(Closed) Why is New York so DIFFICULT?!!!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I assure you, noone has anything against you personally. Then again, if you’re overly giddy, they may think you’re crazy. I grew up just outside of the city but frequented it often. It’s a whole new way of life there. It’s fast paced and impersonal. You kinda just have to roll with it.

I guess my only advice would be to try to blend in more if you’re feeling that much like an outsider. Sorry I can’t provide any real helpful tips. I haven’t lived there for a number of years but I’m sure it hasn’t changed much. 

Post # 4
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m sorry, but I had to laugh a little at your post.  Why would you want to talk to the cabbie?  And I’m pretty sure no one’s staring at you, unless you’re walking around mesmerized by the sky scrapers. 

New Yorkers are very simple:  They are not generally friendly with strangers.  They don’t care all that much about what the people around them wear (this is the city of the naked cowboy, afterall) and they probably aren’t going to pay attention to you unless you’re stopping them from walking as quickly as they want to on the sidewalks.  New Yorkers also don’t want to strike up conversations with random people.  I’m sorry but the cabbies will probably not want to talk to you.  

But New York can be a wondeful place.  Have you checked out 5th Avenue?  Central Park?  Time Square?  Chinatown?  Little Italy? Greenwich Village?  There’s a ton of awesome neighborhoods, beautiful architecture, and fantastic shopping.  If you’ve really got some time to kill, try taking the ferry over to Staten Island (and come immediately back) because the views of lower Manhattan are gorgeous. 

Post # 5
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Hang in there.  I had that same experience when I lived in DC for 3 months.  No one smiled there!!!  Coming from southern California we’re always smiling here.  I must have looked like an idiot there smiling at everyone.

And yeah, I definitely had some comments about the way I dressed.  One time I actually overheard someone say “she must be from California.”  Nothing was scandalous.  Just not dreary.  God forbid I wear pink to work and accessorize a little.  

Just hang in there.  It’ll be over soon.  Plus New York has SO MUCH to see and do.  Take advantage of your time there and explore all you can. 

Post # 6
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s not that people are being mean to you, it’s that no one cares to be overly nice.  People in nyc on the street are interested in getting from point A to point B and that is it.  I agree with PP that the only thing that would draw negative attention is if you were walking really slowly.  

NYC is great, it’s just not the place to be chatting up strangers.

Post # 7
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Future MrsB:  hahaha  here it would be considered kind of rude to not talk to your cab driver.  That’s why OP was offended that he didn’t talk to her.

Post # 8
Member
2822 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@jayebaby:  Hang in there girl! I’m from Seattle where people are generally very friendly! We say good morning & good evening to everyone & people are just nice, so I definitely feel your pain.

Post # 9
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Meowkers:  LOL it would never occur to me to talk to cab driver except to give him the address.  WTH do you talk about?

Post # 10
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

If you lived in a tiny cramped place with no personal space for a long period of time, you’d be miserable too. lol

I’m not a fan of NYC. Too many people in such small spaces. You may find the pace of the NE much faster than the pace out in SoCal. I’m sure you’ll get used to it, or at least some what comfortable and you’ll be ok. I have friends there and they have found some good places with good people. It’ll work out, its just a big adjustment

Post # 11
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Future MrsB:  New Yorkers are very simple:  They are not generally friendly with strangers.  They don’t care all that much about what the people around them wear (this is the city of the naked cowboy, afterall) and they probably aren’t going to pay attention to you unless you’re stopping them from walking as quickly as they want to on the sidewalks.  New Yorkers also don’t want to strike up conversations with random people. 

Truth. OP, call a friend if you want to talk while you’re walking around? NYC isn’t difficult, it’s just very independent.  And yes, you can keep talking on your phone while you’re in the cab. No one cares what you do.

(I miss it! I love disappearing in a crowd.)

Post # 12
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I promise you, no one is looking at what you’re wearing. People don’t care about other people in New York, that’s just the way it is – nothing fazes them. It’s such a busy, crowded place that people basically stick to their own business – I think it’s an East Coast thing.

When I walked around today, plenty of people were only wearing sweaters – I think right now you’ve just got culture shock and are only seeing negative (not to disregard your comment, New York certainly can be difficult). Also, regarding how nice people are, I think it depends on the neighborhood – if you’re around Times Square/Penn Station, you can pretty much forget about people being nice.

Post # 13
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Future MrsB:  My thoughts exactly. Even Upstate we don’t talk to the cab drivers. It’s not that I have anything against them, I just have no idea what we’d ever talk about. When we went to Bermuda for our Honeymoon it was a total culture shock since the cab drivers talk the ENTIRE time. It was fine and we enjoyed it since they were telling us about the island but it was still a little strange and took some getting used to. 

Post # 14
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Future MrsB:  Totally agree about the walking thing. It’s my number one pet peeve and even I get grumbly to tourists when they are too slow or just standing and gawking at random things in the middle of the sidewalk. Walk fast, people!

Post # 16
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Don’t take it personally, but I probably would’ve looked at you funny too, it’s pretty chilly today to be out in a sundress.  LOL!  Seriously, I agree with PPs.  It’s nothing personal.  Us NYers just tend to want to get to where we need to go as quickly as possible.  We don’t want to chat, we get annoyed by slow moving tourists staring at buildings and blocking the sidewalk, we assume when strangers talk to us they are about to do something bad, are not right in the head or are tourists looking for directions (not really but yeah kinda…lol).  It’s a fast moving city and if you don’t go with the flow you will feel exactly how you are feeling now.

Try walking around the city on the weekends when it’s a little slower and people are a little more tolerant.  Try Central Park or the Washington Square Park for great people watching.  Check out Red Hook, Brooklyn for awesome lobster rolls or City Island in the Bronx for great seafood.  There are a lot of gems in NYC and lots to love.

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