(Closed) Why is my sister such an idiot? (long!)

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Ugh.  I’m so sorry.  I’ve gone thru a similar thing with my sister – albeit to a much lesser extent.  Honestly, I think (as hard as it is) you basically just need to wait for them to figure it out on their own.  If he is abusive, obviously, different story (get her out of there!).  I think sometimes having the family gang up against a bf just makes the sister, or whoever, get into defensive mode and side with the bf/husband even more.  Often, I think the only thing that can be done is to wait until she figures it out and then support and encourage her (rather than alienate her and cause her to go back to him).  Good luck to you.

Post # 4
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

“My sister has been in the hospital a couple of times because she tried to kill herself because he was leaving her.”

This is very serious.  Is she getting help?

Post # 5
322 posts
Helper bee

I think this has gone beyond any advice / intervention that you and your family can provide.

What she needs now is professional couple’s counselling, but BOTH of them need to commit to going and have the willpower to follow through on what the therapist suggests they work on. From your description, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

I guess she eventually needs to wake up to the reality that, yes, this guy can be a jerk sometimes and that its demeaning herself to be constantly apologising for his failures as a husband and partner. But until then, I doubt there is much you can do other than sit grimly through the train wreck. I suppose it’s a small mercy they don’t have kids that are caught up in this awful cycle?

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