself of these things, and please don’t be hard on yourself for letting this effect you.  It is totally normal, this guy was a big part of your life. 

Post # 13
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Your Fiance is right.  Take it as flattery and move on.  It’s tugging at the scars that have healed in your heart… so any more attention and it will RIP open.  Do you really need that?  You are married to a wonderful man who takes care of your heart.

End the communication and be 100% confident in yourself and how much stronger you have become WITHOUT him.

Any more and it really will start to be disrespectful to your husband and your marriage.

Post # 14
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sounds like your ex is a little boy who is upset because someone else is playing with his toy that he didn’t even care about until he realized he couldn’t have it anymore.  The past always remembers better than it lived.   You both need to realize this. Quite frankly, it doesn’t sound like it even ‘remembers’ that well. You ordered a steak, stop thinking about the salad. Tell him that if he really wants to make you happy, he needs to just leave you alone.  This is going to sound harsh but you’re a smart woman, don’t be a dumb girl. Block his number, and block him on facebook. Please don’t let this mess up all the great things you’ve got going for you.      

Post # 16
11266 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

ex’s are ex’s for a reason.  this ex ‘tainted’ your life before and he is just trying to ‘taint’ your happy life again.  don’t let him succeed.  cut all contact and forget about him.

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